I don't know if I really fit on this thread but after reading it I just wanted to say how much I feel for everyone. It breaks my heart that such wonderful women are experiencing such heartache. I am having a really tough time of late, who am I kidding, it has all been really tough and just when I think I have the courage and strenght to go on, something else seems to go wrong. I found a lump in my breast today and my DH took me straight to the GP who is almost certain that it is a blocked milk duct. But almost certain means nothing to me anymore. They were almost certain that my little boy would be ok... Once you become a statistic, statistics mean nothing!!! As a precaution she has sent me for an ultrasound tomorrow. I just feel like this world is a cruel cruel place, it has just been one thing after another since losing Harrison but I am going to survive this and hell, throw what you like at me world... I am just going to throw it back ten times harder I just feel so overwhelmed.... When is some good luck going to come my way... I am sorry to be a downer and I don't mean to sound so negative but I just want to get it all out...

Kirsty, I think that the decision to have another child must be the most terrifying choice to make. I know what you mean when you talk about our DH's seeming to get over it. I had some really good advice from a social worker who sad that women tend to grieve really intensly and are communicators where as men only deal with small bits of grief at a time and tend to hold it in. They get their relief through seeing us happier. I know that is a generalisation but I think there is some truth to it. My DH always says that my smile is the best medicine he could ever get. No matter what your choice is, just take your time, you have been through so much and you deserve everything you desire. I truly hope that you have a H&H gurgling gooing bubba in your arms soon.

Mel... You have been my lifeline in the last few weeks . I hope that you will have a wonderful wedding and more importantly a life filled with the happiness and love that you deserve. I know that the pitter patter of little feet is not far away.

I'll pop in tomorrow to let you know how the breast scan goes. Apparently they can confirm on the spot if it is just a blocked duct.

Sweet dreams to all of you
Spring Angel