Another non-dad but . . . I actually think your DH should cut the cord if he wants to. Yes, the cord is the physical connection between me and my babies, but I saw my DH cutting it as a symbolic joining of him into the relationship I had previously exclusively had with my daughters if that makes sense.
TBH I never thought about cutting the cord myself - I was upset when DH initially said with DD#1 that he didn't want to do it. When the time came my OB just assumed he was doing it so DH clamped and cut both our girls' cords. He really enjoyed doing it and I loved his involvement.
Having said all that, if my DH had behaved the way yours did during either of my labours I would have chucked him out - of the delivery room at least and quite possibly my marriage. That is absolutely unacceptable as far as I'm concerned. Given his past performance you definitely deserve to overrule his wishes in preference of your own (and not be selfish in doing so) and have your mum there for support. I would also put your DH on notice that unless you get proper support from him during the birth this time he's out and you will cut the cord yourself.
I think you need to think about you this time in regards to the labour and support.
If you want your mum there, then she should be there. Since it's ultimately you doing the hard work and it's a tough thing to go through anyways with support, let alone without any.
With DS#1 I had my mum, my twin sister and DP. They took turns with being with me through the long hours. So my DP could go home and have a sleep, yet he was still moody and angry at me, while I was in labour, cause he was tired. After the birth and all that I was disgusted he acted like that towards me, and trying to make it all about him.
So I was glad to have other people with me at the time, for the support I needed.
This time I told my DP outright I was having my mother with me aswell as him, cause that's what I needed. We had a few arguements over it, not to mention loads of tears on my part, cause he wanted it to be just us... which yeah, I'd love that but I just couldn't leave myself open to no support at the time when you need it the most.
I think he finally could see where I was coming from and accepted that's how I wanted it.
(Yeah, I know it was very selfish of me, but it's not like I could pass the hardwork and pain along from someone else to do it for me)
Re; the cord cutting. My DP did that both times. He said he didn't mind if he did it or not this time around, but for me I felt like he was involved and it was special to me. I actually never thought about cutting it myself, I just assumed that my DP would do it.
Good luck with whatever outcome you guys have.
Sorry for my rambling.
Why not have 2 pairs of scissors and both cut the cord at the same time - from either side.
As a mummy and daddy welcome you into this world. Perhaps decide on a nice little poem or short phrase you can say together before the cut
I think this would be very special between all 3 of you!
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