TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after 1st trimester ~ December 07

[tempus moriendi]

jo76: congrats on the end of bleeding and good luck with the house thing.
But what a shame for you and your customer--such bad luck at the same time, but at least you both understand what the other is going through.

Anthonysmom: I'm pulling for you

Katiegirl: without knowing more about your relationship--is she somebody who's sensitive? are you comfortable around her usually? are you planning to spend a lot of one-on-one time with her or in a group? if she asks you how you are and you say something like "hanging in there" maybe she'll get the hint to be sensitive to your feelings. I don't know. Good luck.

[angelicdragon]

Barbara I have added in Ians name.
Thank you for your mssages. I write the names because our babies should not be forgotten and it i sjust one way of showing to the world that they did exist. They may never have drawn a breath, or in some cases they did but it was for such a short time.. but our babies made us mummies (and daddies)

I know the heartache in TTC after stillbirth. I do have one Rainbow baby who was 3 in September but since January 2005 we have had no luck. Only miscarriages.

AuntyM I did get around to doing Yetis name too.

I am packing for a week in Melbourne so must go.
hugs to you all and babydust

Jude

[Auntie M]

howdy everyone.
Barbara- it does never go away - but the fresh pain does scab over a little. somebody said to me - it is always a part of me, just not the biggest part anymore. yes, Peanut does squirm about, but the restful times cause such panic. i don't know how to combat it sometimes. sorry about the obnoxious lady at your conference. she must be thick. damn it on af- she hasn't come yet though?
Katie- thanks- it is so difficult to believe Peanut will be okay, but i am thankful for each moment with her. one day at a time. no hints from me on the friend encounter - i've failed miserably on many of those situations. the only thing i can say is make a plan to be out in a short period of time, and have a way to let your dh know that you need to go sooner if it goes badly.
Jo- woohoo on the spotting stopping.
Judy- i posted to you on the other site, but will here too. you are amazing to remember our angels in such a sweet way -- it touches me and dh more than i can ever let you know. big hugs to you. and i see you are hoping to be grandparents soon -- congratulations!

[Anthonysmom]

Hi ladies - I feel like I have had my had up my a$$ for a fe wdays (sorry about the vulgarity) DH and I are doing renovations and I expected one price and DH another. Well it is more than I expected and am quite nervous. arghh!! i just think that if i was still preg with Anthony all this would never even have been a question. i also got test results back from my OB today (which has also had me crazed) but all good news!! after running all tests known to man from the 9vials of blood she took everything seems to be negative (blood sugar, clotting, thyroid, etc.) things are starting to point to "just one of those things" which is a saying I hate with passion. DH and I are going away on thursday to meet our goddaughter for the first time. she was born 5 days after anthony. i am nervous and excited all in one. my best friend asked me what she could do for me. i told her to cry with me and listen. she was happy b/c she said she knows there can be a lot of crying (from her) and she didn't want to upset me. also my temps went back up today. so i have narrowed it down to 3 things. it is so cold here right now that it is messing with my temps(sometime sI have 1 blanket sometimes 4) i am nutso and am looking into things too much, or it was an implantation dip. i just recently joined FF and they send you these lessons to help teach you about your cycle. wouldn't you know I just got to the one that talks about implantation dips around day 7-10 (I was on day 8) i am desperately trying to not drive myself nts (too late). i am also not eating sushi and soft cheese til i know for sure. keeping my fingers crossed.

Judy - Once again you are an angel and thank you so much.

Katie - when dealng with people i think it matters on the other person. i am praying that your friend is sensitive to you. try to be patient with her, no one really knows how to talk to us anymore. also i went to the genteic counselor today. i haven't answered you sooner b/c i wasn't too sure what she was going to do either. anyway shw takes a very detailed family history of both me and DH looking for illnesses, disorders, cancers, female problems, everything. based on that and my pregnancy hidtory she determines whether DH and I qualify to have our chromosomes tested for problems. sometmes peopke have problems with the strucute of their own chromosomes and don't know it until they try to reproduce. we both qualified b/c our m/c was late and DH's mom had a stillborna nd early m/c and my own mom had a very hard time conceiving (16 years). now we wait another 2 weeks to get results back (why does everything take 2 weeks??) this is a long shot but hey at thsi point I am covering all bases. sorry for the rant hope all goes well with your friend and happy b-day to DH.

Auntie M - it is easier said then believed but I know that pea is fine. no one wants to move around all the time. anymore luck on baby names?

TM and Jo - hope all is well with you ladies.

Barbara

[Katiegirl]

Thanks Barbara and everyone else. My friend is a lovely person and I sure she will be sensitive. I am planning on allowing myself to walk away after saying hello if I find it too much to be around her. The group of friends that she is a part of all have young children so I am guessing they will be sitting down etc. Where as I have other friends coming who are single and far removed from children, so will probably be with them for most of the night.

