I bought SOS and Gina Ford's Contented Baby Book (similar philosophies) when I was pregnant with my second child as I had a 9 year gap between my 2nd and 1st babies and I felt like I needed help to get back into the swing of things. I knew that i wanted to be better prepared and these books seemed to promise that if I followed the routines everything would be perfect.

Baby arrived and in the first few weeks I didn't follow any routine... instinctually it felt "right" to establish trust with my baby by meeting all his needs as lovingly as possible as each need arose. So I BF on demand, co-slept and wore him alot.

After about a month I picked up the books and tried to follow the routines... but so little of it fitted into what we were doing. I felt that if I followed the routines my BFing success could be threatened. I did loosely adhere to the sleep/nap/tummy time schedule but I refused to wake my baby regardless of when he had drifted off... that just didn't make sense to me... who would wake a sleeping baby after only 15 minutes to fit into a routine???

So the books eventually gathered dust until I discovered BB. Through BB I discovered Pinky McKay's books and The Science Of Parenting. These books became my trusted reference books if anything started getting tricky.

I think the whole thing gets back to TRUST. You can have a baby that fits in with your life-style instead of visa versa but maybe the price is their trust? I know that my mother is a big advocate of children learning to fit in with the needs and requirements of the parent. She tries to drill this into me every phone call. I have never had the heart to tell her that the relationship i have with my children is closer that the one we had as mother and child. Maybe because I learnt early to silence my protests

I think it's ok to read any book about parenting. All information serves a purpose even if to only confirm how you don't want to do things. Once you make up your own mind though it's also better to let other people draw their own conclusions as well... more respectful. I recommend books but I don't say "You MUST read this"... instead I say "I found this really helpful/unhelpful". I believe that a good parenting guide will always remind the parent to trust their instincts. Humans are not machines... there is so much that constitutes a relationship between mother and child that cannot be put into words.