TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ Dec 07/Jan 08

**ll80** · January 13th, 2008, 12:47 PM

Hi everyone,
I've been reading all your stories and you are all such strong women.
I've only just had my m/c last week and am wondering where you get the courage to try again.
I'm not ready yet and at this point not sure when I will be.
I do want to try again, after being pg again it has re-kindled the desire IYKWIM.
Just need to build my strength back up and get back on track mentally.
Good Luck to you all TTC.
..Laura

**Baby Angels** · January 13th, 2008, 01:17 PM

Ohhhh Laura I so know what you mean. I lost my angels 12 Days ago, and reading what you just wrote I fully understand what your saying.

I wrote for something in a forum last week sometime and a lady who had just lost her babies told me I was so strong. I got her response and I thought..... Strong.... Nope Not Me. At the time I wasnt. It comes very gradually. Yesterday was the first day of the fog lifting and today I feel just a tad better again. I have only just finished writing a post in the TTC saying that I think, thanks to some of the people i have met and spoken to on here that I just MIGHT be at the stage where I can think about going again.

Its a slow process Laura, but you can get through just like I can, just like so many of the wonderful women... and some men I ve spoken to on here can and have.

**AJC** · January 13th, 2008, 04:04 PM

thanks Bettyboop. Will be a miracle if it happens this month - we were actually trying not to fall this month until we saw ob/gyn to see what he thought of all of my post m/c tests. He gave us the green light so are waiting for af so we can officially start trying again. Chart does look good though - can't even remember when we bd'd this month as haven't been marking that on my chart. I guess there is always that slim chance but no tender breasts or any other symptoms I've experienced before. At this stage just hoping it means my hormones are doing what they're supposed to and will be in order to give me a bfp next cycle.

Your cycle looks like af will be on her way very soon. Maybe next cycle will be your lucky one too

Treelo - hope the break did you well. DH and I have had a 4 month break this time, mainly to do tests but mentally/emotionally it has done us the world of good. Also been good to get fit, eat well. Good luck to you!

**bettyboop** · January 13th, 2008, 06:25 PM

Hopeing we will see some BFP soon on here

**nicksterUK** · January 14th, 2008, 12:34 AM

Hiya ladies, I've been reading your amazing stories since i found you in December. I was looking for 'something' to help me after my m/c on Christmas Eve at 11 weeks, but didn't have the courage to join you until now. I looked back through some old threads from summer '07 too, especially in my saddest moments-I have to say you're an inspiration- i've learnt far more from your experiences than anything I've read elsewhere. My GP has been very aloof (old style) so I don't know if I'm doing the right thing (as I didn't ask) but my hubby and I are TTC again straightaway. I have finished a course of tablets to stop the post m/c bleed, and hcg is back to normal. Figure we have nothing to lose now.

Very best wishes to those now expecting in '08. Sincerely have fingers, arms, eyes (but not legs- i'm needing those TTC!!!) crossed for you- you give me hope xx

**ll80** · January 14th, 2008, 06:45 AM

good luck Nickster, hopefully you get that BFP soon.

...Laura

**Baby Angels** · January 14th, 2008, 07:47 AM

Good Luck with it all nickster. Hope everything goes well for you. I had a specialist that wasnt to forthcoming with information or the need to set my mind at rest and coming in here helped. Even if i didnt know what question I needed to ask, just reading through the posts taught me a lot and I hope it helps you as well

**tempus moriendi** · January 14th, 2008, 08:45 AM

Laura, you're very sweet, but I don't feel all that brave or strong LOL! Maybe bullheaded is more like it because I really want another baby. But then I get ambivilant. Totally want a baby, but afraid of getting preg and having another MC.
Good luck.

