Beata -- holy cow, 1 kg! That was no tiny thing, that! Take extra good care of yourself as you're healing. I'm your typical, cynical skeptic that doesn't believe in much of anything, but I *do* believe that meditating on your healing process, picturing your white cells going to work and building you up again, picturing the eggs that are on their way soon and the little baby that will soon take place in your uterus instead of that fibroid... that's something I definitely believe in.

Paula -- glad to see your temp went back up! I saw that post from you last night before I went to bed, because of the time difference. When I got up this morning I checked your chart again, and was all "WTH! Why is there no new temp today!" A little bit of a brain fart on my part, but just so you know, I'm watching you closely!

Helen -- I can't imagine how much DTD there was during a 60-day cycle of concentrated TTC and not knowing when O was coming. Your determination paid off! How's it going with your cervix? (Not a question I ask my friends that often, hehe!)

Jo -- let us know what your psychic has to say, if you're comfortable sharing. As for getting up at 3am to watch Obama get sworn in -- yay! This political geek was plastered to the Swedish news channels yesterday watching the speech and everything. Since we were over at a friend's for dinner at the time, they were VERY patient with me, heh...

Teagz -- I' glad to here the good news about yours acquaintences and their pregnancies! It's always uplifting to hear about all the successes that happen for other members of the "post loss" community, even if we don't know them. In the meantime, I hope you don't have to wait too much longer for Jayvan's results, though I know from Lan's case that it can take a really long, frustrating time to get those kinds of answers. It sounds like you had both the good and the bad with your experience in giving birth to and losing Jayvan. It can't be easy to decide in a moment like that if you want to and would be helped by holding him or not. I was not able to get that kind of closure with Beiron, but shortly after my loss I bought this charm bracelet. Two big heart charms -- a blue one for me, "the teacher," and a yellow one for DH, "the scholar" -- and a little green one for Beiron. I wear it every day and can find myself subconsciously rolling that little green heart around in my fingers. It's not quite the same as having seen and held my baby, but it gives me something to put my fingers on, focus on, sometimes actively and sometimes subconsciously, and sometimes I just "pet" it and say how much I wish I could have known you, my first little baby. The bracelet also has a new little silver heart for Kebab, right next to the little green one.

Theresa -- my experience with losing Beiron also includes a series of "this is exactly how a caregiver should NOT act" experiences, so my heart genuinely breaks for you. The insensitivity, cruelty, mistakes of people who are trained to have our lives in their hands -- they can live on much longer and more vividly than nature's neutral cruelty in taking our babies away. But I definitely hope one thing -- that you won't ever let them treat you like that again! I'm a short, quiet, seemingly unassuming woman (and foreign to boot) so I don't know if that's what leads to be getting kicked around more than others, but believe me, after the letters I wrote and the fuss I made after our miscarriage experience, I believe the entireity of ?sterg?tlands county and Link?ping's university hospital tremble at the thought of me! Rawr!

So I continue to get super excellent treatment this time around -- we had our second appointment with the high risk OB today. I turned out to be a different one than I expected -- I must have met at least 12 of Link?ping's gynecologists by this point -- but she was awesome as well. I got a short scan, not incredibly detailed, but satisfying enough for me. I have, like, a BIG BABY in my belly! Head way down there, butt way up here! And everything looks good. It's a good day.