Oh Nic

Hugs to you - it is a very hard time for you and your family.

I agree with everything that others have said and with how you are dealing with it.

I would also add that you should let them know that you will be sad. You will be really sad because you loved your G very much and you will miss her and it isn't their fault and if you are sad they can hug you (or similar) because that will make you happy again. Remember that they feed off your emotions (and it sounds like Ethan may have figured out that you are a little fragile at the moment).

Also, maybe plant a plant in the garden in her memory. You could make it a family expidition to the nursery to buy it and then all dig the hole and all plant it together and then have a little ceremony saying something like GG is gone now but she loved beautiful things and every time we look at this tree we will remember how wonderful she was and how much she loved us all. This may be a way of letting the boys open up and express how they are feeling as well.

Thinking of you.