damn it all. i wish i could give you all big hugs. tm is right, it just isn't fair, is sucks and it is such a nasty rollercoaster with no way to get off.

Katie, go ahead and be depressed. it isn't right that you have to go back to picking up your life. you aren't the same now, and why should it be. all of these steps eventually might help get you back to where things aren't completely a gaping wound, but they hurt so damn bad. i cried at least once a week at work when i first got back -- and that was just for the being back at work reason and not all the thoughts going round in my head. big hugs to you my dear. i hope your ob has some answers too. it seemed to take for ever for my bleeding to stop too - it makes it so much harder because we are so obsessed by it.
Barbara- ikwym about "little" things setting one off. i remember seeing a lady in the store with the same pregnancy top i loved the most, and she was buying all sorts of baby things. i couldn't stop the tears, and it took all my energy just to get home and crawl into bed. they aren't so little when they are the only things we have. big hugs.