Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

[Freya]

Chepie I saw lay it out for him. That you lost Hugh and while you are very very happy for them, for now you have to be selfish and worry about you; but that in a little while you'll be happy to give them what they need

[tellytubby]

Oh chepie sorry to hear your day was tough. You don't sound like a cow at all, we've all been there, and completely understand those feelings. One of the hardest things is , that every one else's life just moves on, while your swallowed in grief ... It really does rip your heart out.

I think I'm with freya on this one, you should tell them about Hugh, if you don't they're going to continue "rubbing it in", without even knowing that they're doing it, you know?

PAC- I didn't get a chance to reply to your thread earlier, and couldn't have the motivation to search for it now (on phone). But just wanted to say that yes, I do believe friendships run their course. It is unfortunate, but it does happen. Something very similar happened to us, we even bought a house 2 minute walk from At first, it was very awkward, but over time I've grown to not really care, and not invest so much emotion. I hope you can find peace in that your friendship is not as it once was.

Hello to everyone else. Mwah x

[Miss.September]

I'd probably let them know too, chepie. Let them know what you're okay with and guide them. I had to do it with SIL, I was fine talking about her pg - to a degree.

Telly - thanks hun. My supposed two closest friends forgot my birthday. And I even have one of them on FB where she would have had the reminder! (the one I was talking about today doesn't have FB). Today just brought it to the forefront of my mind. How are you going?

[diannescruffy]

Oh Chepie you don't sound like a cow at all. A few days after losing Emmanuel I was shopping and saw 3 pregnant ladies, it just brought me to tears and I ended up having to leave my trolley and get out. Sorry your first day at work was so hard.

Regards,
Dianne

[Freya]

Just a weird little woohoo; AF showed herself yesterday RIGHT ON SCHEDULE! I nearly fell off the toilet when I noticed lol She's being kind to me to, no cramps or anything and not really heavy. Which is good because I have a 2yo with a severe ear infection and tonsilitis so Im kinda stretched to my limit right now.

Hopefully she will keep on track now. Dh was no pleased to hear this last night because apparently he could be arriving home at a similar time to when AF would be due and he will be mighty unimpressed if he is barred from me for a week

[Miss.September]

LOL Freya, poor DH! Glad she's being kind to you Got my fingers crossed it continues without giving you any grief.

[tellytubby]

Oh freya!! That would realllly suck if she shows up as hubby arrives but good news that she's on time! We'll be suffering major morning sickness before we know it, ha!

Boring day here, mwah x

[dantri]

Chepie - hope you've come to a plan that your comfortable with. Hugs to you, you don't sound like a cow at all. I get it. I couldn't say congratulations or even talk to a family friend who is pregnant and due a few weeks after I was today. I just walked away and pretended I didn't see her. I felt awful but I just couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. Even though I'm happy for her.

Freya - big yay for things going to schedule. It's so nice after the crap our bodies put us through when they work properly. Hope she is kind to you.

Telly - with this beautiful weather, green landscapes and gorgeous wildflowers here at the moment it just screams nature and beauty and new life. I think it would be an absolutely awesome month to have a baby. Good luck, Christmas will be here before you know it.

Hope everyone else is going okay

I have a slightly TMI question for you all. Does anyone else feel different down stairs after a m/c? I'm not sure if even being pregnant for the short time I was (my first) could even change anything but it feels different while DTD and it felt wrong wearing a tampon when AF was here. Not painful just wrong and uncomfy like things have moved in there. I know the way I think and feel about my body is VERY different now so it could just be a mind thing but just wondered what everyone else thought. It's annoying too because "things" that have "worked" for us (while DTD) in the past don't seem to be doing so as much now. It's weird.


