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Thread: TTC after Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth after the 1st trimester ~ Jan 07

  1. #109
    kerry Guest

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    Mel - don't want to get your hopes up but I am a bit of an expert on early pg symptoms (well at least my early pg symptoms) and the main one I found was it felt like af was coming with a vengance for 2-3 weels (even after I knew I was pg) it just feels like its coming but never does. Most of my m/c have been late first tri, early second tri. Nicholas' site is just beautiful, and in the words of Brigid.. "ahh bubba nie-nie".. which is just how he looks, like a precious sleeping angel. Bugger what anyone else says, don't take his picture from your site, he is a real person and an adorable one at that and he deserves to be seen by the world that he was just too darn good for!



    OK confession time, sometimes I feel jealous of you guys. I have never got to see my precious angels as they all left too soon. I would have loved to have seen what they looked like and then I get guilty and think how awful of me is that. Oh well, if we couldn't deal with it we would get it.. Life only gives us what we can handle, even if at the time we think we can't.

  2. #110

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    Thanks Jo, I am having more cramping since this afternoon so I hope all you girls are right and it could be pg symptoms... could I be that lucky?

    Your little girl is so beautiful, the way she has reacted to both Cooper and Nicholas shows what a special person she is and it makes me feel teary knowing she said nie-nie to him, he does just look like he is asleep.

    Don't feel guilty about wanting to have seen your angels, I am sure it is a natural thing to want and you are not awful. Sometimes I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to see and touch Nicholas, but other times I wonder if it would be easier to not have those memories etched in my head because they are really hard to handle sometimes. But I really think there is good and bad in all situations. While I am so grateful for having had the opportunity to meet Nicholas and I love him with all my heart, it was a very difficult having to hold him in my arms and give him back knowing I would never hold him again. As much as I would never give back that opportunity, my dreams and thoughts are constantly filled with looking at his little face and touching his cold cheek, knowing this was my child and I was never going to see him grow into a man.

    On the flip side though, I am sure I would be feeling the same way as you had it been different.

    Thanks again, I think you are right about him being to good for this world - that goes for all of our angels

    Mel

  3. #111
    kirsty Guest

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    Just a quickie from me atm.

    Just wanted to say Mel what a beautiful little man you have, & you should be very proud of the site you have created for him.

  4. #112

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    Mel - I didn't see Asha let alone hold her. I just couldn't. My first reaction when I knew she had died was to almost just want her out and pretend that she didn't exist, as horrible as that sounds. After a few hours when it had sunk in, I couldn't see her because I knew I would never be able to let her go:frown: My DP was actually away when we found out she had passed, and wasn't due back home until the next morning, by which time she had already been delivered by cesarean. He went and spent some time with her, which I am so glad he did as I feel he did it for the both of us when I wasn't strong enough. I am just telling you this because I want you to know that you made the right decision to spend time with your Nicholas, you really did. As hard as it is now to remember him like that, you will one day cherish those memories I am sure. We all grieve and deal with things differently, and for me, at this point, I still feel like I did the right thing for me at the time, but I still at times regret not seeing her and spending time with her and I am scared that one day I will really wish that I had. But as I said, I have to keep telling myself it was the right thing for me at the time. I am so glad that the hospital took some pictures and hand and foot prints for me, because I look at them all the time.

    Jo - I can see what you mean about not being able to see your babies. Maybe looking at your little miracle Brigid will give you a little hint of what they would have been like. And she is so cute by the way I just checked her out in your pics

  5. #113

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    Bailey - that support group sounds a little strange, doesn't it. Let me know how you go.

    Jo - you should be so proud of your little girl. She is just adorable. She is so right, that Nicholas looks like a sleeping baby - a gorgeous one.

    We are always second guessing decisions we have made. I think we have to remember that a lot of these decisions are made at a time where we are really not in the right state of mind, mostly in shock. I know I have at some stages over the past 2 months regretted some of the decisions I made, but I have realised (with the help of Mel - thanks ) that we think these are the right decisions at that time.

