Crumpet, Hello and welcome to our thred. I'm so sorry about your loss.I hope your TTC journey is a short one.
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thanks charlib......
i agree, going places where u see people who knew u were pregnant is very hard......
i definatly struggle to do that, i only saw my aunty for the first time today and i had Gus 6-7 weeks ago nowthankfully she pretended nothing had happened which i find better because i can deal with those sort of situations a lot better.
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Crumpet, Hello and welcome to our thred. I'm so sorry about your loss.
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Hello Lovely ladies,
A really selfish post today i'm just stopping in before i go to work. Well i know i said i'd like to have a break from TTC but we had a moment of weakness last monthand i haven't had a chance to get another one! I'm about 11 days late now and no sign of AF!
YAY!!! I'm sorry if i'm ranting.
I hope everyone has a great Friday!!
Bring on the weekend!!
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Hello everyone,
first welcome Charlie B and crumpet. So sorry to meet you this way. I sincerely hope both of your ttc journeys are short.
Charlie B- your feelings are totally normal. I remember feeling totally numb and lost. My parents came out to help us--we would come home and be unable to function--luckily my parents and good friends came through. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Those first weeks are so hard.....and it still is hard, but the routine starts pulling you through and you will smile again. Our doctor told us to wait 2 cycles after first AF. It took me 4 weeks to get that...I didn't start temping or doing OPK until then, and was ovulating right away. I am glad we were told to wait. I wanted a baby so bad and still do, (our loss was in November...this is only my second cycle ttc) but it can be scary and overwhelming. I was glad I gave it some time....plus there is some evidence that getting pregnant too early can increase your chances of miscarriage. It is your decision and only you know what is right for your body and heart, but this is my experience.
crumpet- So sorry to hear about your Gus.....I may have cervical incompetence (we are still not sure what happened) as well. I am happy to talk about it if you would like. How are you feeling/doing?
samcougar- Oh my goodness! I am SO hoping for you! It is so crazy things always seem to happen when people aren't trying. Have you taken another test? Fingers and toes are crossed that you are pregnant and everything goes wonderful for you.
beata- so sorry to hear about your kitty. We have two dogs and they are such an important part of our family. last month we had a cancer scare and were reminded how much we love them. It truly is losing a part of your family. I am so sorry.
dory, gigi1, blessed at last--hi! will write more personals later.
For me I think I am about 8 days post ovulation. I started out having a rough day last night. Last night at the dance studio I work at someone posted a gender and due date poll for the teacher who is pregnant (the one who got pregnant to get the guy she was with to marry her). She is only 13/14 weeks along…..it is crazy. I have been succeeding at ignoring it, but it just hurts you know……and was the first thing I thought of this morning, and then because I think I might be experiencing some pregnancy symptoms (but probably is my imagination) I took a pregnancy test WAY to early ---I am only 8-9 days post-ovulation and of course it was negative. That hurts too….AND I got an email from someone who I don’t see often at the school who sent me an email asking how my pregnancy was coming along and wishing me luck. Rough day......
Take care everyone!
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Samcougar - ohhhh I have everything, absolutely everything crossed. Sometimes the blessing we most need are the ones we don't expect.
Cmgelles - oh sweetie. I agree - very hard day. Give in to it and let it out. It hurts, I know. I think I had an inappropriate response to someone who asked me how my baby was. I said "oh dead", and a couple more after that too". The person struggled and stammered out, "but last time I saw you you were obviously pregnant". I replied that I had never been heavily or obviously pregnant at work and he must have been thinking of my friend. Anyway, we got past it, but sometimes I regret being so blunt, but at the same time, I was honest. It's crazy that so many people confuse me and my friend. I have had countless occassions where people have, including one other time where someone asked me how my bub was, just after my friend had had her DS ( now 8 months) and not long after Amelia had died and I remember thinking "dead" but then thinking, "oh you can't say that". Maybe I was just finally getting the courage to say what I thought in April, but saying it in February?
How's that snow coming?
