TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 08

[tina_k]

oh PBSTAR,

so so so sorry sweetheart...please remember, we have all thought these things and felt these feelings, but you HAVE TO know that you hvae done nothing wrong...nothing you did, either now or in the past, caused this to happen...God just didnt think it was your time yet...

i know it feels impossible now, but please try and look after your self , and know that these feelings will pass...

but for now, know that we are all thinking of you and praying for you

[~Aveta~]

pbstar, although you are feeling bleak and you have every right to be, don't blame yourself. since we lost our little one i've been researching madly and all i can come up with is most m/c have no one "cause", it's just good old mother nature making sure that when you do have a baby it'll be a good strong healthy one. not much consolation, i know...but do look after yourself.

[Jodsan]

Pbstar- I am so sorry sweety I know its hard to think it at the moment, but is so not your fault and doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. A friend of mine had 3 mc's bw her two bubs and her 2nd was fine. I really think its just the luck of the draw. I know I'm probably getting repetitive, but not every egg can be perfect and not every sperm can be perfect, but eventually two perfect ones will get together. There is nothing you can do that will alter that. I think these really early losses are very common, which is why doctors always want us to wait til after AF is due to POAS. Try to give yourself a break. Take care and come in and vent as much as you feel like doing.

[plc1805]

Sorry i haven't posted lately but will bbl for personals.

Just wanted to say to Pbstar - that, depite what u feel, u r not a failure and u r experiencing what many many women before u have for hundreds of years but have never wished to share with anyone else cos it's "taboo". Honey, not any consolation right now but maybe will be in time, this is nature's way. It can happen once, twice, 3 times and more and it randomly happens to anyone - not ur fault and nothing u did wrong. That's the logical side - the emotional side doesn't understand that hence u feel like a failure and that it will never happen for u. Sweety - it WILL happen for you - just believe it will. You have all of our shoulders to cry on however for as long as you need it

[pbstar]

ladies, thank you all for your replies to my post this morning. your kindness and support make such a difference. knowing i am not alone helps more than i can even say.

i do know i shouldn't blame myself, guess it is just natural to try to look for answers and reasons when there really aren't any. it is hard but once again i am slowly surrendering to knowing this is all out of my control.

once again, thank you all for your support.