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Thread: My worst nightmare came true...

  1. #37

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    Goldilocks, I want to send you lots of cyberhugs and prayers too, you did not deserve for this to happen at all and I don't think it was to make you a better parent - you would have been and will be a wonderful mummy. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hope you and your DH don't stay long back in TTC.


  2. #38

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    Oh Goldilocks my heart is breaking for you and Anthony at the moment. Your post is absolutely beautiful and I've wept with you.

    You deserve and will be the most fantastic mummy.

    You both will be in my thoughts and prayers. You are an amazing women and your strength is an inspiration to all of us.

    Love Dan.

  3. #39

    Join Date
    May 2004
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    WA
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    Dear Goldilocks,

    I am so truly sorry that you have experienced this loss. I dont know you but i do know that you did nothing to deserve such pain. I too lost my first daughter (also my first pregnancy and out first month of trying) , We went for a scan at 18 weeks and found out that despite previous scans going very well and hearing the heartbeat by doppler my little girl had passed away. There is nothing that can prepare you for the shock of losing a baby and i totally understand your feelings of reaching 12 weeks and it bringing no comfort and that it is just a number. You sound like you and your hubby are amazingly strong people who will help each other through this heartbreak. Someone once said to me that Katelyn's gift to us had been the strengthening in our love for each other and our bond (i just thought you have to be kidding we were already so in love and so happy) but it is true, help each other get through this terrible time and know that everyone on BB is here for you anytime. Go easy on yourself, there will be lots of different thoughts and emotions but you will go on to have a healthy baby in the near future and you will make great parents.

    Love Sarah xx

  4. #40

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Oh Goldi - i am sooooo sorry for u and Anthony...i am still crying for u both. I can't even begin to understand what u have been going through. i will be praying that the two of u are soon blessed with the perfect baby u desire...and because of this experience u will make an even more deserving and loving parent. It really is beautiful to se that u and Anthony have been drawn even closer together through this time. U both are in my thoughts and prayers

  5. #41
    Bessi Guest

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    I am so sorry for your loss. You are so right about appreciating every precious moment you're given after such a tradegy though. I lost my first baby and now have a 4 month old son and I pray for you and your husband that soon you too will know the comfort of your baby's cuddles and smiles.

  6. #42

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    tasmania
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    I am soo sorry to hear of your loss

  7. #43

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    Goldilocks,

    I understand all too well what you are going through. I had almost the exact same reasonings when it happened to me. I went on to have 6 pregnancies end in m/c and you are dead right that even after the first loss, you never go into another pregnancy thinking that it is all plain sailing. However, no-one is too lucky. And we are not punished by falling pg the first go and never knowing the heartache that others go through (I also feel pg first go). You didn't get dealt this rotten hand because you have it so good in other areas of your life. I know it's difficult, but try not to take away from the other great parts of your life. I too believe that things do happen for a reason - sometimes you may never know these reasons. But after 6 failed pgs, I can't believe that I was put through all that for no good reason.

    People that I personally know sometimes hear my story by the by and they comment on how much Pup was a wanted baby. Yes, absolutely. But that didn't mean that none of the others weren't wanted either! Do I think that I am a better mum because of what I went through? Maybe. And you will be too.

    I went through my first 3 losses without this support network. Rest assurred that there are people on here that totally understand and will support you in this time. I am so sorry for you and your DH. It is a confusing, emotionally draining time you are going through (both of you) and feel free to PM me with any questions about my experience if you want.

  8. #44
    MUMMY4LIFE is offline .: ~ Don't regret anything that ever made you smile ~ :.

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    Feb 2005
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    SA, Australia
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    So sorry, my thoughts are with you. You sound like a wonderful, loving couple...good things will come, I feel it in my heart. Take Care X

  9. #45

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    Sweetness, my heart goes out to you and your dh. I feel so much sadness reading what you have gone through.

    You are such a beautiful soul, may you find the strength within to move forward.

    xox

  10. #46

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    in the valley of cuddles with mountains of smiles
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    Goldi- my simple words cannot express the heartache I feel for you.All the wonderful ladies here echo my thoughts and feelings.I am so srry for your loss.

