I just want to add Dannielle that outside the delivery room my DH is useless too. He was really good during all 3 of my labours. He's a pack a day smoker & went without & tried everything I told him to with out getting the sh*ts with me when I pushed him away.
But at home he is I think alot like yours. He doesn't help around the house, he rarely looks after the kids, when we fight they are 'my' kids.
He actually makes comments all the time about wishing it was just us & DS. He odesn't let the other's hear him, but it hurts me pretty bad. He won't put out the rubbish, won't take the bin out on bin night. I am raising the kids on my own. 98%.
He isn't always like this. Over the last 3 years he gotten better & better. Because I made him. He might act like that alot, but when it all gets too much for me, he does realise & wake up to himself & will do something to make it up to me. eg, clean the house for me, get up to the kids & let me sleep. Only when I've screamed at him about how I'm just about to lose it & I can't do it anymore.
The last episode was coz of a tooth ache. I actually looked at rental houses where my mum is & got an application form emailed to me. But he's since snapped out of it.
He does get it when I drill it into him. I think you need to sit your DP down & talk to him. Ask him the things you really don't want to know the answer to.
Do you want to be a Dad?, Do you want us gone?
Tell him if he doesn't wake up to himself & grow up a bit & accept HIS responsibility, you'll leave.

I'm not telling you to leave. Just maybe he needs a bit of a 'slap' to wake him up. You are a person who has feelings too.The shock of you going to stay with your mum for a few days & telling him he won't see his baby born if he keeps it up might be enough to get the love & support you need & deserve.
Tell him what you need. You can't do this alone.
Until I explain it to DH as if he is 5 years old, he just doesn't get it.

I really hope you guys work things out.
Sorry to go on & on. I just think he needs a good talking to.