    I am so grateful that I was given the chance to hold and kiss my little angel and spend as much time as I wanted with him. DH and I made the decision that we would be the only ones to hold and see Cooper. To this day I feel some sort of regret that I didn't allow my parents and DH's parents to meet their first grandchild. This has been taken away from them and can never be given back. They all understand that it was our decision and they accept that but I think that deep down they would have loved to have met their grandson.

    Bailey - you have your precious photos of your angel and you can look at them as much as you want to. I have photos of Cooper and look at them all the time.

    Mel - I hope your cramps mean you are about to get your BFP - that would be awesome and I would be so excited for you. Will be thinking of you tomorrow, take care and be strong. Sending you a big

  6. #114

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    Mel: The way you put together Nicholas' web page was absolutely beautiful. You should be so proud of it and more importantly so proud of yourself for having the courage and strenght to do it for your little man. How are you feeling today? I know you were worried about today being a tough day so just know that I am sending you huge warm :hugs: filled with love and friendship. Oh the cramping, that sounds so familiar to what I had this time. I don't remember having it with the twins but this time I felt a very low continual cramping on my front and back. I can't remember exactly when it started but it was fairly early and continued until after I got my BFP. Oh boy I hope this is a BFP for you! I have everything crossed. When are you going to test? I know you are only about 7 DPO but knowing you I am sure your have tried a few already (lol). You deserve fantastic news and I am sending you every little bit of I can.

    Lynn - If you still want to, catching up sounds great. Sorry for the wrong email address it is [email protected] ( _ not . between my name) There is no au on the end. Hope that works. LOl about DH wanting 5 acres in Sydney. My DH thinks that we are going to be able to do that also one day, we better win the lottery also, but for now he will have to be content with the residential size block we have.

    Bailey: I know it would have been hard for you putting your little Angel in your signature but you should be so proud of yourself for doing it. Asha is such a beautiful name and I am sure it suits your perfect little angel. About the support group you have mentioned, I just don't know if it is right for me. I think a small informal gathering would be better for me at this stage. Because I am UTD at the moment, I don't want hear stories that get me any more worried (make that petrified) than I already am. Call me a sook but I don't think I am in a position to cope with that yet. Can I be a real coward and ask you how it goes? I would love to hear what you think of it. Also, about not wanting to hold Asha, I truely believe that we do what is right for us at the time. I know for a fact that Asha has the most wonderful loving mummy and nothing will change that.

    Clare: Well the freak out begins for the NT scan. I can only imagine how petrified you are but I am sure in my heart that it will be ok, well not ok, Fantastic. I have my first scan in 18 sleeps so I am getting into freak out mode also. When you have the scan you will have to post your pics.

    Well me, I had a crazy day at work yesterday and didn't get home until 8.00pm. So much for taking it easy. I advise the Minister for Workplace Relations about Industrial Law matters and there are a lot of employers not behaving at the moment so hence poor Spring has to work back. There was talk of going in today but I managed to avoid that. No one at work knows I'm pregnant so hopefully once I tell them they let me take it a bit easy. To be honest, it is great being so busy because the day just flys by. Well no more symptoms. I know I am a dill, but I did another HPT last night and the line was as dark as the control line within about 30 seconds. I guess I'm still tired and heaps of CM so that will have to do for symptoms for now.

    Anway gals, I have three days off so I am going to be in here often so I don't get behind again.

    Love ya guts
    Spring Angel

  7. #115

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    Just a quick one - Clare & Mel I have been reading your posts about cramping. I am probably putting it in mind and wishing that I had cramping, but I think i do. I don't remember ever having it with Cooper. I had a BT last Friday and got the results on Monday saying I hadn't o'd but on Saturday I got 2 dark lines on OPK and my temps went up on Tuesday. I went and saw my GP on Wednesday and she wants me to get a BT tomorrow. I just hope it says that I o'd so at least I know my body is working (a weird cycle, very late o'ing but at least working). I am only 4 DPO so not sure if cramping starts this early. It is probably just AF about to raise her ugly head :frown:

  8. #116

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    Mel sweetie - not sure if you are coming on line today but just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. Sending you a big

  9. #117

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    Thanks Kirsty, Spring, Lynn, Clare, Jo & Bailey - for looking at Nicholas' page, it means a lot to me And thanks to everyone who left a message in his guest book, it makes it so much more special (I have to admit I didn't realise there was a guest book on those pages until I read Spring said she signed Cooper's, lol).... And also thank you to everyone who is thinking of me today.

