With DS1 we didn't know what we were having.

With DS2 we initially thought we wouldn't find out again. So prior to 20 week scan this was what we told people if they asked. Then on our way to the scan we both decided we'd find out but we'd keep it to ourselves. Most people didn't ask because they thought we weren't finding out anyway and if they did i would say we didn't find out. I didn't think of it as lying to them, we just made the choice to not tell people. In the end i told a few close friends anyway but they all kept it very quiet. Even after the birth we never let on that we knew what we were having.

We also kept our names to ourselves both times.

Knowing how i felt during pregnancy with knowing/not knowing gender & names i actually don't ask people these questions (maybe close friends or family yes). It's not because i'm rude and don't care it's because i feel it's their business. I'm happy to find out when the baby is born.

As for strangers i often told people we knew but no one else did.

I don't think i thought about pro's and con's as such, the decision to find out what we were having was for us and no one else. I suppose a con is knowing that you'll never slip up and accidently say he or she somewhere along the line

We decided to find out but not tell as it was nice just us knowing the gender of our baby.

Don't think of it as lying to people, if you make a decision with your husband to not tell the gender of your baby that's ok. Everyone will know soon enough

Enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy