dearmum, i read you post and i hope that it will comfort you to know at least we all have thoughts like this. everything your thinking is perfectly normal. i can read that you are under extreme stress at the moment and this is the time that overwhelming wave of thoughts hit you... just like you said.. if it is positive it is a gift from God cause remember that no matter what any of us do (ivf) the end of the line is if you are supposed to have that baby you will and if your not you wont. I am sorry that sounds horrible, but trust me thinking about babies is not something any of us cant control... i have really learnt... after the 3 ectopics... and the tubal reversal and onto the third year and seeing all these pregnant women..... really lets me know that it is not something in my control. For me i pray.... I just hope you find something to relax....distract....
Thanks Luvchildren your so right,children are a gift from god and is out of our control what happens sometimes.Atm im going to just go with the flo and try not to worry about to much,let fate take its course,whatever happens i still love my life.I have 5 frozen babies in the freezer and i do feel its unfair just to leave them there so i owe them the chance of life.I have decided not to go ahead if those babies dont work out,i will take it as though it wasnt meant to be for me.
I really am thankful that i have 4 beautiful kids that are healthy,and that i had my angel baby,and a hubby that is so understanding most of the times...lol
I guess i stressed myself out for nothing,worrying about the unknown.
Thanks for your support,sometimes we all need that feed back.
Hows things coming along for you?
Will you be under going IVF?