Hi all. I need to vent about a conversation I had yesterday with my older brother. He and his wife had a baby back in November, about 1 week before we found out about losing Nathaniel.
Lately when he calls my mobile and leaves a message, he always pretends to be his baby talking to me. It has started to grate a bit - as the other night I had a rough day and then get this baby message - he does actually talk but he says it is the baby etc. So I had spoken to my mother about it and she said she would tell him that sometimes I am having bad days and getting these messages doesn't help. I don't want him thinking that i am not happy for their baby and I love him etc. Anyway I went to call him yesterday, and had started to think that I had over-reacted etc and was going to tell my mum not to say anything. Anyway we are both chatting on the phone and he asks about my week - so I say work okay and then decided to say we had met the new Ob. I thought it would be a good idea to share this. So firstly he said something about it being good to be organised. I then said that this ob specialises in women who have lost babies. And that is when it all went downhill. He said 'so did you tell him you are careless?' I wasn't sure I heard him right but then he said it again. I asked him what he meant and he said 'did you tell him you lose things or misplace things'. He was joking of course but he just kept going, saying things like 'you will forget where you put the baby and only find it when it cries'...I was in shock he was saying this to me, and just kept saying 'What are you on about' What do you mean? Eventually I said ' ARe you saying this because I said 'lost' a baby' and all he replied with was 'You will have to tie a know in your hankerchief to remind you'. We then both had to go - but I was just shocked that he had made a joke about all of this. It is in such bad taste. You don't joke with someone who has suffered a loss only 3 months ago. So I called my mum this morning to tell her and she was in shock as well. He obviously thought he was joking around but it is in such bad taste. His first wife died unexpectedly 5 years ago, and I would never have dreamt (nor would now) of telling him he is careless for misplacing her! I just can not understand why he show such a lack of judgement. It also means that I am even more reluctant to speak to him.
I don't think I could be bothered talking to him myself about it. DH and i have enough on our plate without having to deal with a stupid joker - so mum said she will say something.
Does everyone else agree this is out of line?
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