hi all. It's been a while since I posted in here. Hope you're all doing well

Milly5 - I understand where you're coming from with not feeling bub. I'm nearly 20wks and still havent felt a thing. The longer it goes, the more anxious I am. I'm starting to dread the scan next week, in case it's bad news. I know all the logic - it's my first to get this far, I have an anterior placenta and I'm overweight, so it may take another few weeks... it doesn't stop the anxiety and the negative thoughts driving me into tears.

dory - I am in awe about how strong you're being. Its wonderful that you're doing everything you need to to make sure bub is kept in nice and safe as long as possible. I also wouldn't cope not being able to find bub's HB. If the midwife takes more than a couple of minutes I start to stress.

Audax - I hope you're feeeling better and the test results were good

CharlieCat - I hope you had another positive result

I hope everyone else is well. I have good days, when I can feel the uterus stretching etc, but the constant "when will I feel bub" anxiety is getting to me. Getting exercise can help clear my head and help me start to focus on the positives, but some mornings, it's just hard to get out of bed. I think the depression may be sneaking back in again. I suppose all I can do is take it one day at a time.