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Thread: TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the 1st trimester ~ OCT07#2

  1. #91

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    Jun 2007
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    howdy everyone.
    Starbright-big hugs for Zahra's 1 year angelversary coming up. you ARE a mom, just not in the way you intended.
    Judy- i like your idea that perhaps you are just cooking a really good egg right now. is it normal for clomid to cause delayed ovulation?
    CeCe- soy? so many painful memories coming up, big hugs for you.
    Klee- how are you doing? i liked your little song, it is going through my head right now.

    so, i tossed this topic out on another thread, and would love to have your all advice too. i'm wondering if any of you are having trouble with the upcoming holidays? i have been plunged into a fresh bout of grief the likes of which i haven't had since 3 or 4 months after Yeti died. i had been making plans for thanksgiving and christmas just like normal . . . food, parties, gifts, cards, etc. then when i sat down the other night to actually solidify my plans with dh, it all hit me like a train wreck. i've been crying for two days now, and i don't know what to do. what have any of you done or plan to do? i figure i could run for a holiday away and just ditch all my family, but that seems so empty for us. or i could show up and cry like a funeral for what should be Yeti's first christmas. all those little things during this season we all do to show our love for our family members, all the love the parents bestow upon their children. each act is a new spear through my heart. anyway, do any of you have some advice or things you've done or plan to do that might help? i've started cross-stitching a bear for a special stocking for Yeti, and that gives me something to do at least. to not even be able to take comfort in a season that has always been special is a lovely touch to grief. thanks for listening. (reading)


  2. #92

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    Default Please light a candle

    I would like to ask you all to please take a moment on Sunday while you are thinking of me and my dh to please light a candle in honor of our Little Princess Zahra.
    Thank you

    StarBright
    xoxoxx

  3. #93

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    SB - We will definitely be thinking of Zahra and light a candle in her honour on Sunday, there is no doubt about that

  4. #94

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    SB- you got it. A candle and some prayers for you. I will be thinking of you and yours this weekend, hun.

    CeCe

  5. #95

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    big hugs to you and Zahra and dh, starbright. xxoom

  6. #96

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    Big Katti.

  7. #97

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    Thinking of you Starbright, DH and your darling Zahra today - Georgie (ps still here just on holidays in new Zealand)

  8. #98

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    Default Thank you

    Thanks everyone!!

    Judy How r u feeling? Did your O come back??? I hope so, good luck in the tww!! It seems that there are a few ladies in tht boat.... i wonder if this is a sign.... i thought of you the other day- i was reading a magazine and there was a necklace. it didnt have a inspiring message like eyore, but it was one that i would buy.... it was called "the Five Rings For my Daughter" and it was a chain with a thingy with five little keys hanging off it with 5 different coloured gem stones which represented different things- You are supposed to give it to your daughter- but i would have it for her- but i would wear it... I asked Dh to get it for me- he said he will use it as am idea- but to leave it with him and he will get something made- i only saw it last week- so there wasnt enough time for him to get it done that quick- but maybe for x mas.....

    CeCe Has DH come home yet?? If you made the most of i "missed you lovins" you will be in a hopefull tww too!! How r u feeling??
    Big hugs for your own sad days approaching. Eli will never be forgotten. Thank you for your prayers.
    How is your mom going? Does it get hard around the holiday times for you too. I dont mean to pry - but does she know that its Thanksgiving coming up and things like that? Sorry if its hard- Big hugs

    AuntieM The holidays are so hard- Big hugs to you for your tears! I started doing xmas cards for this year and i remembered last year i wrote some while i was still pregnant and i had written Love Shane + Kat + baby on the way- and i feel like i should be writing Zahra's name on the cards this year- but i wont- i dont think some of my family would appreciate it

    Georgie Hey mate!! Howz thengs in NZ?? Thank you for popping in for me. I hope you are enjoying your holiday!!