    Well strangely enough I am ok today, I think I may have had my freak out on Wednesday and it is out of my system. I remember I did that on 22 Sept which was the day Nicholas was meant to be induced. The day prior to 22nd I was a total mess and couldn't pull myself together at all, but then on the actual day my sister, BIL and nephew (niece wasn't born then but I guess technically she was there too, lol) came over to be with us and it was ok. I am so weird!

    Bailey - I agree with the other girls, you made the right decision about holding Asha at the time, each person is different and you have to remember that had you held her you may have a whole lot of different regrets now. While it was the right thing for some of us to do, everyone is different and it doesn't mean you did anything wrong, simply something different. And I really do think shock plays a big part in our decision at that time. I remember when I first found out Nicholas had passed away I sat myself down in the hallway and refused to get up saying I wasn't going to do this and I wanted to go home - that is not something I would do under normal circumstances, it something a child would do! Also when I first delivered Nicholas they asked me if I wanted him to go straight up onto my chest and I said no, not cause I didn't want to see him I honestly just didn't know what I wanted. They gave him a little wipe over and DH held him before I did, partly because I didn't think I could get through it. I remember just thinking to myself that I was gonna wake up soon. Whereas other mums on here held their bubs as soon as they could - each person reacts differently and can handle different things. You still loved Asha and she knew this because she felt it inside, I am sure she understands your decisions. Besides you had nearly 8 months of holding her inside your belly, this is what she would remember

    Lynn - Fingers crossed for cramping (although it isn't very pleasant!). I am pretty sure if you got dark lines on your OPK you would have o'd, I don't think they usually give false positives do they? If AF is about to raise her head, I hope she is kind and hopefully it means your cycle will start regulating for you - its the least mother nature can do huh!

    Spring - That sucks about having to work so late, you are right though keeping yourself busy is a good thing especially cause you have extra stuff to stress about now. But still make sure you look after yourself and that little bubba, and maybe tell your work early? If they know now they won't run you ragged, and they will be more understanding of tiredness and also if you DO get m/s they may noticed you running to the loo every 5 mins anyway, lol. I know what you mean about wanting m/s but maybe you just won't get it. Isn't it funny most women would be so envious of you, I remember when I was pg everyone always told me how lucky I was and how muc they hated me cause I never had one min of m/s... shoes on the other foot now admittedly, but it would make you feel so much better - in a way.

    Well, would you believe I have NOT done any tests yet. I feel a little more relaxed this month, I don't know why. I know I will still be a mess if and when AF arrives but at the moment I am not too stressed. I saw a dietician last Monday who told me that there has been new research showing that while TTC you should avoid alcohol because it can be linked to birth defects, despite the studies showing it wasn't too harmful. So of course I went home telling DH I can never drink and bla bla bla. Well, call me irresponsible but I have decided that I am going to! Not because I want to harm my baby, and I really don't drink all that much. But my family are coming over Sat night to celebrate my birthday and have a few drinks and play pool and stuff, and then Wednesday (actual bday) DH is taking me out to dinner and I keep thinking if I am not pg I will regret not enjoying my 30th so much and it will make it even harder to deal with. It's my 30th! I was meant to have my baby in my arms to help celebrate my 30th! Surely if I can't have that, the least I can ask for is to have a few drinks? Not write myself off, just enjoy myself!

    Anyways, I am actually 6DPO (I think) and I was thinking about doing a test today just for old times sake, LOL, but would expect that it is far too early to show anything so think I would just be torturing myself unnecessarily. So I won't test until Wednesday (give me the strength ), I think if I get a negative on Wednesday (11DPO) then I have permission to have a couple of Margarita's that night, if it is positive well I will know I can't - probably really strange reasoning but it's working for me right now. Aaaah, I don't know if any of that made sense but if it didn't just ignore me!

