My DD 'talks back' and I am happy about it!!

[Heaven]

Kaz- yes, my DD will do the same! If I am frustrated at her and snap at her she will tell me 'You don't speak to me like that, that was not a very nice voice'. Or she has told me 'it makes me sad when you do that'. And I love that she tells me these things. I love her to tell me if I'm doing something wrong and how it makes her feel because maybe I don't even notice if I'm feeling frustrated and I can apoligise and do better.

Its the talking back that you seem to welcome (which to me she wasn't really doing). Talking back, to me, is a child back chatting with disrespect. Your DD was letting your DH know she'd been hurt & that scene would've pretty much played out the same way in my house.

Maybe I just used the wrong words? Talking back to me in a way that is disrespectful is not on, and I don't talk to them that way either. But telling me how they feel even if it's to disagree with me or tell me that I've done something that they think is wrong is totally ok with me and welcomed.