Funny things kids say & do

[ll80]

RoFL Kitten and PB!!

DD has said a few embarassing things.
One that sticks out was when I was at the checkout in the chemist, was pretty busy.
DD1 decides to break out in song
"I kissed a girl and I liked it, tastes like that cherry chapstick"

What could I do but giggle lol, all the oldies standing behind me had a look of shock/horror on their face lol

[Mama2two]

I got embarrassed this week. We were at Subway ordering our food in line up and there was an ambulance officer with a bit of a pot belly paying at the counter. DS says ( in his loudest voice ever) "Mum does that ambulance man have a big baby in his belly like you?"
I was so embarrassed all i could muster up was "no, but hes got a big ambulance!" shame...

[Glamourcide]

When I was about 3 mum and I went to Sydney and were walking down the street when I saw a black man and I'd obviously never seen a person with that colour skin before. I started pointing at him and saying 'Mum, look at that man, he's dirty' 'Why is he so dirty' 'But mum look how dirty he is'. LOL. Mum quickly crossed the street.

LOLOL omg that reminds me of DD seeing DH's workmates... there were a couple of lovely Indian blokes (with the very, very dark skin) who worked at the scrapyard DH works at a few months back... they are really family-oriented and love babies to death, so one day when I took DH his lunch, DH asked us to come sit in the tearoom with him so his workmates could meet DD. This was... oh, maybe around the time of her first birthday? So quite small.
Anyway, we went down into the tearoom and sat at the table, the Indian lads were just delighted with DD - but she was petrified of them! They were offering her bits of their apple and putting their hands out for her to come for a cuddle, but the more they looked at her and tried to talk to her, the more she screwed her face up in a panic and eventually just burst into tears and clung to DH... I was so embarrassed, but it truly just was the fact that DD hasn't seen a person with skin so dark before, let alone people who don't speak English very well!!
The next time we saw them was when DH gave them a lift home one afternoon, she remembered them this time and was happy to go into their home with DH and meet all their housemates (who insisted on feeding her everything they had in the fridge and they probably would have kept her if DH had given them the okay lol, I don't get why they love babies so much?!). So it was all good lol.

Oh, and I remember constantly embarrassing my mother as a kid because I had no fear of heavily tattooed people (which, 15 or more years ago, tended more towards bikies etc rather than just random people these days who get inked)... I would see some huge, bearded guy walking down the street and notice he had tattoos, and would run up to him to touch them and ask him 'did they hurt?' 'do they wash off?' 'when can I get some?' 'do you have a picture of a butterfly/fairy/kitten/whatever I was into?'... my mother would grab my hand and drag me in the opposite direction (she's pretty sheltered lol), I still don't know why she's so surprised that I've got tattoos :/ Obviously I've always liked them!

[Jewel]

When DS1 was little he farts while we were out and thought he'd let us know very loudly
"Dad, I just farted" with a big grin on his face. I only saw one person laughing cause I wasn't game enough to turn around to see the reaction of the people behind us.

This other time he was so fascinated by the quit smoking ads on tv, and he used to point out to strangers while we were out and tell them all about why they shouldn't smoke and say "you'll get green feet".

[*Efjay*]

aw, Just today Glenn dropped his dacks & pee'd in the middle of the sports oval at school in the middle of the schools cross country race!
I don't think the kid had been tot he toilet this morning so it was a rather big wee too. I was rather embarrassed but what could I do? He just kept weeing and weeing and weeing!

[{sarah}]

Zander's quote for the week....

"Mummy when you drink milk does it go to your boobs and not your tummy?"

Heehee!

[{sarah}]

He cracks me up... You ask him where his drink goes & he tells you it goes straight to his penis! No stomach, just mouth to penis LOL!

Oh oh & he made up a joke last week (seems like he has a bodily functions thing happening at the moment).

How do cars do wees?
With oil! (and he bursts out into a histerical fit of laughter!)

[AmandaJ]

Wyatt who is all of four, said to me last night "mummy, I'm giving my baby (stuffed zebra) a drink", I looked over to see him with his shirt up and b/fing his baby, he then went on to pretending to change it's pooey nappy and wiping it's bum and putting a new nappy on. Was very cute, hopefully he will make a good daddy when he gets bigger

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Here's one from DS:

Liebling: The chickens. They don't know.
Me: The chickens, they don't know?
Mr A: Sounds like.
Liebling: They don't know. The chickens don't know.
Me: What don't they know?
Liebling: Mmm, lunch. Mmm, chicken.

Good he has his food chain sorted already I suppose.

[LimeSlice]

pmsl these are great!

Charlotte has taken to running free range lately, will get her nappy off no matter what we do short of using safetypins lol
So we end up with quite a few wees on the floor, much to DHs dismay lol So he will go and get a nappy booster and put it on the floor and stand on it, and clean up the wee form the carpet...

Apparently Charlotte has been taking notes, and now, quite without prompting, will wee, then go and grap the closest thing she can find (usually clothes ) and proceed to put it on the wee and stand on it!...Then comes to me and pointing madly says "Weeeees!! Weeeeees!!" and then runs off again!

ah gotta love it

[Erin_25]

we share plates of food once a week at playgroup, this on particular day a littl girl told me "these are mine" refering to the plate of pikelets they had bought with them. When I asked "ooooh, did you make them".....she without missing a beat & in the loudest voice she could find "nah, there just out of a packet"! too cute.

Same child a couple days later, again with massive loud voice announced to her mum infront of all us at the play cafe "Mum, I need to pee"! she's a cracker this little girl, so cute & straight to the point.

[SophieRose]

She sounds like my stepdaughter Paige, never afraid to raise her voice to get herself heard. Not afraid of anything or anyone, except a revving car.
Dp wanted to see if the high flow airfilter would make the supercharger louder on his commodore so he revved it loudly a few times, poor little Paige, i think she made it the 12 metres across our yard to the back door in about .25 of a second with a look of sheer horror plastered on her face.

[Glamourcide]

Liebling: Mmm, lunch. Mmm, chicken.
Good he has his food chain sorted already I suppose.

LOL that one's classic
DD's daycare centre had one of those baby animal farm things come a few weeks ago... we were in the pen, patting the cow and sheep and goats and chasing the piglets, and one of those fluffy chickens walked past... I pointed at it and said to DD, 'Look, bubba, it's a chooken!' and she started rubbing her belly and saying, 'Yummy, yum-yum!' like she does when I put chicken in front of her
I don't think she understood the connection, but I nearly fell over myself laughing



I thought of another good one the other day, courtesy of my brother. When we were kids, we were out somewhere with mum and dad when they ran into some friends. One of the friends pointed at my brother and said to Dad, 'Oh you can't half tell he's yours,' and Dad replied (jokingly, obviously), 'Nah, he's not mine!'
Nobody noticed that my brother was very quiet and withdrawn for the next few days, until he climbed into Dad's lap one evening, looked up at him with that puppy-dog face, and said, 'You *are* my dad, aren't you Dad?'
We still fall about laughing every time the story gets brought up... to think that he was wondering for three days about whether his beloved Dad really *was* his dad... and how cute when he asked hahaha Sometimes we just don't give kids enough credit for knowing what's going on around them lol!

[Turkish Delight]

I was telling my DS how proud i was about how neat his writing was in his homework book, when my mum (aged 62, with very limited English) asked what proud was? So i told her in Turkish. My DS (being the smar alec), threw himself on the floor laughing as to how grandma didn't know what "proud" meant.

I replied that it wasn't nice making fun of people and that up until 1-2 years ago, he didn't know what it meant either.

His reply was "Yeah, but i wasn't 62 when i found out what it meant"

I found that very amusing and a very smart comment for a 7 yo.

[Antheia]

Everytime DS1 has a drink now he HAS to have a BLUE straw. If i give him a pink one by accident, he flies off the handle screaming 'no no no no' at me. I find it hilarous that he hates the colour pink lol! Such a boy.

[{sarah}]

"Mummy if you pick your nose your head will cave in and if you have no boogers, your head will cave in & you will die."

(just in general not to me specifically!)

[LucaJack'sMum]

DS 2.5 Y.O was in the bath the other night and looked down at his penis which had a bit of fluff on it and comments 'theres fluff on my tail!"

TOO FUNNY!!!!!

[sazzafrazz]

That fluffy tail story is pretty cute.

Last night my friend was holding her 2yrold on her hip when I stood close to talk to her. Miss 2 pointed straight at my (rather large) boob and said "Mummy, too big!"

I had to agree. they ARE too big for my liking! Friend was rather embarrassed