I used to have something along those lines in my siggie. "Everything happens for a reason" does my head in. No, everything doesn't happen for a reason. Anyone who thinks so can explain those reasons to me.

People don't feel comfortable with choas and uncertainty. It makes them feel better to think that there's some overall plan or reason for things. I can understand that. It would be easier for someone to blame or to know that if I suffer X, I will be rewarded with Y. IMO, that's why religion was invented (I am not going to debate religion at all - that is my opinion only).

Bad things happen to good people all over the world, all the time. Life is choatic. I don't believe there is a reason for anything at all except that life creates life and that death is part of the lifecycle. My babies didn't die so I can become a bloody saint. They didnt die so I can become bitter and twisted and resentful either. They just died. How I deal with that is up to me. A living child is not going to 'fix' anything except for the fact I don't have a living child. That's all.

There is no fix or reason for your babies dying. That doesn't mean their lives had no meaning though. In their short lives and after, they have affected so many people.

As for the happy ending stories. They sell. No one wants to buy the magazine or book that tells the story of the grieving parents who lost a baby or two, and were never able to have living children but just got on with their lives, trying to live with the pain. People want to buy the story about family who 'moved on' and had a living child and everyone lived happily ever after. That's just human nature. People want to hope and nothing respresents hope like a new baby. It's just that most people don't understand that getting on with your life, new baby or not, does not mean leaving your angel babies behind. They are with us always.

Sorry to hijack your thread.