To be completely honest

[Lulu]

Hun, are you reading up? Are you arming yourself with knowledge?

[Visitor7]

Hun, are you reading up? Are you arming yourself with knowledge?

What Lulu said! Grab a few books and DVD's and start getting prepared. You really need to understand and realise what is about to happen. You don't want to go in there with no knowledge at all of what's happening, and not get the birth you want. You may not realise now what you want, but afterwards, you'll be wishing you had of prepared a little better.

[MummyTummy]

Have you thought about Hypnobirth or Calmbirth? They arm you with the knowledge and help you understand and relax with your thoughts and feelings on it all. It does cost a bit, but it will help both you and your partner and is well worth it in my opinion. Another tool for the toolbox IYKWIM!

[blackduckies]

I had a private midwife at my first DD birth, well worth it. i trusted her completely and she was very supportive. It was long and difficult but I did really well i thought. Every bub since then has had its good points and bad points, intially when labour starts I have been excited but soon afterwards felt overwhelmed, I have labours with a lot of back pain and its hard to get relief...my last 3 have ended in emergency CS...I would like to hire a doula but with the chances of CS high on the cards it seems a bit pointless.
This baby was not planned and labour ( well actually birth.. however... CS is more scary than natural birth for me) would be one of the reasons high on my list of not wanting to do it again. But I have to!!!!! EEEEKKKKKK

[blackduckies]

The girls are right !!! the times when i have felt the most overwhelmed were when I had the feeling that I did'nt have much support in the room, either i did'nt gel with the midwifes or they seemed really young or a bit like they were waiting for shift to end?? My DH is caring but he finds it hard to be assertive and would take their opinion as gospel assuming that they know what they are doing(cause its their job). I have had my mum in during the labour on 2 occasions, that was helpful cause i knew that she would do whatever it took to get it done, whatever "it" was, plus she has done it before on a few occasions and well!!!

[AliBaby]

hun

I remember feeling like you were duing my pregnancy but I got past it by educating myself on as many different births as possible.

I didnt have a drawn out birth plan as I had no idea how my body would cope with it. What I did do was trust my body that it could do it. I trusted my DP, I trusted the 2 midwives who were supporting me and helped me to birth DD. It is a leap of faith but you need to stay as positive as you can.

The last few weeks before I had DD I think i read every single birth story posted on BB! I gathered so much inspiration from all of the stories, each different and individual but all very miraculous.

I did read up on hypno birthing as well but to be honest the main thing I did during labour was positve self talk. I was saying to myself over and over again "Its okay, Its okay, its okay". I truly believe this helped me.

Keep talking and asking questions to all the lovely BB people out there as it helps lots

[lauren22]

I sit here completley drenched in tears
I am so thankful I have so many ideas now but I have another question...
DF is sitting here with me and id just as scared as I am and we wonder how we can help him be really incorperated with preparing for labour with me?

[AliBaby]

Do you have other friends who have had kids???

DP didnt want to go to classes and neither did I so we chose not to do them.

Instead DP spoke to a few mates who had had children and were there for the birth and told him what to expect how he could be supportive, what not to do, etc.

Do you think your DF could do that?

to you both. You guys are going to be fine. Just concentrate on your precious miracle that you will get to hold and snuggle and kiss and fall in love with like you have never loved before! Its amazing!!

[Lulu]

Read the same books, read the same birth stories (plenty of them here), have a chat about it together.

Don't focus on the negatives. My first was over and done with in 5 hours - no reason yours won't be the same - no reason you might need a transfusion etc etc etc iykwim?

It doesn't HAVE to be all doom and gloom. Yes, labour is hard work eeerm -probably why they call it labour ha ha bloody ha - but if you can, get in a headspace to celebrate your body and trust it.

Your body is already doing something amazing, it won't necesarrily spaz out at the last minute.

xoxoxoxo Pm me any ole time you want xoxoxo

[blackduckies]

Do the hospital birthing classes, that way he will understand what is to come, my DH was a bit upset becasue I was grouchy / and ordered him around..???? Definatley another support person so if he needs a break, he can, even if its only to sit in a corner for a moment or wait it out while you shower etc. Write a birth plan of what you want together, so he understands what is important to you or what you might like and most of all be flexiable, often what you think you want and what you do is very different when it comes to the time. i thought I wanted to labour in the bath< th ewhole pregancy I wanted baths, when it came to labour I got in the bath then got straight back out!!! Dh was horriffied that it had taken so long to run and then I did'nt use it!!! Last time I expected that i would be walking heaps, whneit came to the time all I wanted to do was kneel beside the bed with my head on the side and DH to hold my hands.

[Queen]

Hun,like the others said, talk to people, read books, google, read birth stories, get all the information you can. Speak to your doctor.
I had my Mum and DH in for first birth. For second I had a doula/friend and DH. I really loved having a doula, they know you, and can help you through.
Good luck