    Take care everybody,

    Mel

    P.S. Spring - give me a buzz over the weekend if you get a chance, haven't spoken to you since you got your bfp so want to hear the ins and outs. Otherwise I can call you but don't have syd number yet.

  10. #118
    kerry Guest

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    Mel - OK on the alcohol thing... my mum's ob (for all 4 of her kids) told her when pg with me a glass of champers first thing in the morning and last thing at night were the best cure for m/s. Well she took him at his word and did it with all of us, of her childrenshe has 2 honors degree uni students in the science field. The baby is currently studying wine science and vinyardry. So an occasional drink wont hurt. One of my friend s craved vodka and orange during her pg and her now 11 year old has been excellerated a year at school. Sending you huge giant fat BFP vibes.

    Lynn - definate O as far as I am concerned... sending BFP++++ vibes your way too.

    Wouldn't it be great if you all fell in together.. would leave me a bit lonely in here but so happy and joyous for you all I wouldn't care... would prob jump over and join you in the pg thread... I can justify it too as btdt... I have had a successful pg after m/c so would understand some of what you could go through.

  11. #119

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    Hey Jo, thanks for that... I remember the week before I found I was pg with Nicholas I was on holiday on Gold Coast for a week and spent most of that week getting pretty darn happy on margaritas and also went to Wet n Wild and did a belly flop on a water slide (accidentally) which actually hurt to the point where I wouldn't go on it again, I also copped a boogy board straight into my tummy at the beach. Then 4 days after we got home I found out I was 4 and 1/2 weeks pg (oops, lol) and although I did lose Nicholas in the end he did grow to 36 weeks gestation and all this stuff that happened early on had absolutely nothing to do with what happened. Therefore, I agree with you! It's not like I am an alcoholic and drink all day every day, I am only going to have a couple to enjoy my birthday and I am not going to guilt myself over it. Besides, I have in the last few months watched what I have done around 2WW and then gotten AF and been disappointed I missed out on something so bugger it... I am not going to miss out this time cause chances are more than likely AF will arrive anyway. How proud must your mum be!... go the champers

    It would be great if we all fell together, but if and when I do I probably won't want to leave TTC thread anyway - I may start to get involved in PG thread but I would continue in here cause I know everyone

  12. #120

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    Hello girls, I hope you're all enjoying Australia Day.

    Lynn - The support group does sound a little strange about how they need to call me and I guess "counsel" me before I can attend the group. I talked about it to a friend who pointed out that they probably get a few weirdo's try to go to the groups or call the help line that do it as a joke, so they probably just screen people first.That seemed to make sense. Either way, I will let you know how i go on tuesday when they call me. Oh and hopefully for you!!

    Spring - I am the same as you. I am not sure that the support group is for me, but then I have never been to one, and I figured that it couldn't hurt. But I think that you are right about not being good for you at the moment, you need to be hearing positive stories not things that would worry you more. I think that when I came home from the hospital, before we knew what had happened to Asha, I went a bit mad online looking up all the different causes of stillbirth, and now I know how many things can go wrong, it has scared me more......damn computer age But i think that because we are all in the same boat, in that we have all lost the innocence of pregnancy, the best thing we call all do, is support and encourage eachother. I think that if I were pregnant now, I wouldn't go either. But as I said to Lynn, I will let you guys know what it is like...well if they let me pass their stringent quality control Also, thanks for your words about me not seeing my girl, I do also believe, that we instintively do what we know we can deal with at the time, so I try not to beat myself up about it. Oh, and just to nag - take it easy at work and stop wasting your money on those HPT's - you ARE UTD!!!

    Mel - So right about me holding her in my belly, I never really thought about it that way, but when DP went to see her, I asked him if he was sure he wanted to and he pretty much said to me that i had got to hold her for 7 months so now it was his turn. So i knew that he was good with my decision, and I think I would feel alot worse if he didn't say something like that. Anyway, goodwork on holding back on your HPT's I would have done a couple by now. Now go and have a drink and enjoy your 30th...cos it's all down hill from here

    Thanks again for everyones kind words...you're all so wise.

  13. #121

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    Hi Girls

    Well we are back and totaly relaxed! Its very late and just popped in to say hi havnt caught up on all the posts but boy you girls can talk!!!!! cant we all born to talk and shop! Sounds like everone is well.

    Lynn and Mel Im not sure what to say, your beautiful sites you have created for your darling boys was........Just perfect. I must admit I have tears rolling down my face, you are both wonderful mum's and never ever forget that.

    I will post tomorrow and talk then.

    Sweet dreams to you all.

    P.S I would love to meet up with the Syd girls I will email you later.

  14. #122

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    Dream: I'd love to hear about your holiday when you get a chance. I hope you had a fantastic time! Boy am I jealous, we haven't had a proper holiday since our honeymoon 3 1/2 years ago. Always seem too busy but we are really going to have to find the time. It is great that you want to be part of our catch up. I'll let you know the details ASAP - Just email me at [email protected]

    Mel: I'm with the other girls concerning a few cold ones on your birthday. Before I found out I was pregnant with the twins I went to Friday Afternoon Drinks with work and had more glasses of champange then I would like to admit. As you said, your trip to the Gold Coast had absolutely nothing to do with what happened to Nicholas. God knows you deserve the best 30th ever so you go for it girl and enjoy yourself. Oh and if by chance you get a BFP on Wednesday, who cares about the Margaritas, you will be on a high anyway. How is the cramping going? Are you still getting it? I have for a in February.

    Lynn: I recon a +ive OPK is a great sign. Are you still getting your BT today? How long will the results take. I know before Cooper your cycle was a little out of whack but after having a child, some womens cycles get a kick start. I really hope this is the case for you, better still I hope for a Let us know how your BT goes.

    Kerrie: LMAO about your Mum and bubbly, that sounds like my sort of m/s cure. Now that I think of it I really craved beer during my pregnancy. I never drank it but there were some days that I was so desparate for it and I don't really drink it that often when I am not pregnant, go figure.

    Bailey: Lol about me being UTD. Don't worry I didn't waste my money on a HPT, I have two left. It makes sense that the support group want to check you out before going. I guess that is a good thing because as you said there are sadly plenty of weirdos out there. I did the same thing as you and went made googleing stillbirth. I read (and saw ) somethings that I wish I hadn't but I am just trying to put them out of my mind. Thanks for being Quality Control, you are a gem.

    Well we have an exciting day today. DH's cousin is taking us out on a boat on the Harbour for the afternoon. He had timeshare in a boat. They assure me it is 27ft which isn't like a tinny. I was a bit worried at first being UTD and being on a boat but I grilled DH's cousin and he said that it will be smooth. I didn't tell him I am UTD, I just pretended I get really seasick. Apparenetly it has room to sleep 6 and a bathroom so I guess it will be big enough not to be too rough. We are keeping the pregnancy a secret until 12 weeks. More so because I don't want my family to have to stress all over again, especially my Mum, Dad and my Sister, they have been such wonderful support that I wouldn't want to give the nervous breakdowns. Anyway, I am thinking about doing a website also, I talked to DH because I thought he would want to keep Harry's photos private but he is OK with the idea. I am going to leave it for a while because I am not up to it at the moment but I have been inspired my Lynn and Mel and all the other beautiful sites that you ladies have. I hope everyone had an awesome Australia Day.

    Take care my sweets,
    Mwah
    Spring Angel

  15. #123

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    Hi girls,
    Sorry it has been sooo long, its a silly time of year for us.

    Spring:The boat sounds great, hope the motion and ms doesnt give you a tough time...enjoy. Its nice to have the 12 weeks under the radar, I'm sure when I told people at 12 weeks they sighhhed. The site sounds great it is such a beautiful way to remember your little ones. Mine photos arnt as beautiful as all you wonderful girls. The midwife told me she looked alien like!!

    Bailey: Hun I couldnt hold Charlotte it was too hard and like you I had feelings I would nevr be able to give her back. Also whilst I was in labour they kept telling me conflicting stories such as she will be weird looking and I was scared I wouldnt be able to see her beauty. She DH got a quick hold as he accidently walked into my room after I was rushed to theratre and the midwife was wrapping her to take her to the pathologist and she asked he if would like to hold her...she was still alive bearly. I am so pleased he did it makes it easier to live with. Hence the only pics we got were taken by the pathogist they are very sterile.

    Mel: I really really really hope all these signs are leading to a BFP, and as for the drinking aspect my fertility specialist use to tell me to go home and have a chardie after IVF so that was always a doctors order. Nicholas's page is beautiful he is such a beautiful angel and son. Us Vic girls should get together too, let me know if anyone is interested. Ohh and happy Birthday if I miss it

    Lynne:Good luck on the BT, I too think that opk dont give false +'s. I hope everything starts to sort itself out again.

    Jo: How beautiful is Briget, I cant believe she is such a big girl. It only seems like yesterday you had her. She must be a brave little muffett to endure the injections.

    Nat:Your holiday sounds great so relaxing ...what we all need.

    Went and bought a whole heap of opk aparently I am supose to be more fertile now because of the diet..heres hoping
    Bec
    Last edited by Visitor9; January 27th, 2007 at 11:40 AM.

  16. #124

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    Hi Everyone,

    Nat - welcome back! We've missed you Hope you had a great time away. Would love to hear all about it.

    Spring - Have a safe fun trip on the boat this afternoon. It looks like a perfect day for it. I would love to see Harrison's website once you have done it. It is just such a wonderful way we can show our precious little angels.

    Mel - hope you have fun tonight with your family. Enjoy a drink too! Still got my fingers crossed for you for a BFP.

    Bec - good luck with the opk.

    Well I went and sat at the pathology place this morning for 2 hours!!! So I have had my second BT done now so I will stalk my ob on Monday and ring every hour until he has received the results. I am so nervous. I want it to be + so at least I know I am working!!! I don't know what I will do if it is -

  17. #125

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    Hi Girls,

    Well just sort of caught up with everyone just need to remember who was doing what!

    Mel- As Bec said My specl also told me its fine for a couple, implantation happens 7-10 days after O (Day 21-24) so technical the important parts start to develop around the time AF is due & even then its seems between 4-5weeks is the important time and you will know a BFP by then! My God I was 4weeks pregnant with DS skiing and drinking lots of red and snapps to find out when we got home what was going on and he is a very healthly 8yr, mind you with a taste for a good Cab/merlo! Have a drink and enjoy trust me your only 30 once. for a BFP anyway. Enjoy dinner tonight. Is your birthday on Wednesday? I loved your site for Nicholas......beautiful. You have a very good looking family with you,DH and the kids, I loved Nicholas photo on the wall the most perfect angel of all.

    Lynn- Your post just came in while im typing, dont you love all the oldies up there waiting for there blood test a big day out for them! I hope you get a big fat + aleast you know all is going well. Has you OB got you on metformin for the pcos as well as clomid? As I said last night your site to Cooper is just beautiful you girls have done a wonderful job and Cooper would be so happy. The garden is perfect it must be a comfort to be able to sit there and reflect and remember. Is it hot up your way today? I think Im going to jump in the pool after this.

    Spring - What a day for the Harbour and a 27ft is not to bad! You will not get much bummpyness on that. Your job sounds very intense I mean the govt and all you should advise that pregnant women need to rest!!! Im glad you didnt have to work yesterday. Im hopeing that you get some m/s soon......just for peace of mind but with DS I had none til about 8weeks so dont worry to much but I understand I always want m/s to the max, sore boobs headpins etcectect!! enjoy today its should be good fun I would love to be out there with you, very jealous!

    Bec - At least you have increased your fertility with the diet a very big +. Where are you at with starting to try? Hope you have a great weekend.

    Bailey - Im glad to see you here more I hope your are feeling better. Asha is such a pretty name, Im sure she was just a pretty. We all grieve different and deal with situations in our own way, never have regets and by the way you held her the longest ....in your womb and now in your heart forever. I agree sometimes to much info is not good but im just one of those person who just have to know (beside I started do Medicine at uni so Im a little bit like that anyway) But aleast we can question the Drs and make decisions that are good for us and our babies, and you never know find an answer to some of the mystery and find peace in knowing we did all we could. that important.

