Jo it is hard to deal with hearing pregnancy when you don't expect it
if you frequent ttc forums - you understand you hear BFP but at work that would be a slap in face .

Jo no one can judge you because at the time you made the decision based on your life at that time. I believe never an easy thing.
You are brave opening up and it might help you forgive yourself. No one should live with this guilt . An abusive relationship would have been terrible to endure.

I haven't had to experience this but don't blame yourself or feel guilty - no one can know what might have happened. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. You can't change the past but look with hope to future.

All the very best withyour lap and baby/motherhood quest.