Also Barbara, I am glad that you are okay with the results you go back. I also hate the 'these things happen' comment. I will keep my fingers crossed for you as well - it will be so exciting when we get some bfps in here.

We have officially started to TTC, and I am hoping things move along quickly. It is impossible to know for certain if I had AF when I thought I did due to repeated spotting. I think I might have ovulated over the last few days, so that was the reason we decided to start TTCing. The naturopath had told me to wait until the end of the month, but I am impatient and this felt like the right thing to do. It is so easy to get caught up in what other people tell us, mainly I presume because we have so few answers to our losses, and desperately want people to point us in the right direction. My sister who has suffered 2 late MCs (but also has 4 healthy beautiful children) told me that I should do what is right, and start TTCing as soon as possible if that felt right. She said that she thought waiting to long would make us scared and decrease the chance of conceiving. I think she is right. It is strange though because we weren't really trying (but not preventing either) when we conceived Nathaniel, and so he was a lovely surprise. This time I guess I am more aware and it seems different. Trying not to get my hopes up though....easier said than done.

[jo76]

hi everyone...
off work today as josh was sick last night and it seems to have passed onto me. BLARGH!
we got the house and move in on march 25th. Very excited that that part of my life really seems to have moved on. Unforunealty everything our agent told us to do has gone out the window as i ended up too sick to remember it! oops! Barbara - i know what you mean about costs with houses, we actually went a bit over our original ideal budget with buying this one but the more i think about it the more it will work out in the long run to have got this house as it is somewhere we can be for quite awhile now. I also KWYM by the "its just one of those things" - it still bugs me that that is all i have to explain how someone who was the start of many dreams was taken away. I know i will be just like you tho, if i even think i am close to being preg, i'll avoid all those "bad foods", i can actually become quite anal with stuff like that! (sorry for lack of a better word!)
still no spotting so i think i can safely say i am done on it now for sure until AF which at least will give me an indication of where i am at. My body is displaying some of its usual pre-AF symptoms but unlike some of you i am not temping or anything just yet. I think i will for a few months just take whatever comes and if it happens again for us it happens and then after that look into checking everything like my temps. i think i just lik it would be one more thing to put pressure on myself so i kinda just want to have some hope in nature doing something nice for me!
Katiegirl - i am the same as you tho we have just started trying without "trying",DH and I both know what we are doing but i don't want to put pressure on myself although i know i will at some stage. I think in some way we need to follow our gut feelings also and def do what we think is right for us. We are the ones at the end of the day that need to deal with our feelings/and bodies head on etc.
hope the rest of you are all ok! I really hope too that 2008 brings some happy news for us all and i am so happy to have found this site to have my little releases! This site and you all have been a very big part of helping me get through my feelings!xxx

[tempus moriendi]

Anthonysmom: You're lucky to have a friend you can be real with. Best of luck and fingers crossed.

Katiegirl: good luck with TTC. sometimes you just have to follow your own heart

jo76: congrats about the house!

[Katiegirl]

Hi Everyone. I need some advise. I think I Oed on the weekend (possibly) and I have started wondering the last 2 days whether it could have been successful. With my last pregnancy I did not pick up until I was 5 weeks and 3 days past AF - but the moment I became aware of this, I noticed how high my body temp was at night when lying in bed. So the past 2 days I have started to think that I feel hotter. Then this morning I woke at 5:30 in a sweat and DH even commented on it. I am sitting here with what feels like hot flushes - but temp is around 36.5. I have been sitting around 36.3 until today. So what do you think....is it way too early to think I may be pregnant? I need a fan on me!!!

[Anthonysmom]

just a quick note from me as I am gettign ready for work. DH and I are leaving this afternoon to meet our goddaughter. i am excited and nervous. anyway i wanted to say have a nice weekend. unfortunately my temp seems to be dropping. i am not that upset this month, but I hope it is a quick TTC journey... for all of us.

barbara

[tempus moriendi]

Anthonysmom: enjoy your trip!

[jo76]

hi katie! can't believe i wrote you back last night and somehow i have erased it as it did'nt make it on this page....how are things? how are your temps going today? i would love to give you advise but i am pretty hopeless on this topic, the biggest preg symptom for me is tiredness as i never experience anything else and since i don't have any experience with temping i am not really sure of what means what! sorry! and what makes it worse for us is the "did we did'nt we" question of our AF during all our spotting etc so that is my confusion at the moment for me. Going by when the bleeding changed to extra heavy etc (and what my OB said could have been a AF) i would "normally" be due today due to my reg cycle length, so who knows? if you get any responses from anyone off this forum let us know. until then, take care! have a fab Aust Day weekend (i actually have it off for a change! WO-HO!)
barbara - have a great weekend too! Take it easy and just go with the flow!
tm - how are YOU? you are always so supportive for the rest of us!...

[Anthonysmom]

hi ladies - just a quick note from me. i just got back from airport. what an ordeal. my flight was 45 minutes late due to air traffic and then my cousin's car got towed because he is an idiot. my goddaughter is wonderful!! i did get AF on Saturday. I am okay with it. But boy she must be mad at me b/c she is very very heavy.

