Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

[*Bree-Ana*]

Yes thank you Dianne.
I sometimes have days where i just wanna stay in bed all day but unfortnately i can't cause i have to keep on with my life.. So says my boyfriend.
At the moment its hard just going day by day when i know that as i progress onwards that my darling Elena will never have that luxory.

Uhm not so family and not many friends are being all that supportive.
Probably cause no one really approved of it.

Is it so wrong that i still am keen to have a baby at such young of an age??
Its hard to believe it was only 2 months and 2 days ago i had a baby and now i dont.
Its heart braking.

*Bree-Ana*

[lauren22]

Bree-Ana
regardless of age or how far along you were it hurts.
I know what you mean i miss my baby more and more each day and its hard to believe that almost a month ago my baby was ripped from me but all i can say is already it has taught me alot, i got my priorities in order.
Yes you are very young and i would suggest careful consideration but hey its your life and no one elses.
I really hope your ok.
Lauren

[*Bree-Ana*]

Thank you.
Most people just consider my age and say i dont know what i'm talking about but in actual fact i very much know what i'm talking about.

With everyday passing and missing her even more it hurts..
Sometimes i just want it all to end but deep down inside i know it will never happen.
With loosing Elena it gave me a reality check on my career pathway and i now know what i'm going to do with my life. Which is a bit of a relief.

I dont plan on having a baby anytime soon now.
I was just wondering if its normal to really want a baby at this age.
I mean i was rather over the moon when i found out i was pregnant and i really do miss being pregnant.

*Bree-Ana*

[pepe]

Hi everyone,

Im new to this web site, but as im sure you all can imagine..when you are disparate you go looking everywhere for answers.

I have lost a total of 15 pregnancies, the last one as recent as yesterday. As much as I am grieving I just want some answers. So if anyone can help...I thank you now.

I have had every test under the sun done, to be told there is nothing wrong with me...I beg to differ, there must be something wrong explain 15 losses???, Is there something Im missing??

I have been seen in the public system where my GP made a referral for me, however maybe if I went private my outcome would be different??, can anyone recommend a specialist on the Central Coast NSW?.

I realize that I may be grabbing at straws, I jsut want some answers.

Thank you all..x

[mariella]

Hello everybody,

new here, i suffered a pre-term labour and miscarriage at 17 weeks after my appendix burst. While recovering well physically, the emotions do take some time to even out.. and i just wanted to add my thoughts on grieving.

I think the difference b/w men and women here is that while men enjoy the here and now of being pregnant, (Yes, my wife's pregnant with our second, yes it's great) as women we project a future that is hard to grieve for - because it's in our head. After 12 weeks, or even earlier, you've already thought about the planned birth date - what that means in terms of existing family members - for example the age difference between mine would have been 2yrs and 4 months; how old she would have been when my son went to kindy (8mths), school (2 years 8mths) what we would have looked like going on holiday (exhausted)

So while i am still coming to terms with the fact that I'm no longer pregnant - I had begun to feel her moving, I find it harder to process the images and thoughts of what is no longer going to happen.... November due date, this Christmas with a new baby...

[JennaJayen]

Hi all, I've been on bb since october last year and have finally gotten up the guts to come on here - about a month ago I also got up the guts to list my angels in my sig.

I've lost 4 precious angels before 8 weeks, the first ended in a termination after it was found to be borderline ectopic and had serious abnormalities that would not allow it to survive. I had no support back then, being only 17. My doctor told me it my fault for being so young, that because of my age my baby had problems and hadn't implanted in the right place (which is stupid, anyone who has done VCE Units 1-4 in Biology would know that that isn't true) and that I wouldn't be a good mother because of it.
The second died after a car accident (I lost it 5 days later) and the other two had no explanation but could have been chemical pregnancies...

The last one was over 2 years ago now, and I have a healthy ds who will be 1 on the 23rd, which just goes to show that there is hope for those who have had mc's. DS is the light of my life, and brings me so much joy that I often forget my angels anniveraries, and when I do remember them I feel guilty that they aren't here, playing with their little brother.

With the first angel, my boyfriend at the time had been urging me to terminate even before we had the first scan and found out what was wrong. I still get angry at how happy he was after the d&c when he knew that he wasn't going to have to have all the responsibility of being a father. I still have no closure, even after helping others for years. I should be a counselor, I've helped that many people, all because I've been through the same thing.

