Satya - I really feel for you. And I have to say, it really irkes me that someone like you, who is obviously so loving and would make such a wonderful Mum, is having trouble ttc. It's not fair, it really isn't. I often wonder what the "big plan" is for us all. I lost my first husband (in an aviation accident) when our kids were 2 and 4 years old. It was the worst time of my life, but somehow I got through it. Being a single parent (not by my own choice) was incredibly challenging whilst grieving. Anyway, that was 5 years ago. 2 years ago I met my wonderful new husband, and my life took a completely new and wonderful turn again. We knew we wanted a baby, so got to work and fell pregnant without too much effort. And to have our gorgeous baby born and die 18 hours later was so utterly devastating - he was my joy after so much pain .... sorry for the vent ....... but I just can't help but wonder "what the hell was all that about", "what is the plan"????????? What is the lesson here for me???

Haven't come up with many great answers, but I'm working on it. But I do know for sure that the best way to honour my dear loved ones who are not with me physically, is to live well, and to keep trying.

And thats all any of us can do - to keep trying, to not give in, to not get bitter about things that we cannot control (easier said than done at times).

Anyway, I'm just wanting to tell you - to hang in there. Great you are going to get some help. I do believe you will have a baby, but sometimes the best prizes are so hard fought for, that'll make them even more special.

Hugs to you all.

Lee xoxo

(p.s. 10 dpo for me............. this truly is taking forever!! - my BBs have been sore, a bit of creamy cm, and still don't feel moody like AF is on her way - but this could all be in my head too!!) Last month AF arrived on CD27 (today) - but I usually have a longer cycle, more like 30 days. I had such a heavy AF last cycle, the first "proper" one after having my little boy in early March. So, hopefully, that kind of cleared the way for a good O, and now a wedding time BFP??? Don't think I can test until another 4 days, by which time AF will just be late............... patience............aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh!