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Thread: Donor Conception General Chatter #1

  1. #109

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    OMG Suzi I'm sooooo happy for you, I'm in tears! You deserve this sooo much!And Gargy too, it's all happening! I can't believe all the good news in here!

    I love the 'Earl' referemce too Gargy, I'm an Earl fan!


  2. #110

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    Gargy, that is so fantastic. i had tears in my eyes for you as it just sounds like it is all going to work out perfectly and you will have nothing to worry about. Lucky you to have 2 wonderful men in your life.
    suziq, I have already got all excited for you, a bit prematurely, but I just knew she would be "the one" so I am really glad to hear that you are both going to commit. It is funny how the language we use regarding known donors is the same as with an exclusive lifetime relationship and I hope too that I can find someone we can have that special relationship with too. Yay for you and Heather "getting it on".
    Lulu, how are you going? Hope AF is staying away.

  3. #111

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    SuziQ - that is wonderful news. I will be keeping everything crossable crossed for you. This next one is going to be THE ONE!

    Gargy - so glad things are also going great for you. Hopefully there is more good news just around the corner.

    Lulu - hope you are doing okay. :hugs:

    Well, I had my appointment with the FS last week and I SO wanted him to notice that although I haven't gotten down to 70kg, that I have actually been losing cm's! And thankfully it was the first thing he commented on! The second was how I could still be single and what's wrong with all the men in Bendigo! LOL! (I wish I knew!!! ).

    He has suggested I try a 'flare' cycle which I haven't done before and although he said I will never get 20+ eggs, that even getting 6 would be a great result for me (considering I've never had more than 2). So with AF having just started I've decided to get stuck back into it next month - I figure 4 weeks will fly by and I want to make sure I'm as ready as I can be, even though the FS said I could start now. I have a couple of crazy weeks coming up at work and it will also give me the chance to hopefully lose a couple more kilos and be 'raring to go'! Fingers crossed!

    Marg

  4. #112

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    Hi Ladies,

    Thanks for all the encouragment. AF still hasn't shown but I did spot on and off last week. It stopped Friday. Am due Wednesday, so will keep you all posted.
    Suzi - wow...great great news...am so excited for you..
    Marz - excellent..so good to have a positive to look forward to
    Gargy - so glad things are working out for you
    So will report in when I know one way or the other..

    Lulu

  5. #113
    Lady_Bug Guest

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    Hey Ladies,

    Thankyou so much for this thread. I was wondering if anyone can point me in the direction of finding detailed information on SD. I am in WA and am not entirely sure it is legal. I would also like to be able to read about the process and expected cost. It is something i would dearly like to do as i feel i am at the right point in my life no matter how early into it.

    I thankyou all dearly for you support

    Tamyn

  6. #114

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    Default Omg Omg Omg...

    I am in shock. Ladies..I am pregnant.
    I cant quite believe it. I am trying to remain calm and take it one day at a time as I have a lot of hurdles to cross because of my age (and lots of tests up to 14 weeks), but will tackle them one at a time.
    Blood test yesterday showed high levels of HCG so right now looking like twins, but really have no idea (well I did have 2 embies put back as suggested by doc..and as the nurse said to me before the blood test results..be careful what you wish for!) Another blood test next week to ensure levels still rising then scan to see if any heartbeat can be detected.
    So like I said - long long way and still very early days.
    Tamyn - you need to go to your doc and get referred to an IVF clinic. Maybe do some ringing around first to see who uses donors. Unfortunately you will probably go on a waitlist as we all do as they are so rare these days. That's step number 1. I'd get onto it now as it could take a while..good-luck..
    I am not quite sure what to do now. I guess I have to leave this thread (sniff sniff) but am certainly not ready for the preggie one till the next few weeks pass.
    I will certainly keep an eye on this thread but hope not to be back permanently - if you get what I mean.
    So everyone..good-luck I will be thinking of you all - and I really mean that..

    best..Lulu

  7. #115

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    OMG Congratulations Lulu!

  8. #116

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    woohoo Lulu, that is fantastic news. When you said you had spotting last week but AF had not arrived, I thought it was sounding hopeful. I know what you mean about early days, it is really hard to get too excited when people give you the statistics for our age but I have a few friends that have had babies at 43. so try to enjoy this time - it is very special.
    Hope you get to leave here permanently but we want to see you back for visits. congratulations!

  9. #117
    Lady_Bug Guest

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    Oh Wow Lulu congrats!!! Make sure you do come back to visit and keep us all posted.. best wishes for everything!!!

    yay

  10. #118

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    Thumbs up

    Lulu!!!!!!
    Brilliant news - congratulations....you're PREGNANT!!!!!

  11. #119

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    Lulu

    I am so happy for you!! That is absolutely wonderful news! Enjoy each day!

    Love
    Gargy

  12. #120

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    Hi Lulu - that is WONDERFUL news. Here's to a happy and healthy pregnancy.

