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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester April

  1. #73

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    Mel, thats a hard one. I have written three post to you now, but they all sounded corny. Getting a POPK and not doing it can be very tortureous!! I know I have been down the road of doing them and not telling.. and then DH saying Im too tired lets just do it 2morw, but ME knowing havn just got the POPK that it would be maybe too late!!! I would get so worked up I couldnt stand being around myself.Just made things worse. Sometimes its better to both go with the flow, or both be involved IYKWIM.
    Take care, you will know what is best for you...


  2. #74

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    Happy Happy 3month Birthday Storm Piper. May you shine down on your family today and give them that 'warm fuzzies hug'!! Take care today jo .Big hugs x0x0x0x

  3. #75

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    Hi Gorgeous women!

    Happy 3 month birthday Storm Piper - watch over your Mama and Daddy today as they will need your special Angel kisses today... :hugs:

    Thinking of you so very much today Jo - sending you lots of love and strength... :hugs:


    Mel: mmm the opk debate... Well, for me, my husband as you know has agreed to TTC another baby, however if he has to perform on a particular day he finds it very off putting. I don't tell him - he knows approx when I will ovulate of course but I don't put the pressure on with okay it's tonight! Everyone is different and you need to do what you feel comfy with. Personally I don't think it's an issue if you are both actively ttc - sure he doesn't want to be under pressure but it's helpful to know when the optimal time is to give you the best chance of conception. OPK's will help with that. If you order from Lullaby Conceptions - you can phone up and you will have the tests the very next day. It is a wonderful service and as I said you just have to ask for express post and you will have them the next working day (tomorrow!). They are by far the cheapest and I think they are great.
    As for when to DTD... If your partner has a sperm count issue every second day is best. Optimally you need to DTD when you get a positive opk. MOST women will ovulate within 12-24 hours of receiving a positive opk. So DTD the night you get your positive - this will put that sperm up there and waiting for action as soon as that follie bursts forth with a healthy egg! Do it again the next night and an extra one for insurance. Many FS will say every second night is fine - this is what I would do if I were you. Afterward stay lying down for the rest of the night if possible with your hips slightly raised to give the sperm a bit of extra help getting up through your cervix! It is also thought that if a woman orgasms this helps to get the sperm up through the cervix more effectively as well... I hope you catch that egg this month my love.


    Lynn
    : How are you? Any sight of your period yet??? It must be here soon I just hope it's today so you can begin your treatment soon...

    Spring, Chelle, Nat, Tommysmum and anyone else I have left out I will be back in later...

  4. #76

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    Hi ladies, thanks again, you are all such wonderful women, thank you for supporting me

    Jo - Happy 3month Birthday Storm Piper. Thinking of you today.
    Chelle – congratulations on BFP. Your spirit to keep on going is amazing, good luck.
    Spring – am in agreeance with chelle, pour all that energy into looking after yourself, if MIL can't see the rainbow through the clouds she's not worth worrying about, at least until after lil spring arrives.
    Deb – such wonderful news, will be thinking of you and your follies lol.

    Hi to everyone else.

  5. #77

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    lynn - am praying witchy witch comes for you. thinking of you

  6. #78

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    Jo - thinking of you and your precious sweet angel, Storm Piper. Happy 3 months birthday Storm. May you watch over your mummy and family. I shall light a candle tonight and watch it flicker as I think of your angel

    Mel - i hope you are feeling ok. Big :hugs: to you babe. I agree with Deb - order the lullaby OPK's today so you get them tomorrow. They did work for me (when I ovulated!!!). I think that these might help you because you might not be ovulating when you think you are iykwim. The supermarket ones are so expensive so I would steer clear of them. The only other thing to do is take your temps. You can buy a thermometer from a chemist or lullaby conceptions might sell them. This way you will know if you have ovulated because your temps rise after ovulation. I think if you use both you will have a better chance of catching the eggies. Check out fertilityfriend website. They have heaps of info on charting. I know what you are like Mel and I know if you don't give it a shot this month, you will be wondering was that the month. I think that you should give it everything you have and if it doesn't happen then you can still meet with the FS and work out a plan. And remember you need to be positive, I believe that this helps.

    Deb - no, nothing yet I am going to call my FS tomorrow is she hasn't arrived.

    Klee - thanks babe. Sometimes I don't understand the human body! Hope you are doing ok today

  7. #79

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    Hi everyone

    Well had a bad night sleep last night (really **** actually) and then finally dosed off for a deep sleep and dreamt that i was miscarrying (touch wood) - i woke up in a fright and it was time to get up - what a great way to dream...i am sure they will turn into pleasant ones sure enough.

