I suppose I had the opposite when I told my dad I was pregnant with Ianto - I was terrified he'd go off his nut because we conceived slightly before the wedding (apparently a big no-no in my family) but his first reaction was to turn to my mum and say "I told you so!" with a massive grin on his face This time, no-one's really reacted aside from asking me how everything's going. I'm not sure they know how to react, but I'm grateful they're not so rude that they ask if I'm happy about it!
I've had the exact reverse with the last two .. a few "about time"s and "I thought you were pregnant"s. Everyone assumed they were planned though ... ridiculously cute boy/girl pair 3 years into a relationship, spaced 2.5 years apart, in my early-mid 30s. Nope, just too fertile.
People do tend to forget I have 3 children, or don't even know I've got 3. I don't look as old as I am - a couple of the midwives thought both of us were younger than we are (we're indoor geeks). I think I'd get more questions if I had three close together, or if I *looked* 35.
I get spoke to like I am unable to make a mature adult decision. I get asked 'Do you even know what contraception IS?' 'WHY would you want another?' 'It's not a clown car you know?' etc. No one is ever happy and now people just roll their eyes. FFS this is my 3rd pg not my 43rd!
Gosh, reading this thread I think I have come off very lightly. I had a few "was it planned" but I just thought it was funny and a slightly strange question (which is what I said to the people asking). But I'm pretty sure it is just a way for them to be conversational about it, I really don't see any judgement at all.
But if I said to someone "I've got some wonderful news..." and they replied with a negative I would find that really strange & hurtful, I'm sorry for the ladies that have experienced that.
I have to confess to being on the other side of this .
When Pie's FDC carer told me she was pregnant, my first response was Congratulations...and then the mouth went before the brain & I blurted 'was it planned?' totally unthinking, I was very surprised as I had had the impression they were done.
And when I left there, it hit me what I had said, and i spent all day feeling absolutely horrible. When I went to pick Pie up that afternoon the first thing I said was 'I'm so sorry for what I said this morning, that was such a rude thing to say, i just didn't think etc etc'.
She laughed & said it was ok, they had had a lot of it and yes they had said they were done but changed their minds. I guess I got off lightly
So please, I apologise on behalf of all those who have ever suffered a MAJOR case of foot-in-mouth - *running away now*
ETA - although reading this thread, some of those comments are just so nasty, I can't believe anyone would think that, let alone say it
PZ and TM
This time, no-one's really reacted aside from asking me how everything's going. I'm not sure they know how to react, but I'm grateful they're not so rude that they ask if I'm happy about it!
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