    Your post is beautiful and so moving.To the little one you had but never to hold in your arms only in your heart.

    I too lost a precious baby and the heartache remains deep after 22 months and returning to the place of her birth this last week with our newborn sons has been hard.

    The ultrasound will be etched in your mind (i too found out by ultrasound) and every other u/s I had during my recent pg I feared the worse.

    Be gentle with yourselves, grieve and cry as much as you need to. I know there is NOTHING I could possible say to ease your pain.

    Draw on your great personal strength as you continue this journey.
    with hope
    Trish

  11. #47

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Central Victoria
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    Goldilocks - I was also in tears reading your message. I don't think there's much more I can add except I know you and Anthony will make the most wonderful parents one day soon. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.

    Take care,
    Marg
    xoxo

  12. #48

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    OOOH, Goldilocks...
    I have no words to heal your heart... The girls have all said everything there is to say, my heart breaks for you & your hubby & your baby...

    I hope you find a new place to begin the journey of life together... You are both blessed to have eachother!

    Many hugs to you both!!!!

  13. #49

    Join Date
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    boronia- vic
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    Goldilocks

    I know your pain only too well- as do most of us here on BB. My 12 week scan revealed no heartbeat - bub dead at 6 weeks and 4 days. How do you put that into words and even worse how do you tell family and friends.

    You are so right when you talk about the loss of innocence - i had never heard of anyone having such problems in my world until it happened to me and my BB friends told me of their individual experiences knwong that there was someone out there that knew how I felt helped. Plse dont feel alone it sounds like you have the love of a good man. If you need to move then do it, concentrate on making you both well again. The mental scars are worse than any physical ones. After my D and C I just sat on my couch for 10 days no shower no nothing ( poor DH) in my PJ's. Refused all those reaching into my void to try and help me with empty words.

    I will be thinking of you
    It does get a little easier as the months pass - allow yourself the time you require to grieve
    Huge hugs to you both
    XXXXXX

  14. #50
    tiggy Guest

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    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
    There is nothing that I can say to make it better. It's hard and unfair.
    I hope you find strength and peace in this sad time.

  15. #51

    Join Date
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    Apparently in about 7 months I will be a qualified midwife - yikes!
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    Dear Goldilocks,

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I cannot begin to understand your pain, but I hope and pray that life will bring you and Anthony a little miracle soon!

  16. #52

    Join Date
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    Goldilocks, I know exactly how you feel. We discovered on Tues during an emerg. ultrasound that I'd had a missed miscarriage. I can't get that image out of my head. I had a d&c on Wed also - a very long day. I don't think I have any tears left. I'm sure we will get pregnant soon - as soon as we're allowed anyway, but it doesn't change the fact that I want to be pregnant now! I would have been 12 weeks on Monday. To think that my baby died and I didn't even know it. I also felt that something wasn't quite right, but I didn't confide in anyone, not even my husband. I didn't get too attached, and I felt funny whenever someone asked about "bubs". I can't explain it, just mothers' intuition I guess. My poor husband has been wonderful too, we are so lucky to have them! Just take care of yourself and think to the future, it will all work out for you, I'm sure.

  17. #53
    Bella&AleishasMum Guest

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    Your post had me in tears and its really hard for something to make me cry. I experienced this last year and its so devasting when you go for an ultrasound and there is an empty sac, but i was like you. Somehow this pregnancy didnt feel right from the beginning and we were having a hard time deciding whether we should announce it or not. Eventually we did, and the night we did, thats when I started bleeding.....thats when i knew.

    I know you both deserve a little cherub of your own, and I know you will in the near future. I just want to let you know that im sorry for your loss.

  18. #54

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    Goldilocks, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and you DH. I wish there was someway I could take away all your pain. My heart always sinks when I see a new post about a much loved and wanted baby becoming an angel. Again I am so sorry.

    Please know we are all here for you. :hugs:

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