I forgot to mention in my previous post. DH and I have been having a few "discussions" lately about Cooper's ashes. As you know he is at home with us at the moment but we have a garden for him at the crematorium. Well DH thinks he should go up there but I am just not ready to let my little boy go. DH wants to lay him to rest, which I totally understand and want to do as well. I explained to DH that I still go into his room every day and hold him, and kiss him and talk to him and if he goes in his garden I won't be able to hold him again (only in my heart and dreams). I told DH that my empty arms ache so much that I just need to hold him now and that perhaps when our next bubba comes along, Cooper can 'meet' them and then our next bubba can help us lay Cooper to rest. He has agreed to this.

So today I took Cooper to the crematorium because he was in a temporary urn and I wanted him to be put in his bronze urn which has a plaque on it. I was going to wait until my mum was home tomorrow but now that DH and I decided we would put him in his bronze urn I just couldn't wait another day. It was hard going by myself but I know that Cooper would be proud of how strong I was. I even showed him his garden.

So my boy is home, in his perfect little urn and maybe I can stop crying and stressing for a bit as to when he will be going into his garden and can enjoy our time together at home