Thanks Jo, I am having more cramping since this afternoon so I hope all you girls are right and it could be pg symptoms... could I be that lucky?

Your little girl is so beautiful, the way she has reacted to both Cooper and Nicholas shows what a special person she is and it makes me feel teary knowing she said nie-nie to him, he does just look like he is asleep.

Don't feel guilty about wanting to have seen your angels, I am sure it is a natural thing to want and you are not awful. Sometimes I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to see and touch Nicholas, but other times I wonder if it would be easier to not have those memories etched in my head because they are really hard to handle sometimes. But I really think there is good and bad in all situations. While I am so grateful for having had the opportunity to meet Nicholas and I love him with all my heart, it was a very difficult having to hold him in my arms and give him back knowing I would never hold him again. As much as I would never give back that opportunity, my dreams and thoughts are constantly filled with looking at his little face and touching his cold cheek, knowing this was my child and I was never going to see him grow into a man.

On the flip side though, I am sure I would be feeling the same way as you had it been different.

Thanks again, I think you are right about him being to good for this world - that goes for all of our angels

Mel