Dear Soph & Nikki,
I am so very sorry to read of your losses of your precious babies. It is never easy & often unexplainable as to why it happened. However unlike you when I lost my son, Alex, earlier this year my u/s's were the other way around. He had a strong heartbeat but we knew because my waters had broken & he had no fluid left around him he stood no chance of survival. It is an absolutely heartbreaking event & even now thinking about him is enough to take my breath away with hurt. We thought we were past the magical "safe" 12wk mark (I lost Alex at 18w5d gestation) when it all went wrong.
Just let yourself be where ever you need to be emotionally & try not to put too much pressure on yourselves to return to "normal" too quickly. And as Pukeko said prepare yourself for how the medical world will classify your little one. It can be a heartbreaking moment to hear your baby spoken of without feeling. Know that to you it was always a baby & that is all that matters.
Take care of yourselves & feel free to rant, rave & vent here whenever you need it.