Beata - oh, I am so sorry about your kitty. I agree with cmeggles. My kitties are part of me, and it's terrible when they are sick and their health fails. The problem about pets, is that we love them so much, unexpectedly sometimes, and it makes it so hard to say goodbye. A friend of mine used to have her darling kitties cremeated through a company in Aus called Pets at Peace. Don't know if that's something you want to consider? My darling Kaspar cat has a special garden with agapanthus and a japanese lantern and some big rocks in the back yard. I used to go and sit with him, but now just remember him fondly when the aggies are flowering.
AFM? Spent the day with my friend ( the one I refer to above) and her DD (3) and DS( 8 months) Amelia was due 4 weeks after her DS. I have such a connection with him and just adore him. He really gives me something tangible to think about in the pursuit of my dream. Such a cheeky monkey. But the end result of all that is that I didn't get my nana nap today and am really tired. I woke up about midnight tonight and couldn't get back to sleep. Now I am hungry. Hunger is never far away for me at the mo. I might see if I can head off to the land of nod ..... take care and have a good weekend.
Gigi1 - how are you?
news flash - I just yawned. Awesome. I am off to bed again....
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Samcougar
Well, WOW. Nothing like being swept up in the moment hun. I hope with all my heart that it is a new beginning for you and your DH. Let us know as soon as you want to...it will certainly be received with excitement in here. How very hopeful. Go and get a test NOW! Thrilled for you and waiting here with anticipation! Good luck. xx
Dory
So good to hear how you are doing even though you are tiring yourself! That was a rousing by the way LOL. Good to see the hunger...a very good thing. I think it is wonderful you find that your friends baby grounds you and connects you. You are a very strong lady hun. The children in my life do that same for me. Often it it the attached adults that make the problem. I can't feel the same way for a friends baby that was born the same week DD was due. It kills me with heartache.
I do find kids are uninhibited and that is comforting. They just 'are', nothing thought through, so literal. It is a huge comfort to life and our journey. Thinking of you sweety often and although i have your OB appointment in my diary for 2 weeks time...i can't get my head around how many weeks you are. If you don't mind mentioning it, but if you don't want to focus on that, i am fine with that too. I can probably say i will forget the minute you tell me! Not for any other reason than it is now not something i focus on either. I counted every month, week, day with my pg like i was obsessed...there it that word again. But now, i just want to know when someone is getting close to the birth. I want to know everything is ok. I will no doubt get back to how i was. I will learn to enjoy each moment again, but for now it causes me worry. With two SIL pregnant and 2 friends preg...i am surrounded and i just want to know they are all safe.
CharlieB
Wow, work...you are handling it all so gracefully. I think you are a very wise woman. Better days amongst the grey ones is sometimes all you can do...and all that is good. Keep going hun. I found the opposite...isn't that funny. I moved back to Aus a week before our DD died and 6weeks before she was finally born. I longed to be around people that knew i was pregnant and knew what happened so i didn't have to explain but also i think it was a lot to do with my need to feel that she was real, existed and affected other peoples lives. No one new what i looked like pregnant. The last time they saw me was not pregnant...and then, bam i was not pregnant again but with no baby. I wanted to go back to the UK where she lived her longest time. Funny hey how we are with these things. We conjure up a plan to stay safe and i think the best thing is to stick by it as best you can. The plan will change at different times, but i never preempt it other than to give myself more time and space around times that i want to give energy back to DD e.g. dates and inuition The concentration thing...totally normal. I am aproaching 12mths and still find it hard sometimes. It is like i have lost brain cells. I couldn't drive for ages. I mean, I couldn't but i wouldn't dare. I tried but my concentration was so bad i would nearly kill myself with silly mistakes. It was like i had blinkers on. As for work...a long time for me to concentrate on more than one thing at once. i am a chef, and i was trying my very best to do things around the house but burned dinner so many times. Too much at once was a very hard thing for me...hard when it was how i survived before. Learned that the hard way. Keep going hun, you are doing so well. Save some time for yourself each day, each hour. I can't recommend that enough. Give to yourself.
Cmegles
WOw, hard day. Sweety, take a nice bath and have a cry if that is what you feel like doing. TWW are hard enough without all the other stuff you have to handle. I remember the neighbours to bro and SIL house that we stayed when we first got back were talking to us one day after DD was born and asked how our baby was...'How is your baby, it is quiet, we never here it?' I nearly died. It was only a few weeks after. I told them, nicely and softly...'no you wouldn't, she was stillborn' They just about fell over. I ended up comforting them as they felt so bad. But a couple of minutes later i had to pick my nephew up and walk away or would colapse. I left my SIL there to continue to change the subject. It was horrible. I find for me that i reach a threshold. I do what i set out to do and then i have to walk away as i can't handle any more. Sometimes i don't make it that far. But i make sure to challenge myself a little for DD. I want her remembered. I was and am quite obsessed about that. Funny how until becoming a mother...i never used the word obsessed so frequently. HMmm Thinking of you hun and wishing you all the luck i can muster.
Crumpet
Hun, I welcome you with heavy heart. Sorry you have to be here but hope you find comfort and support in here. The ladies are lovely here...i tend not to go anywhere else other than my blog. I am sorry to hear about your darling Gus. What a wonderfully strong name, love it. I hope you feel him around you still, helping you through this.
Others, hope you are traveling well and your dream is one step closer.
AFM-
Yep AF late but absolutely no fear of being Preg as we gave it no chance having this virus. I do know i ovulated late and it is good to see my body following in suit. At least i can count on that! Well tomorrow is my SIL Baby shower and I told her that the virus is still active so i won't stay long. She understood but made sure that i could stay if i wanted. I think she was a little put out but i am sure she will get it. SHe has not antibodies for it and there is another potentially preg person there. I would just NEVER forgive myself if someones baby was affected and i was the cause of that. I know this can happen anywhere, but i would die with the blame. ~I just couldn't live with that. Oh...dear, i feel so worried about it. It is a risk i don't want to take.
HOwever, all actions stations on the food etc. I am wearing gloves! I have been putting a lot of energy towards it. She knows that if i find it too much then i will say but i will not anticipate the worst because i might be fine. There is a good chance i will be just fine. Sure i have a lump in my throat already but i get myself busy and concentrate on the food and stuf. I spent the night...until 2 am putting together a playlist for it. Hope she likes it. My other SIL and i set up for it last night. I am just treating it like a party and trying not to even entertain the idea that i never had one and not sure if i ever want one. I decided that i will have one after the baby is born if i have that chance. So it looks great, we have hung butterflies everywhere, and lillies, so beautiful. My darling nephew stands underneath (2yrs) and says...OHhhh Wooooweee, soooo smazing, pritty, ohhhh! So cute. I better get going on the food.
Had a lovely day with nephew yesterday. Next month is out for TTC with this virus still. Got a good day with DH to sort out our messy finances with is awesome. I feel like i can breath again. It is mega tight for us for a long while atm but at least there is a plan. So relieving. It was a lovely day together, i know that is weird...how fun going through bank balances! but it was. Found a bit of fraud which we will only get half of back. Never mind, we have not been so vigilant with things this year for good reason so we just have to let that go.
Car is fixed. yay, she is pretty again.
Got an appointment this week that i am looking forward to up in Noosa. Will have a gelati for DD. Went to the Gp this week, feel a little violated! Went as a new patient for a pap smear and my god, i got the lot. Breast exam, full naked skin search, pap, BP, weight, height, etc etc...oh and an internal. That is the first that has ever happened. I was a little shocked. She was nice but i just felt quite shocked after it all when i was not prepared for it. I had a kind of panic attack in bed last week, completely freaked out and couldn't go to sleep. I was terrified of dying and that there was something wrong with me. Found some reasons for it, but boy it scared me. I didn't want to shut my eyes. It was crazy. I ended up nursing DD ashes all night which calmed me so quickly. I thought before that moment that i would explode.
HMmm the mind and body go through so much...consciously and unconsciously, rational and irrational. It is fascinating really.
Better go, today i am doing ok. SOrry this is so very long...not like me at all LOL. xoox
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hi samcougar.....Crumpet, Hello and welcome to our thred. I'm so sorry about your loss.
thanks for ur welcome....
thanks for ur welcome hun......
oh wow really? i was starting to think i was the only one, i havnt found many ppl with it!
so u havnt been diagnosed with it yet?
im going well, i think...... its been 6 weeks so im defiantly learning to adapt to things and learning how to handle things better so that makes it easier i suppose.
some days are hell, but i guess thats normal too....
we have only just this week decided to TTC again, good timing really coz ill be O-ing anytime from now to next weekend i think.....
its a bit hard to track seeing i havnt really had a full cycle since i deliverd Gus..... i bleed for 2 weeks then i got AF for four days 3 weeks after that, which brings me to where i am now......
hope everyone is having a nice weekend!
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Crumpet,
I forgot to mention that i girl i worked with had incompetent cervix and she had lost her twins, one and then the other a month later. Once diagnosed and the stitch placed, she went on to carry and deliver a healthy baby. I know the last thing i want to hear are successful stories when i am grieving so i hope this is not too rude and insensitive mentioning it. I just wanted to say that once diagnosed, thankfully, so much is possible. I am just so sorry you have gone through what you have, losing Gus. xx
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thanks for ur welcome, im sorry i missed ur post before!!!!
thank you, we picked his name coz we felt it was quite strong, little did we know when we picked it at 12 weeks what we were in for ........
hope ur feeling better soon!! what sort of virus have u got, hope not like gastro or soemthing??
oh god, thats a bit full on hey!! least u know she is throrough!!1
oh hun no i dont find it rude or insensitive at all, in fact i find it quite comforting to hear of success stories!! it makes me feel better knowing there is a good chance ill be one of the successful ones....our OB has said the stats are round 90% of stitching cases are sucessful so thats good!!!
thanks hun thats very sweet of u
xxx
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Hi Ladies,
I am leaving this thread. For reason's I do not want to go into DP and I have seperated. I found somewhere to live and am moving in the next few days.. I am devastated. I wish all of you good luck in your journeys, I will still stalk you from time to time. I am hoping our seperation isn't permanent and maybe when the time is right I will be back in this thread. Thanks so much for all of your support. No personals too mentally drained and sad :'(
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Hi ladies
Blessedatlast - I am so sorry to hear you and DP have separated. I hope that you can work it out but in the mean time, look after yourself. Take care hun
Hi to Crumpet and CharlieB - welcome to our thread. It makes my heart ache that that brings the count to 3 new ladies we have welcomed in the last few weeks. I hope you find this thread as supportive and caring as I have had. The circumstances that have led each of here are different but in the end we have something in common. And we all understand where you are at the moment. I agree with Gigi1 - make sure to give yourself some time, each day, to feel what you need to feel. The emotions are most likely still very raw at the moment so go easy on yourselves and don't feel you need to push yourselves to return to 'normal'. It has been almost 12 months for us, and I don't think we will ever be the same again.
Hi Gigi1 - I hope you get through your SIL's party ok today
Hi Dory - yes, you are one of the ones we worry about! I hope all is going well. You need to look after yourself and get your rest! When do you see your ob again? Take care hun
Beata - we have 4 furbaby pussycats. When we go away, even for a weekend, I miss them. We are very lucky that they are all very healthy at the moment but 2 of them (they are sisters) turn 10 at the end of the year. I call them my grannies. I worry about how long they will be around and even more how they will be when/if one goes before the other. They are such good friends and companions and not really friendly with other 2 who are much younger. Still I can only protect them from so many things - I can't protect them from old age and what that brings with it. Doesn't make it any easier though. And yes, I worry about you too!
Cmegelles - hun it is hard when people ask about your pg without even beginning to understand the hurt that it can bring. I had someone send me a message through FB asking the same thing. I guess the thing that helped me was that there was no malice meant in the question. It was just a friend asking about me. I sent a short reply telling him that we had lost our son. He was very supportive - he had lost his mum only a few months earlier - and was respectful of our space - it was what he had needed as well. After I went back to work, I found the hardest part was seeing other women who were pg and about the stage that I should have been - the stage where most are showing. They were everywhere. But I got through it and you will too. Just give yourself some time.
Samcougar - how exciting for you! Have you had a chance to buy another test yet? I wouldn't be able to sleep if it was me! I would be down at the out of hours chemist buying a handful of tests. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you!
AFM - in the middle of the TWW. I have been working too hard these last few weeks and I had to spend yesterday having a quiet day. I had a foggy headache and sore throat and felt physically exhausted. So I had a 3 hour nap in the afternoon which resulted in us missing a BBQ that we had said we were going to. I just couldn't face being social - I was too tired. And then last night I slept for about 11 hours. I am still not 100% but will try not to overdo it today. I am pretty sure none of this early pg symptoms as my body has done this to me before when I have pushed the envelope too much. I need to destress and relax more. Thank goodness it is a long weekend here!
Take care all and babydust to everyone!
oxo
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so sorry to hear that, i hope things work out for u......
thank you for ur welcome!!!
it sux to have to meet in this way but im looking forward to getting to know everyone....
good luck with the TWW!!!
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Blessed - oh sweetie. I am so sad to hear about your separation, and I do hope its only temporary. You are a strong and amazing woman, and you will come through these troubled times. You don't have to go, but I understand why you would want to or why you feel the need to. I will miss you, lots and lots. I carry you and Seth and Tait close to my heart. You are an inspiration to me, never forget how much help you support you have offered and given. Will you be in any other threads?
On another note, whilst I don't wish to tarnish any hopes you might have of reconciliation with your DP, be smart about this separation, if you can. You need to protect yourself as much as you can, financially whilst you are hurting emotionally - so if you can make sure you sever any joint accounts you have, change pin numbers if DP knows them, make sure you get copies of important papers and be upfront with DP ( if you can) about financial arrangements if you have joint commitments ( ie who pays for what). Also think about updating your will and the nomination of the beneficiary on your superannuation account if you have one. I know its sounds harsh but a lot of women don't think about these things and are trusting, thinking it would never happen to them. Sadly for some, it does and they are left high and dry financially. Whilst that probably doesn't count for much for you now, it might be important for you in the future. I went through this with some friends of mine and these are the sorts of things they were told. I hope I haven't upset you by bringing this up. I know its tough. Be strong my friend.
I will respond to other posts later.
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Chez - you take care of yourself - you hear? I am worried about you. Take a lesson from your furbabies - they have resting to a fine art. No guilt, just pure entitlement to it. Now I have managed to slow down, I want the same for others, for others to have the benefits. Have to say though I am worried about become a super bouncy beach ball with all this lazing around "resting". Oh well can't have it all.
Samcougar- any news? ......... anxiously waiting.......
Gigi1 - how did you go today? The preparations you put into the party are amazing. I would love it if someone did that for me. Know what you mean about not being sure if you want one for yourself.... what is the special Noosa appointment? Have I missed something?
Cmegelles - hiya! Sorry that things are so confusing for you....hopefully.....?
Crumpet - There's a lot of research on cervical incompetence, and some of the figures are really promising. You'll get there! I am the subject of a big debate - do I have incompet cervix or not? Can that be the cause of my preterm labour? One school says it's not clear - I don't fit the classical definition and some of the classical indicators are not there. It's not ruled out, but it's not clear cut either. The other school says - asbolutely. Get a stitch and get it early. One of the very concerning risks for me is risk of infection following the proceedure. One school days, no worries we'll knock it out with a good dose of i/v antibiotics, the other says, with you? Not so sure. Anyway, the end result of all of that, is there are no clear answers for me and I am going to be faced with a big decision fairly soon. A bit scary really, to have the future of this pg so squarely in my hands, and experts at 20 paces not able to offer a clear path.
AFM? Not much going on. DH went rock climbing yesterday and surprised himself by enjoying it. Though he is a touch sore today. I spectated and it was weird for me to be watching instead of participating. Have a good week.
