i keep coming back to this thread because it's interesting to read the responses (esp from posters with older/more than one child) but also because i'm still not 100% where i stand on it all.

i guess we are all shaped by our own experiences and my parents did not smack or use something like time out/naughty spot. so, ime, this approach worked. but i'm not sure whether i was just lacking in spirit (& i am an only child) or whether the approach really worked. my mum says that she feels when i was small the tendency was to crush a child's spirit to get them to comply & now there is more freedom for a child to express themselves. so that leaves me wondering - if my child has more spirit, will i need additional measures in order to help curb undesirable behaviour.

so i'm still not at a conclusion but, at the moment, a lot also has to do with DS' personality - for example, he may push me & rather than a punishment i tell him that i know he loves mummy but this is not how we show someone we love them. he usually gets a little upset & then wants to give me a cuddle. i figure that at this point something like pushing is largely about eliciting a response and so i don't want to react too much. i have friends who automatically look to do a time out sort of thing in the same situation or in response to an 'i want tantrum' but that just doesn't sit right with me at the moment.

sorry for the ramble - kudos if you have actually read this far! i just had to try & get some of these thoughts out of my head!