Do you do time out or the naughty spot?

[fromscratch]

I disagree. Chairs and time outs do not apply to adulthood for undesireable behaviour at all. For instance, I've had employers who have behaved very badly indeed. One of them broke equal opportunity and discrimination laws, as well as flouting OHS laws. He didn't get a chair, didn't get timed. I had to pursue him all the way into the EOC with his lawyer in tow and we had 'long-winded' discussions about what he did wrong, with a mediator. He's behaved very badly before and no-one dared take him to task until I did, and no-one stuck their neck out to support me, because in real life people get away with very undesireable behaviour. Real life as an adult is not prepared for by time outs to think about what you did wrong - most of the time you watch people be treated unfairly and then hope like hell you're not the next target, so you keep a low profile, trying to keep out of the firing line and watch power-hungry people disempower other people who are trying to make the world a better place for everyone else, and wishing you had the nerve to do the same, if you weren't so afraid of the 'consequences' to your personal circumstances.
Being afraid of punishments (fallout, retribution, demotion, redundancy, pay-cut, cut in hours, exclusion from social circle etc) is not what being a brave adult in the real world is about. I guess I decided I want my kids to negotiate their terms with the world, so I allow them to negotiate with me - the only hard and fast rules I have in our home are about firearms (we have guns on our farm), moving vehicles, animal welfare and bodies of water. Everything else, pretty much, is negotiable as it hones in those reasoning skills and gives them a sense of control over their own destinies. Pretty confronting to a lot of parents, I concede. It's not the easiest way to parent, either - the brain gymnastics are pretty constant! I know it's not for everyone.
Just had to disagree, rather emphatically, with the idea that time out, chairs, 1-2-3's etc prepare children in any way for the adult world. To me that does not have a logical flow. I am yet to see the connection between the adult world and these constructed consequences. JMO.

Noone was going to take him to task but you did. He finally learned that there are consequences to his actions. Even though it was difficult and time consuming you stood up and said "what you have done is not acceptable behaviour"
As for not being able to stand up when you see the wrong things happening to someone else is not an issue or problem for me I stand up and stick my neck out, make my oppinion heard and defend the little guy who is being hard done by, but thats me. I refuse to let a bully walk over me or anyone else in my vacinity. Worring about my own position in life or my circumstances is the furtherest thing from my mind when I see someone being bullied. May have something to do with me being rather bullied as a child and not even my mother would try to stop it. Wrong and so sad, I will not let that happen while I'm around. Stand up, stick your neck out, there are other jobs and do you really want to work in such an environment anyway? Not me. Social circle.....I don't want friends like that either there are plenty of other people out there to make friends with who will be "real friends".

But you know it's easier to turn away and not get involved in someone elses problems even though you can see they need help.