**STARRYSKY** · January 14th, 2008, 07:24 PM

tempus, I can totally relate to that feeling, I am 2 mths away from my due date with the bub I lost, I so hoped i would be pg by now, but as you say, I am also bloody terrified, I keep telling myself that its posible to have a healthy baby, then i read about these others who have hd 2, 3, sometimes more and I wonder how they do it, but the hope is life and life is hope, I think i am babbling now, but I hope you know what i mean.
anyway, hello everyone, there are so many newbies here now!! welcome to you all, I hope your stay is short, we had such a big clear out of ladies late last year, I think we are due for another run of BFPS!!!
BABYHOPES, i AM THINKING OF YOU AND AM SENDING YOU THE STICKIEST OF STICKY VIBES!!!
good luck to everyone in the tww, fingers crossed for us all.
xxx

**AJC** · January 14th, 2008, 08:05 PM

Welcome nickster

Hope '08 is going to be your year. I'm reasonably new in here too. Joined Oct last year but DH and I took a break to do some tests but are ready to ttc again as of now. You've come to the right place for support, it's so great to talk to people who actually know how you feel.

Good luck & hope to see

beside your name soon.

**ll80** · January 14th, 2008, 08:12 PM

Tempus I totally understand what you mean about being afraid of m/c again.
I am pretty damn sure I will be an absolute nervous wreck if I am pg again, may as well reserve my seat at the doctors now.
I'm moving from Toowoomba back to my home town of Melbourne, I think once I am settled into new house and DD is settled in Kindy, DP and I will try again.
Starry I understand what you mean, with hope we all endure and gather strength to try again, this echoes through out all things in our lives.
*Fingers Crossed* for everyone trying this month.
...Laura

**nicksterUK** · January 14th, 2008, 11:40 PM

Thanks Laura,AJC and Angel Babies for the lovely welcome- and 'Hi' to everyone else! I'm so relieved to find people who really relate to what's happened. My DH is brilliant and supportive, and I know he was as shocked and upset as me when we m/c, but I'm sure he thinks I've become a bit obsessive TTC. He's off work today, unwell and been feeling rough over the weekend, but I still woke him up last night for bd!! I've been having (severe) hot flushes etc & although I obviously haven't had af yet I'm watching all the signs- obsessively haha!

It's madness isn't it, that our whole lives now seem to revolve around this, and how much notice I now take of my body (and his- I've banned him from using the laptop in case it warms his swimmers up! and keep dosing him up with bananas and iron-rich veg/steak etc) He's taking it all in good humour tho, and says 'there's nothing wrong with wanting something, especially when you've lost something already.' He's probably hoping we'll conceive quickly so he can have a rest as much as anything else!

Good luck to us all, hoping it'll be a short stay here for everyone xx
wishing, wishing, wishing,,,,,,,!

**Baby Angels** · January 15th, 2008, 12:24 AM

I can so relate. Hubby now sits his laptop to the left hand side of him when he is sitting on the couch. Its not allowed on his lap. His Mobile phone is not allowed in the pocket of his pants. Smokes were cut out TOTALLY 6 months ago and Coffee has been reduced to about 1 or 2 cups. That still might sound like a lot to some people but trust me, we own our own business and are work a holics, we survived on coffee and smokes. 6 months ago we only ate one meal a day and the rest was coffee and cigs. OH BOY HAS THAT CHANGED.

As for the BD

I decided last night that I would not discuss it. I thought about it a bit and I could be totaly wrong, its happened before, but what pressure. DH its time to perform now come here. Ohhh the thought of it stressed me out when I put myself in his shoes. So I have it figured. Lets go for once a week and then on the "special" week he might get an extra one or two or three.... who knows. lol

I started talking to him about days of the month etc last night and its as if the colour just drained out of his face.

I know that theory doesnt relate to our next IVF cycle but at this stage that wont be until about May or June and until then the attempts naturally will at least be enjoyable

He still swears that if the day ever comes where we decide that we are not going to continue TTC then he s going straight out and buying a packet of smokes.

**tempus moriendi** · January 15th, 2008, 04:00 AM

nicksterUK: not sure how I missed your post last time I was on, but just wanted to say welcome, and I'm sorry for your loss--and on Christmas Eve of all times. Makes it doubly painful. I'll be praying for you for a happy ending. BTW, I thought laptops were "Better" than regular computers??? But I could be wrong. I limit myself to about 2 hours a day.

