Hi Barbara, Tempus and Auntie M. Thank you so much for your messages. It helps to know I am not alone. The hard thing for me is when I get down, I tend to then become extremely negative and that causes me to spiral even further. I have always been like that and so now that I really am feeling terrible, it can become quite severe. It also means that DH and my mother find it difficult to help me because I don't want to hear positive things. I think I will speak with the counsellor from SIDS again. I don't want my whole like to become solely about waiting for another baby to come along. I just feel like I am trapped in time and I am not moving forward. I spoke to my sister on the Sunday night (she has had 2 late mcs) and she told me that I need to relax and not get up caught in the technical aspects. Her advise was to just get back trying again. After her first MC (she already had 3 children prior) she fell pregnant again 2-3 months after, and went full term and has a healthy girl. I know she is right, but I find it hard to relax. I always need to know things. She said that it is important that I believe that I can carry a baby full term.

Barbara - so sorry to hear you had a hard day on the weekend as well. I hope you are feeling a little better at the moment.

I was at a lovely shop on Sunday and they had beautiful baby things and the nappy bag that I had intended to buy. It got me down (I was already down but you know what I mean). I kept thinking that I should have been excited and buying something, but instead I could hardly bring myself to even look at them. It is so strange to go from actively looking at baby things and making purchases, to not even wanting to be near them.

I am feeling a little better today. We have our 6 week follow up appointment this afternoon. I am nervous but keeping myself busy working over the questions I have. I am going to ask for a couple of blood tests to be done, and if he doesn't think they are necessary I will get my GP to do them. The naturopath is interested in me getting some tests done, so no matter what I will be having them.

Hope you are all having an okay day. Take care. And thank you all so much, you have been a constant source of comfort and support.