    Jo - Im glad to hear your at home and feeling better it must be so hard with Brigid I hope you have some good help. I sort of feel the same as you......a little jealous I never get to hold or see my babies but with the last five I have great ultarsound photos and cause I have them done from 5weeks I now have a collection till the D day and cause they are around 9 weeks you can see some of there faces outlined so I sort of have something. Which makes me feel a little better. I just wish we could all have shown our babies photos like everone else, and have them as well.

    Kirsty - Im glad you got the op over with I hope you get some answers and a big fat BFP soon. Have a great weekend.

    Clare - Hows that m/s going? ginger is also good for m/s there is also a blackmores morning sickness tablet that is suppost to be very good. Anyway I hope things improve soon.

    Well we had a wonderful time away it felt like we have been away for 2weeks, it was adventure packed. I killed a baby brown snake that just would not leave, even after we scared it off three times so with the kids we had to get rid of it, saw a shark and out in the boat one day we saw the helicopters picking up the water and dumpping it on the fires there were right above us, at one stage we had to move the boat as we were in the way!!!! We drank heaps, ate even more so now I have to get rid of the 5kilos from hoildays before the next 20!!!!!! Anyway we had a great time the kids had a ball and we are back in time for school to start. I feel the year is about to start for me when school is back... back to the routine. This is our last month of trying so Im hopeing something will happen Ive booked into to acupuncture on Monday. Anyway I think Im getting close to the longest post so I'll be off have a wonderful weekend be safe and I talk to you all later on, know wonder im hungry its lunch time!!!

  18. #126

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    Mel & Lynn your websites are very special ... I copied others too - I found out by googling stuff or seeing some elsewhere too.

    Sometimes we can only put memory things in our gallery becasue our photos are too special to share but I love Nicholas's photo and Copper's hand/foot prints. Brought tears to my eyes.

    I have that little angel statue too - the garden is lovely.I think Jo's idea for those renting is great. A few large planters and a statue yuo can move with you.

    I think the most special thing is the guestbook because people will write things they won't say in some cases.They can also read our emotion in the journal, share our peoms and see what others write ... like others who have lost their own angels and gain a deeper understanding IYKWIM.

    Spring - congratulations on being UTD - and I will keep you in my thoughts.It is a very tumultuous time filled with bittersweet memories and new fears as well as the old ones.

    The support group where I go has a few pregnant ladies - they don't come all the time though... I went until my last month before I was due. I stopped then because 1. I didn't want to make it hard for anyone new and 2.It was hard for me too.

    Our support group doesn't ask any questions or screen anyone - we haven't had any (m) weirdos.It isn't SID & Kids because they wouldn't let one lady finish the course as she was BFing and still is 2 yrs later.

    We have a social worker who is lovely but she just (brings tissues) mainly sits there and says ..." welcome - lets go round and introduce ourselves if you want" and ... then 2 hrs later "it is time to wrap this up -dpes anyone have anything they wish to say ? but you half hour more before you have to leave"

    The hospital mainly provide the room and refreshments.

    Jo - Bridie is gorgeous. I am sorry you didn't get to hold your angels.Dream too ... that is another tough thing to deal with.

    Bailey - I love the name Asha and yes it is hard to see our babies sometimes.I have cyber friends who didn't. One only just last week told me she looked at her son's photos for first time in over 2yrs. She has just had a new baby and I think she was curious to see similarities and it was just her right time.

    Everyone is right in saying we do what is best for us at the time and we can't live with regrets.We all have things we wish we did differently but hope we never have to again. Talking about it openly helps others.

    Your idea of meeting up is great.I met up with a two BB ladies I met in ttc amal last week.Though I have met them both before one individually and at other BB meetups-it was our first time altogether.

    I can see you are all developing a special bond with each other and supporting each other. I nod in agreement when reading your posts.
    Continue to go gently and with strength ladies ... your angels would eb so proud of you all for helping others like you do.

    Bec - goodluck ... I am thinking of you and hoping this does the trick for you.

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