STARRYSKY: I try to commemorate the angelversaries (a word I learned here). I find it helps. I didn't keep track of my EDD's--just didn't think about it.

AJC: welcome to you, too. Good luck and I'll be praying for you at this difficult time.

ll80: When do you move? Sounds exciting--good luck.

Angel Babies: I don't carry my cell or cordless in my pocket anymore, either. But I can relate to how wearing it is to love on demand. We had trouble conceiving with our first and had to time it and it's a real romance drainer. Since then, we fall preg fairly easily, it's just holding them that's been the problem. Good luck!

**ll80** · January 15th, 2008, 07:34 AM

Tempus, Moving by the end of the month, which is creeping up all to quickly and I am no where near prepared enough yet.
Probably a week behind now, but not to worry, these things can't be avoided and in the big scheme of things it's not that big of a deal, get there in the end.

I haven't quite jumped on the TTC wagon yet but DP bugs me at the best of times, I don't think I will have too much trouble convincing him that we need to go for it a few extra times. I'll have my hands full keeping him off so that he can build up a good supply of the suckers.

..Laura

**nicksterUK** · January 15th, 2008, 07:48 AM

It's difficult to strike that balance - TTC whilst maintaining that closeness/loving intimacy that DH and I both need. I certainly don't want it all to turn into calender watching, I want to have fun too!

He hasn't yet started rolling his eyes when I say I'm off to bed (with a knowing nod, or wink) so that's good.

Feeling a bit nervous about af arriving, whenever that might happen as I'm sure I'll be desperately disappointed since I really, really want to 'fall' asap- don't we all? I know, sorry...At least when af does actually arrive I'll know that my body is returning to normal- although apparently there's often a chance that there won't be an egg for a few cycles. Just a few hurdles to combat then?!!

i'm off to bed now, may drag DH upstairs but he's back to work tomorrow so maybe not (he needs his zzzzzz's). It seems odd that I'm going to bed and most of you ladies are all up and about, so I'll wish you a lovely (probably sunny) day (it's been a sunny, crisp, but very cold day here and we had a lovely walk earlier, all wrapped up)
Night night for now xx

**nicksterUK** · January 15th, 2008, 08:21 AM

Magda- so sorry for your loss, I'm sure you must be feeling very raw still x I didn't have a d&c with my m/c in December- it was a complete m/c at home (I was 11 weeks). The event itself lasted about 5 hours, then the following day very heavy bleeding/clotting (apologies for TMI) with cramps. I guess I bled, with cramps for a good 10 days after (some days lighter, others really quite heavy). In the end I felt so drained I saw my GP who put me on Tranexamic Acid tablets for 4 days, to stop the bleeding. They worked a treat and I already feel that my hormones and body are returning to a state of 'normality.' Emotionally the fact that the bleeding finally stopped allowed me to visit the bathroom without dread- in fact, it was a pleasure to simply pee! Lol xx
Hope this is useful- i'm awaiting af and have no idea when that will happen- if it's 5-7 weeks after m/c like they say it'll be end of this month. Best Wishes, Nic

**AJC** · January 15th, 2008, 08:39 AM

Had no idea what an anxious wait it would become for me this month. Saw ob'gyn a week ago and he gave us go ahead to ttc again. Was fine with that as was expecting him to tell us to wait until march (not sure why) to ttc again. He looked at my last two charts and made comment that my luteal phase was only around 11 days. So here I am 14dpo still with high temps. Did a test this morn but was negative. Don't feel pg but don't feel like af is coming either?!?! Very confused. Weren't really trying this month as we were waiting until we saw doc to get some final results (which were all normal apart from uterine polyp which was removed during hysteroscopy in Nov).

Have been having wisdom teeth problems so perhaps that explains the high temps - af probably just around the corner. Glad I've made it to 14dpo though as I know short luteal phase is not always but sign but doesn't help.

have a good day everyone!