Theresa - I am so sorry My FS summed it up yesterday when he said this journey can be just 'soul destroying'. Unfortunately we all know too well how utterly devastating it is each month AF shows up.

I too, was a mess this week (especially Wednesday as I got AF that morning and I was convinced I was pregnant, had lots of symptoms). I just cried and cried. I have still been emotional the last couple of days with tears welling up every time I think about the baby we so desperately long for.

It sounds like you have a wonderful DP to support you. I would never have survived the last 15 months without my DH. Whenever I am down about not being pg I always remind myself how lucky I am to have my DH and we are lucky to have found each other, some people never find their soulmate. Now all we want is to start our family. All we can do is cling to the hope that it will happen, just not as quickly or as easily as we would like (or deserve!).

I often question why the journey is so hard for couples who would make such wonderful parents. I'm not sure why but I do know is that we will all feel so much more grateful and blessed when we are holding our healthy baby in our arms. I picture that moment in my mind and it keeps me going.

Let the tears flow and get lots of cuddles from your DP. Never apologise for sounding morbid or feeling sorry for yourself. You are only human and right now your heart is broken.

I 2009 is the year for you and your DP so you can begin to heal.

It is quiet on here tonight, I think the ladies must be in Friday night chat. I'm not sure how all that works as I am relatively new to this forum thing.

I hope you find some comfort in my words until all the other wonderful ladies respond. I know words don't mean much right now so I will send you another cyber hug