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Thread: Funny things kids say & do

  1. #433

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    Dh bought a beach buggy and after a LOT of pleading DD has came to like riding along (she was scared of the loud enjine noise) So yesterday we got into our super-cab Ford and dd were looking at the roof:

    Me: Hon, what are you looking at
    DD: You have to take off the roof
    Me: Excuse me?
    DD: I can't feel the wind in my hair



    Miss smarty-pants.

  2. #434

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    DH was holding DD2, who was hungry. DD2 started trying to suck on DH. DD1 said 'New baby, don't eat Daddy. Eat Mummy instead.'

    I love how their little minds work

  3. #435

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    DD1 told me this morning that if she drinks all her water she'll grow up big like Mummy, then she can drive the car

  4. #436

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    I was teaching my DD all the politically correct names for male and female bits and she became quiet obsessed with talking about them...
    We had a few interested conversations...

    1. (While watching a Wiggles episode about the Great Wall of China)...
    DD: Mummy... whats that?
    ME: Thats the Great Wall of China
    DD: Hmm... The Great Wall of Vagina.



    2. (While hanging out with her Nanna)
    DD: Nanna, what are those? (pointing at a box)
    NANNA: Those are Chocolate covered peanuts, darling...
    DD: CHOCOLATE COVERED PENIS?!!!

    (Needless to say, my mother laughed so much she nearly wet herself!)

    3. DD walked into the bathroom whilst my DP was having a shower..
    She promptly walked out to me with a worried look on her face and blurted out:

    'Mummy, where has S****'s vagina gone?!'



    She just cracks me up ALL the time!

  5. #437

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    Talking SOOO funny... not wearing glasses!!!!

    Adam wears glasses 24/7.

    I was just showing Zavier (3) the new baby Apple snails in the fish tank, and he commented on how big the parents were. I said to him, which one is the mummy, and which one is the daddy????

    He pointed to the closest one and said, " Well he isn't wearing glasses, so it must be the mummy,the one up the back must have glasses, so he is the daddy"!!!!!


  6. #438

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    He really is gold this child!!!

    I told him that the snail couldn't wear glasses, and he said "Oh yeah, they would get all wet anyway"!!!!
    As though getting them wet was the only reason a snail cant have glasses....

  7. #439
    paradise lost Guest

    Default Out of the mouth of my babe....

    Crazy things come out of DD! Hilarious things that leave people gobsmacked and leave me rolling laughing!

    As a pre-empt she is a bit autistic in some ways (a lot of my family are though so it's not a surprise and so far it's not a problem) so i think she might be more literal even than most normal nearly-4 year olds...

    A few weeks ago we were at the museum, and DD was near a large floor sticker with the solar system on it. A member of staff, obviously paid to engage the kids, said to her "oooh, look at this big ball here!" and DD replied "Do you mean Jupiter?" I didn't know where to look! LOL.

    We were at friends and their dad had out a paper with an article about a local science park with a planetarium, and DD and he were looking at the pics. He pointed to something and said "see all the tiny lights" and DD SNORTED and said "yeah, that's a galaxy". He turned and said to me "how much does she charge by the hour?" LOL.

    We were on the bus and DD was showing a fellow passenger her bedtime teddy. The old lady said "oh i'm very cold, do you think he is cold?" pointing to the toy, and DD replied "i doubt it, he's just a soft toy, he's not got any blood".

    And one last little funny, on our morning walk this morning we passed a place that makes headstones. DD LOVES looking at them, and so she likes to stand and gaze through the fence. She said to me "mama, i like gravestones, can i have some little soft one's for my bath?" and i said "um, i don't know if they make those!". A little silence and then "i love graves mama, yeah and gravy!"

    Bx

  8. #440

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    Oh love it.. Espcecially the teddy bear/cold/no blood one!!

    My much younger cousin has mild autism and comes out with some beauties similar to your DD's! He tends to think literally also.. very blunt, upfront and doesn't recognise social cues. Most of the things he says are retold as we live in different states .

    I did however get to hear first hand a few about 18 or so months back when we lived closer I had taken him to my relatives (other side of the family) pasta making shop. My uncle has a thick accent and is quite difficult to understand at the best of times so when he started to talking to Jacob (my cousin) Jacob turned to me and said "Does he not realise English is my first language, can you translate please or get him a chalk board to write the words down?" Um my uncle was speaking English..