    Take care,
    Marg
    xoxo

  13. #121

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    Hi everyone (again),

    Is there anyone out there that is doing the whole DI thing, and either you or your husband is coping with an anxiety disorder?

    My DH has been recently diagnosed with GAD (general anxiety disorder). When my IVF counsellor heard about this she leapt on it, hence treating our sessions more like marriage counselling than infertility treatment.

    I thought I had got over her bad counselling but she has put in seeds of doubt about whether my DH is going to be able to cope with having a baby through DH. This has been compounded by our GP who is a very moralistic man and doesn't like the fact we are using DI, and my FS who was concerned that my husband has GAD.

    This lead to a very bad fight last night after DH said off the cuff "well with our luck we probably won't have a baby anyway".

    After many angry words, lots of crying and a very wise girlfriend pointing out that he was probably protecting himself just in case we go through all this and it doesn't work, things are getting back to normal. DH pointed out - who am I going to believe, people who have no experience in GAD, or his own counsellor that says he will be fine, and DH himself - who kept coming up to me after the fight was over telling me how much he wanted to have this child.

    Can anyone tell me in this position how they trust that it will be ok, and how they cope? I am trying hard to believe but I am frightened as DH has told me he is ok in the past just to have a meltdown a few days later. I thought about seeing his counsellor just to hear from an objective person how to cope. The stupid IVF counsellor has really rattled me.

  14. #122

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    Angry

    Dump the *$#&*!!! IVF counsellor Gargy. As I've said before, the way I understand it, it is her role to ensure you understand the rules and ethics of donor conception. That's all. She is not there to 'counsel' either of you unless you specifically ask her to.
    If you or DH feel you need to speak with a professional about anything, consult an expert in that field.
    My clinic knows I take antidepressants prescribed for clinical depression 3 years ago (I am currently weaning off them). That has never ever been discussed - not even a raised eyebrow. And I'm intending being a sole parent!

  15. #123

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    Thankyou all so much. I never realised how talking to a bunch of strangers would be so good for me - so thankyou all..
    As I said, I am taking it all one day at a time so will keep you posted.
    Gargy, for the record - I would also dump this counsellor. I think she is very very wrong in what she is doing and agree with SuziQ. It sounds like this one is causing more problems then you need.
    So thanks again lovely people...
    Next goal - blood test number 2..

    best...Lulu

  16. #124

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    Hi everyone,

    I've decided I'm going to go and see our other counsellor whose treating my DH for GAD and get my head around the issues involved with this. If I have knowledge the fear will dissipate. And I think this is the true problem, that it took DH so long to come around to the idea of having children using DI (roughly 5 years) that I am looking for any problem that will make him drop out again, despite the fact that he has told me over and over again that this is no longer an issue.

    I think the IVF counsellor, bad as she is, has been helpful in that she has brought this fear to the surface. No way am I going to let her handle any of this - I haven't seen her since the last time I vented on here - but I think I do need to do something about my fears. And the other counsellor is one of the good guys.

    Unfortunately we still have to tick off our group session at the clinic. As I see it, we have 2 options. If she is any good, we see the IVF counsellor in the city that our SD is using and bypass this one. The other option is that we go to her, manage her, and stick to the DI issues. I have already warned our SD about how bad she is. I'll let you know how it goes.

    SuziQ - you always manage to put things in perspective - thank you.

    Lulu - good luck with everything, thanks again.

  17. #125
    CarlaTTC Guest

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    hi i am carla, im 22 and my dp is 25. we have just recently had our first cycle and on EPU day i was sitting in the waiting room while dp had his TESA and was called in to say no sperm has been found and that they recommend finding a doner. dp is taking it realy hard and cant make up his mind. he wants children but cant seem to accept he has no sperm. do anyone have this trouble, if so, how did you deal with it. i love him and am commited to him (we get married in march 08) but i cant see myself as not being a mum. Worst of all he wont talk to me about it. instead he goes to work (he is a miner), manages to get blind rotton drunk and talks to one of the guys out there. im glad he is talking but i really want to be included because his decision will affect the rest of my life. any suggestions

  18. #126

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    Hi Carla,

    Yes I was in a similar situation. Getting drunk for a while, and talking to friends at work rather than me, were a few of DH's mechanisms for coping. I love DH dearly too and I tried to force myself to believe that I was ok with not having children, but in the end I felt that we had given up too early and DH was selling himself short.

    FInally I dragged him along to a very good counsellor (non IVF) who talked to him about the fact that biology had very little to do with being a good dad.

    You will need to get this sorted out as it has a pretty major impact on a relationship. It took my DH 5 years to turn around and want to go forward with DI (and we still have our bad days - see below) so the quicker you get it sorted out the better. Try the IVF counsellor at the clinic, or Relationships Australia, or a recommended counsellor from a friend. Keep in mind though that some counsellors are not as good as others - as shown by my experience (again see below).

    There are books you can read and societies you can join - but I would definitely recommend a very good counsellor as a first step, particularly as you are coming from different ends of the spectrum.

    HTH and good luck

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