Hello everybody,

new here, i suffered a pre-term labour and miscarriage at 17 weeks after my appendix burst. While recovering well physically, the emotions do take some time to even out.. and i just wanted to add my thoughts on grieving.

I think the difference b/w men and women here is that while men enjoy the here and now of being pregnant, (Yes, my wife's pregnant with our second, yes it's great) as women we project a future that is hard to grieve for - because it's in our head. After 12 weeks, or even earlier, you've already thought about the planned birth date - what that means in terms of existing family members - for example the age difference between mine would have been 2yrs and 4 months; how old she would have been when my son went to kindy (8mths), school (2 years 8mths) what we would have looked like going on holiday (exhausted)

So while i am still coming to terms with the fact that I'm no longer pregnant - I had begun to feel her moving, I find it harder to process the images and thoughts of what is no longer going to happen.... November due date, this Christmas with a new baby...