I guess I've been holding it all in for so long now that I need someone to talk to about it. I give out advice to everyone on how to live/deal/manage with it, but never seek advice or support for myself when I'm having a hard time. I guess I've been channeling it all into helping others instead of helping myself. I'd love to have someone to talk to, both here on bb andvia txt when I need to, especially now that I'm ttc again.

[lozzy_mac]

Oops posted my story here without realizing the thread had been dead so long... Might find somewhere else to post it...

[damprye]

Oops posted my story here without realizing the thread had been dead so long... Might find somewhere else to post it...

I was hoping it would be a little more active also... I really want, no need advice... I am not sure if I am losing my baby, I am just over 7weeks, another week and I was announcing it in RL.

[JennaJayen]

Hi Damprye, I posted a bit before Lozzy_mac, and forgot about the thread.
If you'd like, we can talk a bit.
I hope your little one stays sticky darl, I'll be praying for you both!

[shereejoy]

Is this the current thread for support of a current m/c?

[damprye]

This is the current one, just seems like a rarrity that anyone posts sadly enough. I found posting my own thread to be better as I got responses that way. I felt so alone duriing that loss

[shereejoy]

So glad everything is working out for you this time Dampyre

[tellytubby]

I'm just so sad. Could really go a hug Anyone?

[Freya]

Tellytubby If you want to talk, feel free to pm me.

[tellytubby]

Thank you so, so much Freya.
I really just needed to know someone out there was with me... thank you.
I'm feeling so alone. I cant stop crying.
I had a d&c on wednesday. Just think its finally hitting me.

[Miss.B]

I'm so sorry tellytubby Wish I could turn it all around for you hun. Many hugs coming your way

[Miss.September]

Hey all

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post, I just don't feel like I fit anywhere at the moment. I'm NOT pregnant, let me just get that out there first! History is m/c in 08, DD in 09, m/c three months ago. DD's pregnancy started out the same way as the two m/c with spotting, but she held on. I had spotting on occasion throughout. We decided in Jan this year that we did want another baby, but are yet to succeed. I don't feel like I belong in the TTC groups, firstly I don't chart, or take my temp or anything (and half the time I have no idea what all the abbreviations mean ) and I am a little private about stuff like that too. But I guess I just need to feel brave. That there are other people who have that fear of it all going wrong, that paranoia that sends you to the loo every five and a half seconds to check that everything is okay. And that is has gone right. I know I have living proof in DD that it can go right, but right now I have so much doubt that she was a fluke somehow. Plus the addition of everyone around me going through their own private battles with TTC, I just don't want to talk about it - it doesn't feel right.

So I guess what I'm asking is am I in the right place? I need inspirational stories I guess to get me through. You know, when I had my first m/c, everyone told me that it was common with the first, so many women go through it. But now I've had two, well I feel like it's a different ball game again. I hope this makes sense. I'm just writing what I'm thinking and that's all a bit jumbled. Thanks for reading.

[tellytubby]

Hey mate, I know what you mean. When you have one, it doesn't feel as bad I guess, you're positive you will have a healthy pregnancy to follow. But after the second, you really do begin to question your body's ability. Everything us up in the air, and you're almost unsure if you even want to try again. I'm in the same place right now. So unsure if I should even try, as I'm not sure I could emotionally go through another miscarriage?
I have no idea what people talk about with all the abbreviations and technical talk too, so don't feel like you're the only one. So really don't think the ttc threads are for me.
With my ds, I had alot if bleeding... I mean alot. Seemed to be pretty constant until the 15 week mark, my dd I also had a small bleed, but that was a once off. So bleeding really doesn't mean the end. It really is a whole new level of paranoia once you've had a mc hey? You feel like you live on the toilet, live in fear.

At the moment I'm looking at it like a pattern. Healthy baby (dd), miscarriage at 9 weeks, healthy baby, miscarriage at 8.5 weeks, so next time I try, I must be having another healthy baby.. Right?
Maybe you could look at it the same.. Miscarriage, healthy baby, miscarriage, .... Healthy baby

It will happen Hun, unfortunately we may experience sadness again, and I hate that. But I really want this... I really want the privilege, the honor, of raising a third child. So am going to take the risk. It has only been 3 weeks since my d&c, so I am going to wait until af, then get serious with ttc. (get serious means nookie every other day, as I have no idea on the technicals!). I would happily be your ttc buddy in this thread

sucks hey? But I can't wait to read your BA next year xo