oh fiona i can't believe you spent so much time wondering whether or not to post! of course you should post your opinion, that is why i am on here. I can totally understand what you are saying about living seperately and not wanting to get back together, but also i know that I can't stay here, we are living away from all my family and friends and i am miserable, i know that i need to be back with my family and friends, thats whats important to me right now, I am totally sure now that moving out is the best thing for me, and I believe that if DH does decide to get help and try and fix our relationship he wont do it without something drastic like me moving out and giving him an ultimatum. Dh isn't a bad person, but he is a very hard person to get along with if he doesn't get his own way. I feel like im suffocating here, i desperatley need to get out and fix me, I can't do that here with DH unfortunately.

thanks again for your post and for your care and support. It is great that you and DH have worked so hard and seem to be improving your relationship, you obviously love and respect each other a lot