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Hi again ladies..
Well, DP and I are still together.. I had the place all ready to move into but I just couldn't bring myself to pack my stuff and leave.. We do love each other but communication is a problem.. I do it too much, he not at all.. We both don't want the relationship to end and both agree there needs to be changes. We are going to try counselling. I am all for it, he said he would try it, anything to try and save our relationship.. We have been through so much together with our babies and DSS too, since I have been around since he was 1. I guess this is one last shot.. I don't know if I am playing the blame game here but I do feel that he is the one that needs to make some changes. I'm not saying I am perfect, but I open up where as he shuts off and lets things build up.. It's like he lives in a state of denial sometimes as opposed to dealing with the problem..Anyway, thanks so much for your support ladies.. Wish us luck with our counselling..
Dory - No you didn't upset me by your post.. I know how important it is to cover my a$$ in case of anything happening
I will continue to stalk although we are off the TTC path for a bit! Although I am still on my herbs because they are keeping AF away!
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Hello ladies,
My pussy cat went to heaven on Tuesday, she died in my arms. I cried like a baby and still can't belive she's gone. I expect to see her any minute coming in to ask for food (her favourite) or to see her basking in the sunshine (second favourite). I'm going in to hossy next week on Tuesday, but it's been so hard getting excited. Don't think badly of me girls, I will be excited, and I know deep down I am, but I'm so heart broken ATM as I miss my furbaby sooooo much. Thanks girls for your lovely words
CharlieB and crumpet, I'm so sorry for your losses girls
Dori, I'm glad all is well at your end. Take it easy hun and remember to always look after yourself.
GiGi, I hope you're feeling better hun and that the virus is out of your system, so you can TTC soon.
Samcougar, cmeglles & Cheryl,
Blessedatlast, I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard patch ATM. I
Catch up with you all soon.
B x
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Good Morning Ladies,
Beata- I'm so sorry about your cat, It's such a tough decision to have any animal put to sleep. I hope your Ok
Blessed- I hope everything works out ok with you and DP, I hope counselling helps you work out your differences. Goodluck hun.
Chez- Please slow down and relax, don't push it too much! Being stressed and tired never helps anyone, it only adds to problems. Be gentle with yourself you deserve that. Goodluck with your TWW.
Hello to Dory, Gigi, Crumpet, Cmeglles and CharlieB, I hope i havent missed anyone.
well BFN for me. So just waiting for AF to arrive, I think this has made us more determined to try again, being so close but so far away. so full steam ahead from now on!
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Hi ladies
Blessedatlast - I am so pleased to here that you and DP are giving it another shot. Facing your relationship problems can be one life's hardest but most rewarding challenges. I hope that counselling brings what your DP needs and he starts to open up a bit more. I wish you and DP all the best for the future
Samcougar - sorry about your BFN hun. Good on you for not letting it get you down - full steam ahead - great attitude!
Beata - how sad for you to have lost your pussy cat, and having her pass away in your arms must have been heartwrenching. I can't imagine what that would be like. I got one of my cats cremated and I have her ashes with me in my study, beside a photo of her. I still think about her and am glad that I have her close to me. On another note... what are you in hospital for next week? Is that time already?
Dory - thanks hun. I am feeling much better now. I had a reasonably quiet day yesterday and plan to have a relaxing afternoon today. I have decided to make sure I leave work by 4.30pm each day, regardless. Staying for that extra 30 mins or an hour won't make all of my work go away. And I will try to get out of the office, even if it just for 15 mins each day to get some fresh air and think about something other than work.
Hi to crumpet, charlieB, Gigi1 and everyone else! Hope you are doing ok.
AFM, nothing to update. DH leaves for interstate again this afternoon, but he's only away for one night this time. I don't like it when he goes away, but I will try to keep myself distracted with a jigsaw puzzle that I spent several hours on yesterday. I hadn't touched it since Christmas. I love doing jigsaws - they turn my brain off and I feel very relaxed, which must be a good thing!
Gotta go and get some lunch. Take care all.
oxo
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