    Klee I am really glad your scan went well- when do you go to the Dr to get the NT results? Thanks for your kind messages over the weekend xox

    Naomi If you are lurking

    Jo Hey dear- how is your Oing going?? I have been testing and even with tests its hard to know when!!! Its something to do though to give them a try... you should look into ordering online stuff- i know your in a small town too- i have stocked up on opks and preg tests they send them in a discrete box- it doesnt have "i'm trying to get pregnant" written all over it!!! LOL i was a bit afraid it would and i would have to walk through town carrying it!!! But it was all good- and they are sooo much cheaper that way!!

    Mel How is your tww going? Thanks for thinking of us and for your messages- it helped alot... xox

    Hey there are a few ladies in the tww here i think its time for some sticky vibes!!


    I have tested three times over the last few days and all negatives- faint lines- but all the same faintness!! One of my friends came over the other night and i had forgotten to put everything away- and she went to the loo (i had forgotten all about it) and came back with the funniest look on her face and it took her s asecond and she said- "Have you been testing????" and i said yeah there was a faint line" and she goes "Yeah- its faint, but its definately there..." She was looking at me with such antisapation with the strangest smile on her face that it hit me that she thought it was a pregNANCY test!!! LOL when i told her it was just an ovulation test she realised why i was being so laid back about a faint line!!!! And i realised why she seemed so excited and overwhelmed by her discovery!! Reminds me i should put things away somewhere!! LOL But i like to keep the sticks so i can compare how light/dark they have gotten!!! LOL i will have to get a little container or something to keep them in!!

    Well, i better go- just wanted to say thanks to everyone take care and sweet dreams xoxo

  9. #99

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    howdy everyone. so quiet in here. i hope all is well, or at least not horrible.
    kat- well, write her name on the cards if you feel like it and if it makes you feel better. that should be your main guide, not what your family's reaction will be. but i understand how difficult it is to choose a fitting remembrance that makes one feel right in such a wrong situation. your friend's mistake between the preg and o tests - lol - let's hope she has some vision of the future!

  10. #100

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    Hi all - back from New Zealand (my brother has been living in Christchurch for five years for work) had a great time - and found new chemists to buy pregancy tests from LOL (without the sympathetic looks from the same chemist staff near home)... Sadly the results were still the same negative. Although there was a brief moment of excitment when I saw a line...but it was the test result line just in a different spot to my normal tests....I had a couple of minutes of excitment though!!!!
    Has there been any good news while I was away (she says with fingers crossed)???
    Klee - how are you going? What's the update?
    MEL - everything crossed and surrounded in white light for you!!!
    I'll catch up with the personals when I catch up with the washing....will that day every come!!!
    Hello to everyone - it's lovely to come home and feel like there's a group of online friends to catch up with...
    love Georgie

  11. #101

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    Hi Everyone
    Sorry I havent been around much - got through Ethans due date and then had to start preparing for the "event"!

    I am proud and happy to say we got through it! It wasnt nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I held 2 four week old babies with no tears, although my DH had a few when he held the little boy! Its funny how things affect different people at different times isnt it? I spoke to LOTS of new mums in there late 30's early 40's which gave me some hope! I also spent a lot of time talking to another girl who lost a baby in similar circumstances to us just recently. She has chosen to not name him, look at photos or anything. I found that hard but then I realised "everyone has to cope the way that feels right t them". She is worried she hasnt dealt with it "appropriately" but I think she will figure it out eventually?

    We got home late last night and I now have gastro - another special gift from my sister and her kids! At least I got a day off work though! I also think AF has arrived today although bit hard to tell with everything else going on down there - sorry - too much info!

    If it has arrived then apart from being p+@#$! off because I had a good feeling about this month, I'm also not sure what to do about IVF - should we start straight away or wait til the new year?

    Oh well, back to the bathroom for me!

