Dear Pukeko,
Congratulations on how you dealt with your friends baby situation, you should be really proud of yourself. I know in my situation my younger brother had a baby boy just a couple of weeks after we lost Alex & my DH & DS went up to visit them when he was about 5wks old. I thought I would be a mess & so did my DH, however I was really good while we were there, but after we left I was a mess. Each day brings so many different experiences to either cope with, learn about, or be amazed by how we deal with them. I found that I learnt a lot about myself & my relationship with family & friends after we lost Alex. Hopefully you are going ok & things are continuing to look up for you.
Sending :hugs: your way & warm thoughts.