Hi All!!
I am feeling pretty good today.... i am off the pill and i did get the witch again like i thought. All though that is probly a good thing . A good clear out and we can start fresh. i am all set to try to have my scan AGAIN on Wed morning. i have called my doc to check that i can still have it while i may be bleeding and whether this makes any difference. As i said before, I recomended i have the scan, not my doc so im not really sure what we are looking for, i just have this feeling i need to check it out before i try again.
I am having a little prob with DH...
He hasn't really let himself grieve for Zahra. He has been so busy making sure that i am ok that he hasn't taken time for himself. With our first two losses, as much as it hurt Shane, i dont think they really effected him as much as they did me...don't get me wrong, he was sad and he was there for me, but i think we all understand how internal the feeling is when our baby disapears from our bodies and doesn't make it to our arms , no matter how long they were with us.( IE miscarriage vs 38 week baby)
but then with Zahra, we got so far and he really let himself think that this time we would have our baby, and i think it has really hit him hard. I sort of felt prepared for the greif and i have slowly dealt with it. and i greived as much for our other angels so it felt similar, where as it is almost like this is the first time he has felt the greif so strongly. He is soo strong for me, but he is having trouble grieving now because he held it in for so long. And instead of just talking to me, he is starting to play up in little ways, by drinking with his mates alot and he gets abit cranky , i know he is going through a bad time and im not sure the best way of pulling him out of it. I am thinking of recomending we see a counseler together seeing as we are trying again. This is also what he is probly stressing about. He knows a pregnant Kat is a crazy freaked out, not sure what to do or how to feel lunatic. Which i am, as you can all understand.!!
I think i will hit him up for counselling and go from there.

I am trying to stop using the net so much at work, feeling a bit slack, i rush through my work so i can on the comp. i am on the mission to step up to the 21st century and get a computer at home! So if i am not here often that is why. That is probly why my posts are so long too, i get on and i have so much to say and catch up on because its been days since i was on. I will still pop in, but i may only have time to read other posts and not reply.
Good bye from me for now! Sorry no personals, i forgot my note book again!!
Kat xo