Been there done that plenty of times to, I think it's important if it is one you really can not get out of going to to try and get yourself in the best headspace before the event easier said than done I know!! I don't really have any tips except I know over the past two years TTC I have surprised myself at the best of times coping when I did not think I would, It does not mean I did not go home after and fall apart sometimes but I still managed to keep myself together for the shower and for my friends really as at the end of the day it is not their fault we are having trouble TTC and I looked a little bit at the fact I would want them at my baby shower when it is my turn, just as they want me at theirs now.
Yep, i was there last year with my SIL. It was a horrible time. At the baby shower I tried to keep myself occupied. So helping with food etc. Anything that got me out of that room where everyone was rubbing her belly was better for me.
For the questions on when we were having kids or when we were having the next I used to tell them we had spoken about it and have decided when I turn X amount of years we were going to start trying. It was usually about 2 years away so it bought me some time without them hassling me too much.
Thank you again all of you wonderful Ladies. Serioulsy I could make an excuse but I think its probably best I keep well away from the stomach rubbing. And as its not my family only my other SIL and MIL and niece that are my family as such then it will be easier for me to leave early and not have to worry about the others. BUT if her rude family do ask me, I am going to use one or many of these excuse and lines that you have given me. Her family are the sort of people that would ask when is it your turn! They are so rude, so I think I just might be rude back depending on how I sleep the night before LOL. And its also the day I am due for AF..... Anyways I will keep you posted.
Thanks Again! Have a good long weekend
Well tomorrow is the big day! The SIL baby shower and just spend the whole night with her at a family function..... It is so hard especially with the bad AF pains I am suffering at the moment. Well wish me luck Gals. At least I have an excuse to leave early as I have to take my step daughter and husband to the airport as she is flying back to Sydney after a weekend visit!
Hey MrsA,
I am in the same position you are, my SIL is pregnant with her first. my DH and I have been trying for 5 years, we have 2 serious fertility probs. me endo him motility. My SIL and her DH dont spend much time together as he works away, so in the same month we went for our first cycle of ICSI they decided to try IVF. they got pregnant. We could not go through with insemination as I was too sick.
they are now 10weeks pregnant, and I am still recovering.
Even though your sisters baby shower has come and gone, I just wanted you to know that I feel for you. there is nothing harder than having to smile along with everything that is happening. if ppl ask you why you havent got kids yet tell em the truth, that will stop the questions just as fast as anything else.
good luck in the future, plse let me know how your doing.
I get scared/worried just thinking about the possibility that my little sister will get preg. SIL is preg - cope okay, but that's because I don't see her much.
What I find really hard is listening to, and reading all the negativity/complaining other people do about their children.
My BFF had her first (after 2 years TTC) in august, and has had a rough time with a colicy baby - but I'm sick of hearing her complain about how she just can't handle him screaming all the time.... to be perfectly honest I'd be happy just to have the baby. I'm making a pact to myself that I will try not to complain about my little one when he/she finally arrives!
I so resent her complaining, although I'm very happy for her and want to help/be around, I just can't bring myself to be there as much as she wants me to be.
I'm not sure she understands, although she has had her own trouble - she didn't have to start IVF, her little one was natural.
i feel crap if I am around too much, and I feel crap if I am not there.... all I want to do is just be selfish for a while and think about me. But I feel crap for being selfish... bah... hate myself sometimes. (not really - just a moment of negative headspace :P)
Hi Myturn,
I completely feel for you with what you are going through. But you know, at the end of the day you need to be selfish or you will go crazy. I had a lady at the bank the other day tell me how much she feels for me as we have been trying for so long and there she is with 2 kids she doesnt like~~~!!!!!!! WHAT THE??? Sometimes ppl just have no idea how lucky they are and its not until they are put in the same position you are in that they ever will.
Take some "you" time and dont beat yourself up for not wanting to be with with them all the time, you have your own life to lead, and your own problems to work through. you will only end up resenting them more if you just try to grin through it all.
Hope your october cycle brings you a beautiful, much longed for! baby. fingers crossed for you.
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and just spend the whole night with her at a family function..... It is so hard especially with the bad AF pains I am suffering at the moment. Well wish me luck Gals. At least I have an excuse to leave early as I have to take my step daughter and husband to the airport as she is flying back to Sydney after a weekend visit!
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