Barbara

[tempus moriendi]

I read in one of my nursing journals that in some cultures heavy menses are considered a good thing because they see the menstrual cycle as cleaning out your system. (Gotta find that silver lining, right?)

[Katiegirl]

Hi all. It has been quiet in this thread. I am being brave today. For the past month I have worked from home (I am the only representative for my company in Melb) - and today I was brave and came back to the office I have. I was dreading having to face people etc, but it has worked out okay. I did go into my usual cafe and the woman there was chatting to me and kept looking at my stomach. Last time she saw me I told her I was 18 weeks pregnant, so she must have been wondering. I was waiting for her to ask how the pregnancy was but she never did - so I didn't say anything either. It felt weird, but at least that is another thing I was scared of that I have conquered.

Went to the naturopath and she said that looking at my temps alone it looks like I haven't ovulated. Using FF I should now be 15DPO - so not sure what to think. If I still have ovulated than it means I have a long wait ahead of me. Joy. She also said I am low in Iodine so that is another tablet to add to my collection.

I am feeling okay today though. It was good to push myself a little and realise I can do things that I thought would upset me. This morning I felt down because I took my temp and realised that it is dropping again. The good news is that instead of that meaning I have a day that spirals down, I have managed to focus on other things.

Anyway that is my rant - hope you are all well.

[jo76]

hey everyone...
have been busy packing up my house so while i have been on quickly have'nt had a good chance to look around. Can't wait till it is all done - by this weekend we will be out of here and then just have to wait 8 weeks to get into our new one! We are moving in with friends for awhile which will be hard as it will take me out of my "late night time out" time. if i need a teary i'll be rushing to their toilet!
i got my AF which i am surprisingly happy about. i think only because now i have an AF to actually date from should anything decide to happen. And i think most of all it is a sign that my body at least is moving forward. So barbara...i am feeling your pain as it is heavy and tempus thanks for your "silver lining" outlook on the bleeding. i was shopping today and had to rush out of the centre as i bled right through,it had'nt even been long enough to worry but i freaked out nonetheless. it was the moment where you can't walk quick enough and hope no one could notice anything, eventhough as uncomfy as it was for me they would never have been able to tell. So i really hope it is an extra clean out for me!
Katie - congrats on the strong face with the cafe lady -you have spoken about how worried you were to deal with something like that and eventhough nothing was said the situation was still there which in its silence can almost be worse. So you did well...this is one of your steps forward! We need to take all of them that we can get. When do you see the new OB - is'nt that this month? Maybe that will help answer some of those questions you have re: temps and give you another spin on it and what your body is doing.

[tempus moriendi]

Katiegirl: sending a cyberhug because you sound kinda down today.

jo76: good luck!

[Katiegirl]

TM: Thanks for the hug. I don't think I was down as such yesterday. It was just a big day doing a lot of 'firsts' that I have been avoiding. It was tough but I felt good for doing them as well. It is a good reminder that I can be strong.

Jo: Thanks for the encouragement. It is always hard for us to face our fears, more now than ever. I hope you are able to find a quiet place whilst you are at your friends' house. We all have bad days and need that time to grieve. Glad to hear AF has returned, and returned with a passion by the sounds of it! Fingers crossed that your cycle will get some normalcy for you.

I had another Kinesiology session this morning. I really enjoy it, but can't describe it! It is very unusual. The lady is lovely and she really seems to understand what I am saying. I told her that I think I am focussing too much on having another baby, and that is means that I am easily disappointed. So we are going to focus our sessions on motivation and positive thoughts - all things I struggle with. So feeling good after that session, but tired as well. Tired - and only the start of the day!

Barbara: Hope you had a lovely trip seeing your god-daughter. How are things?

[Anthonysmom]

TM thanks for the silver lining. i have been looking for those a lot these days.

Katie - I know what you mean about focusing so much on having another baby. That is all I think about these days...how many days til i ovulate. I wasn't like this when we TTC Anthony.

Jo - Glad you are ok with AF. I was too. It is a pain when it is so heavy. Hopefully she doesn't stay too long.

Well AF came in with gusto and left pretty quickly. I had a very heavy AF for three days and then Tuesday cam and **** she was gone. No spotting no nothing. weird. It is DHs bday weekend. Yes even at 33 he needs a whole weekend to celebrate. We went out last night with some friends and today is with family. His bday isn't even really until tomorrow!! but i love him and he deserves it. it is good bc we get our last set of test results on monday (hopefully they are not late) these will tell us if DH or I has a chromosomal issue within ourselves that can be passed on. The genetic counselor thought there was enough fertility issues in both our families to warrant testing. DHs mom had a stillbirth and s mc. My mom took 16 years of TTC before she conceived and her sister had a mc. well i am off to the store to buy a new vanity for my bathroom. fun.

Barbara