firstly hun - huge hugs to you - this is a really tough issue to be dealing with.

my DH lost his brother just over two years ago when their great nieces/god daughters (DH's sisters grandchldren) were the ages your children are now. they took it very level headedly, but struggled with the suddeness of it. i think it's something that, although difficult, it might be better to explain to your boys that it will happen soon so that they are prepared. it's a really difficult conversation, and one only you know how to deal with for YOUR children, but knowing you yourself will be extremely emotional at the time, i would suggest it's probably best to tell them now. it will also help them if they know it's ok to be sad and that you will be sad at the time iykwim? the nieces i mentioned earlier never seen the adults get upset, so even though they understood what had happened, they didn't think they were allowed to show how sad they felt until i had a talk to them the morning of the funeral - up until that point, they hadn't realised that the adults were crying when they weren't in the room, so thought it was wrong for them to be showing they're sadness.

with respect to the funeral and the viewing - that's a really tough call. i think for your children to have closure, the funeral is a must. i lost family members as a child and wasn't allowed to say goodbye and i resented my parents for a long time. i know your children are young, but they need to be given the chance to say good bye - and again, it helps them to understand their grief if they see that adults are also hurting. as to the viewing - that is an entirely personal decision. at the time DH's brother passed, his nieces were taken to the viewing - i don't think it was explained to them what it was about, and they were really uncomfortable and distressed by it. DH and i ended up taking the girls outside and just talking to them about what they were feeling. if you have highly emotional children, it may not be the best idea - but, particularly for your 8 year old, i would honestly talk it through with him and gauge his level of understanding and whether you think it is necessary. again, this is a time when your own emotions will be running very high - and you need to take into account whether this is something your son needs to be a witness to or whether it will distress him more.

i know i haven't really answered your question and have primarily just waffled about personal experience - but i'm hoping that will help you a little

in advance, i'm really sorry for what you're going through - i lost my nan early this year so i know how you're feeling hun - take care of yourself and your family:hugs: