Jane - I have my fingers crossed that you get a BFP when you test.

SP - I agree about how hard it is when everyone and everything around us is about babies or pregnancy. My best friend had a baby boy last month at the same hospital that I was admitted to, and I went to visit, and it was very surreal - the same nurses etc, but I figured I wanted a happy memory of the place to compensate my memories. But it was still very hard. Some days I just think about wanting to hold a newborn baby in my arms, and I can't remember the last time I did, it was probably 5yrs ago when my niece was born. My gf doesn't like other people touching her children because she has a germ phobia, so we weren't allowed to hold him. But it's probably just as well, because I would have started blubbering