I just phoned the clinic, and they are making me get the BT. The nurse said that they have to monitor me closely to see what is going on and that if I am pg, they need to check on my hormone levels so they can give me medication to boost my oestrogen and/or progesterone if it is not high enough. That means I can't remain in my happy naive world I have created and wait as long as possible to find out if I am pg or not. I don't want yet another day of waiting around at work all day for a phone call, stressing and waiting for results. I just can't do it, the stress gets to me too much. I know I sound pathetic, but I just can't handle the wait. I would rather not know. And I don't think it's true - if a pregnancy is failing, it's failing, and no drugs can help that. I have done a lot of research, and I don't think they can give you any drugs at this stage to help maintain a pregnancy (if I am even pg).

I don't have the BT form with me, so I have to get it done tomorrow. That means I will have do a HPT tonight or in the morning so at least I will have an idea if I am pg or not, which will make the wait slightly more bearable.

I wish I could just be happy about things, and about the possibility of being pg. Instead I am just terrified. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I have been feeling so good lately and was going really well, and now they have thrown me into a tailspin again. I would not mind having the test done if there really WAS something they could do to maintain a pregnancy if I am pg, but I truly believe that there isn't - so what is the point?