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[Alison1973]

Hi Girls - joining in here if it's ok.....I just suffered my 2nd early miscarriage in as many months, I'm 38, I have an almost 2 year old and desperately trying to give her a sibling before the darn body clock ticks over any more. I'm struggling with this one more than the first, I guess I never thought it would happen to me, I'm healthy and people tell me I don't look my age (not that that means anything I guess) and I fell within 3 months after going off the pill after 20 years with my daughter so expected it to be easy again. I'm seeing a fert specialist next month, due to my age after 6 months of trying they tend you recommend it, I think it might be a luteal phase defect as I track my cycles and have always only had an average of 11 days which is borderline anyway, but the last few months I've been getting AF after only 23 days, with a few days spotting first, as I ovulate on day 12 that's not so good. Just sick of everyone around me getting pregnant, all my mums group friends are all pregnant again, of course they're all younger than me but some of them got pregnant first go and weren't even fussed if it took 6 months. So unfair. Anyway, I hope we can all start to get some BFP's soon, we deserve it. I haven't read to catch-up everyone's posts yet but Dantri re the feeling different after a miscarriage, I actually have felt that way after having my daughter, I had an emergency c-section so not sure if that's had something to do with it but ever since I find tampons really irritating and only use them occasionally which sucks really as I hate wearing pads. Perhaps it's in our minds, who knows.

[Saffy]

Hi girls, I'm going to join here for a bit too. I'm in a few lttc threads but needing a bit of m/c support too.

Alison- I fell pregnant 1 month after we started trying, that was a blighted ovum and nearly 3 yrs later I have nothing to show for it but pregnancy losses and a drained bank account! ( oh, and a deranged mind lol). TTC in your late 30s is not for the faint hearted, thats for sure. Sorry to hear about your losses, I ovulate on CD12 too but since my 1st m/c my cycles have been varying lengths, I understand your frustration. I hope the FS can give you some insight!

Dantri- I haven't noticed any difference, we'd had a fair break from dtd when i was pregnant cs i was on progesterone supps and we were paranoid, but when we commenced again DH did remark it felt 'normal'- i laughed when he said that but maybe there is sometimes a difference.

I need to read back a bit before any more persies, so will get onto that.
I am just wavering between wanting to do another embryo transfer soon ( we have 2 frozen embryos left) or to try naturally for a few months, not sure what to do.
I'm only 2 wks post my m/c, so I probably shouldn't even be thinking about it yet but you all know what its like- we want to get UTD ASAP!

[Tascha]

Yesterday... My worst nightmare came true. I should be 11 weeks .. instead I've have my baby .. forever sleeping in me right now and to know it has been like that since 6.5 weeks ... Words fail me.

[Saffy]

oh hun..... so so sorry to hear that, its cruel xx

[Maruschke]

Tascha there are really no words. Sometimes life is just so unfair. Please know we care.

[dantri]

Big hugs tascha. It's just awful that we have to go through this.


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[Alison1973]

Big hugs Tascha, I'm so sorry for your loss xx

[Maruschke]

Hi Girls - joining in here if it's ok.....I just suffered my 2nd early miscarriage in as many months, I'm 38, I have an almost 2 year old and desperately trying to give her a sibling before the darn body clock ticks over any more.

...

I find tampons really irritating and only use them occasionally which sucks really as I hate wearing pads. Perhaps it's in our minds, who knows.

so sorry about your losses.

BTW - I hate pads too, but, I LOVE mooncups. Well worth a try. Doesn't suck you dry like tampons do.

[Alison1973]

Hi Maruschke - thanks so much, I shouldn't complain really, there are other people in sadder situations than me, but a loss is a loss no matter how early huh.

I should look into those mooncup things, I can use tampons, just don't find them as easy to get a comfy spot as I used to for some reason! We seem to be in a similar spot, my little girls is almost 2 as well and I had a m/c in June 2011 and Sept 2011. Let's cross our fingers we all get sticky ones next huh. I'm seeing a fert specialist in October, just got the paperwork, geez lucky we have no secrets eh, the questions they ask! Good luck with your IUI soon xx

[Diamond Girl]

Tascha, Alison, Marushke, Chepie and Saffy - Welcome. Im so very sorry for all your losses and that you have had to join this thread. I wish none of us were here.

Dantri - I felt different after my DS, so I guess pg does change our bodies, no matter how long or short they were pg for.

Freya - I hope your all feeling better now. I hope AF stays away when your DH returns.

Telly - I hope the next few months pass quickly so you can start ttc again.

Pac - Hi, I hope you are well.