    The pasta making machine is fascinating, espeically for someone like Jacob who really gets a kick out of finding out how things work. My uncle said to him "So you like this machine, you can help me make pasta when you are older" to which Jacob replied "When I am older, you will be dead" harsh but quiet possible!

  9. #441

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    hello everyone
    I really enjoyed reading the other posts. Thankyou!

    My DS1 when he was 5yrs old went to visit an elderly neighbour she had been in hospital. He asked her how she felt, she replied "50 / 50" my son's reply "I never asked your age?"

    My DS2 the other week told me he loved me, I replied "I love you more" His reply was "I love you larger then a rainbow" my heart skipped a beat.

    xx

  10. #442

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    Talking Has to laugh... she looks so cute yet so funny!!

    DD has been fighting her sleep all morning. I just went in to check on her and shes thrown everything out of her cot - pillow, toys everything. She's stripped the sheet of the bed and is sleeping curled up on all fours on the vinyl mattress!!

    She looks so cute yet sooooooo funny!!

  11. #443

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    Default Just a DS moment to make you all laugh

    My son was singing along to the radio today...

    "I'm vacuuming the dance floor;
    I dancing round the sound".....

    not "Evacuate the Dance Floor....."

  12. #444

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    DS stripped off this morning and wouldn't get dressed - it's REALLY cold so I told him I was going to hit his bare bottom every time I saw it, asking "who's got a little bum?" DS likes this, but not for more than a few goes (so I managed to get SOME clothes onto his bluing body).

    He walks up to me a couple of hours later. "Who got a little bum? I got a little bum." "That's right dear. You've got a little bum." (I pat his bum.)

    DS thinks and looks around the side of me. "You got a big bum."

    NO! That's NOT what you tell a woman! Had to tell him that with a straight face, which was not easy.

  13. #445

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    My parents (Oma and Poppy to DD) are both cyclists (the lycra wearing kind), and go out riding early morning a couple of time each week.

    Anyway, DD and I were driving to their house the other day to pick mum up to go shopping, and DD went, "No, Oma's not home, she out riding on her Poppy!"

    I laughed so hard I nearly drove off the highway.

  14. #446

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    Oh Ali that is very funny!!!

    We have both showered with DD for some time but she recently decided to shower standing up so that her face was very near to my girly bits.

    She pointed and said "Gina"
    I said, "Yes, that's my vagina"
    to which she replied "Mmm, it's nice!"

  15. #447

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    these are great! I'd forgotten about this thread!

    The other day miss-almost-three was in the bath and I started washing her face - she promptly yelled "Dont wash me! I'm a princess!"

    Yesterday we were at the shopping centre and were sitting just in front of Baker's Delight. DD#1 stares at the shop for a bit then says to me (pointing to the lady behind the counter) "How did she get IN there?!"

  16. #448

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    These are great!

    When I was a kid we would pass by a very popular chain diner that served burgers. We couldn't go there after my brother learned the name, and mom would go out of her way to avoid driving by the place cause Rudd*uckers was all he could talk about for DAYS after! (and of course dad would take every opportunity drive the route that allowed us to see it)
    (appropriate title- Fuddruckers - I think there were some up in QLD a while back).

  17. #449

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    DD once asked for something that she didn't get straight away (can't remember what it was). DH told her how proud he was that she was being so patient. DD's reply: "I'm not patient, I'm a little girl."

    I once told DD that she was a great toddler, to which she replied with great seriousness: "I'm not a dollar, I'm a girl."

    Recently DD has taken to going up to the parents of children she meets in the playground and asking: "What are your children's names?"

  18. #450

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    i love stories!!!

    Heres mine:

    DD (8yo) was riding her bike a couple of days ago, and decided to stand up and pedal, slips (obviously hurts herself) JUMPS off her bike and says (while holding herself) "OH MY NUTS!!!!!" - I couldnt control my laughter and said "darl, we havent had this conversation yet, but girls dont have nuts, boys do" she then says to me "I KNOW THAT!!" I was cracking up even more by this stage and I said to her "Well obviously you dont cos girls dont have nuts" she then says "Well EVERYONE says it?!"

    I have no idea where the heck she got tha from, cos DP certainly doesnt say things like that!

    God Love em all!

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