    Hope everyone is well

    Naomi

  12. #102

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    kat - I'm glad your remembrance day went as it should and that some of your friends remembered. re the name on the cards, I do this little drawing under mine and dh's name that is of an angel and has the letter P in the middle, thats my way of signing phoebe's name. by the way i loved your nz accent lol
    Judy - I hope the clomid only delayed your o, and that your now in your tww, actually i just looked at your chart and it looks like you are, good luck hon, wishing and hoping and praying for you.
    cece - how you going hon? thinking of you.
    Naomi - hope the 'event' wasn't too difficult on you, or more so that your sister wasn't too difficult.
    Georgie - good to have you back again, I was starting to wonder where you'd got to, hope you had a nice relaxing trip, are you now nearing the end of your tww? good luck if it is.
    auntie m - you know what I really haven't thought about the upcoming supposedly 'festive' season, i guess its something i just don't want to think about. I like the idea of buying and burning a new special candle, my sister actually suggested burning the candle she bought for Phoebe, it has her name on it, so when i am with my family I will do that. otherwise i think i will just be on autopilot, put on the facade for a few hours when i am with family then crumble when dh and I are by ourselves.
    Mel - hope the tww is treating you well and that the new job is keeping you occupied.
    update on joey - as kat eluded to we had our 12 week scan on friday, joey was nice and relaxed, the lead up to the week was quite stressful but i have to say the actual day was very unemotional. I have another cold, seems joey is taking all s/he can from me, and this heat is just draining, bring on the rains.
    hi to anyone i have missed
    Last edited by klee; November 20th, 2007 at 03:54 PM.

  13. #103

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    howdy everyone.
    Geiorie-howdy! good to have you back. damn on the test.
    Naomi- glad you made it through without too much trauma. how was your sister to you? appreciative???
    Klee- i love how you sign Phoebe's name on your cards- so loving. yeah, the candle sounds like a good idea, and the gift for charity. too bad no stiff drinks.
    hope everyone else is doing okay.

  14. #104

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    Goodmorning everyone - not long now till i see the OB on the 26th to hopefully get some answers for my 2 M/C - im getting nervous - hope its nothing real bad!
    DH and i have kinda started to try again - and i know we should wait - but i want this sooo bad - if i M/C again - everyone can say - I TOLD YOU SO!
    Anyways - have a good day everyone!

    Harmony
    xo

  15. #105

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    not sure now who asked the question, but anyway (lol) I always sign Storms name on any card I write from the family.

  16. #106

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    Hi everyone
    I have been thinking about how to sign Christmas cards this year and whether or not we put Ethans name on them? I dont want to "freak" other people out but I really want to include him somehow so I heard someone say that they have a paper punch thingy in the shape of an angel and they stick one on the bottom of their cards. That way people who know about Ethan will know what it means and those who don't won't be freaked out.

    Im not sure whats going on with my cycle - it turns out AF hasnt arrived - feeling very sore (but that could be from gastro) and I am now on Day 30 of what is usually a 27 day cycle - keep eveything crossed for me girls - maybe this is THE month?? Trying not to get too excited but gee its hard isn't it??

    Love to you all
    Naomi

  17. #107

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    I know one year I included Annabelle and put brackets around her name
    eg Greg, Tash, Nic, (Annabelle) and Samuel.
    I got a good response from some dear friends who included her the same in their cards back to us. Some of Roberts family were aghast and thought it very wrong to put her name in and were very upset and complained to MIL about us. (gee get a life will ya) and otehrs had absolutely no idea at all...
    In the end it is whatever feels right for you.
    We started off too the first few years we would buy a gift and put it under the Giving Tree at K Mart or Target and we bought a gift that we would have bought for Annabelle that year/age if she had lived.
    hugs
    Jude

  18. #108

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    howdy everyone.
    hj- best of luck on trying again. no one here will say i told you so. the angel stamp sounds quite nice.
    Judy- it is right to do what feels best for you, and damn the torpedoes (or in-laws, as the case may be). i only worry that if i do it this year and then don't in the future, i'll feel like i am betraying Yeti. silly what fears i can come up with.

    i'll be gone for 4 days for Thanksgiving, so no worries, just on holiday. i'll check in when i'm back, and good luck to you all.

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