    Chelle - i knew you were preggers as i had the exact same symptoms - congratulations !!! I am still getting ab pains (feels like my period is coming) the same as you - so i am sure this is normal. I can't remember with my previous pg's if this was the case (must have pregnancy brain already) ! I booked into my ob yesterday (have been thru midwives twice now but going with ob instead in the future) and i have my first scan in a couple of weeks already. Am due on 7th Dec.

    Mel - I have never used an OPK before - instead i have used a pregnancy calculator "wheel" which you turn to suit certain dates (eg: date of LMP, then it shows you when you are most likely to ovulate and your EDD etc). I have fallen pg 3 times using this wheel and have fallen on the first month of using it !!! I swear by it (a friend gave it to me and she fell first go too). The calcuations basically show Day 1 as your period and Day 14-17 are ovulation days, however i have another calendar which shows it until day 21. So basically i make sure i am covered between 14-21 days. Have sex even on day 12 (as i believe sperm lasts for 3 days - is this right ???) so you don't have to go hard at it and then perhaps every 2-3 days. I think going every day is not good as the others have said - you can overdo it and the quality of sperm may not be that good. Also, i have been told to hold off on the drinking (even the men !). And most of all relax and don't panic.

    I am definitely sending babydust to you, Lynn, Deb and everyone else that wants it !

    Lynn - please relax - your body doesn't need any extra stress. I know it is hard but i think this is a "game of patience" which really sucks doesn't it. It will happen for you very soon i know it will. I attend the SIDS and KIDS support group sessions and there is a lady there who can't get her periods right to start conceiving again ...you can see the stress and anger in her. The counsellor there suggested that we all relax our bodies to focus on conceiving. I totally agree.

    Klee - sorry about your angel Phoebe. Anger is just one sign of grief (as we have all experienced)- you obviously needed to vent it and it was just taken out then and there. Don't worry about it - you have enough on your plate. I am quite a calm (well i can be a ***** when i want to be) and happy person and i don't let many things get to me - always brush them aside. But when we lost our son it was a real test for me. I blew my temper - went totally off - towards (but not directly) to my MIL and DH. My husband said "what was wrong with you ?" and i said "what do think is wrong - we just lost our baby a few days ago - i need some space". I snapped myself out of it pretty quick and just got back on track to some sort of normality. We went away for a few days to get away from EVERYONE and that was fantastic....a good time to cry, reminisce of what could have been and just had some breathing space. I still get ****ed off with the world and think why did this happen (and think that our baby (like many others) could have been saved and it shouldn't be this way) but i just keep drumming in my head that these things happen and it has happenned to us.

    Deb - hope you have some fantastic and positive news on the follie scan. I am sure you will. Good luck.

    Flowerchild - did you have a scan too ? How did you go ?

    Just got a text from Bailey in Bali...she doesn't want to come back (i suggested she extend her trip - why not !). She tested but BFN and it is day 36 and still no AF - so fingers crossed !!!

    Hello to everyone else - hope everyone is doing fine and getting over their chocolate overdose ! Very chatty here i must say and it is very hard to catch up with everyone.

  8. #80

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    Deb - I have some questions for you and I just didn't know where to post. I just don't know where I belong at the moment, I feel torn - grieving and TTC after a Stillbirth but TTC with assistance. I am hoping that you can help. I didn't respond to Clomid 50 this time around. Why am I going to straight to IUI/FSH inj. I asked my FS about increasing Clomid and he said that the risks are higher on Clomid and that I have a better chance on IUI/FSH. When I look in other threads people are falling pg when they increase their Clomid. I can't seem to find anyone that is on IUI/FSH inj. I seem to think that I am not going to fall pg at the moment because I am grieving so much lately, but I don't know if I am grieving the loss of Cooper so much at the moment because I am struggling to fall pg and so it makes the pain of losing Cooper so much more. I'm sorry none of this makes sense. I just can't see the light. I can't relax because I am stressing over everything. I now have the biggest headache from crying so much and the pain of all of this just hurts so much. I just feel like I am in a vicious cycle - grieving, TTC, trying to relax, trying to be positve, grieving, frustrated, TTC!!!!!! How much can one person take?

  9. #81

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    Big big hug coming to you Lynn

    Ijust want to say how you are feeling is so very very usual. I truly understand. I am feeling very stressed out too - the losses, the pain of BFN's the stress of timing, follicle size, progesterone levels... It is bloody hard and what you are feeling is so painful.

    Clomid kinda tricks your body (hopefully) into producing more fsh which in turn of course grows those follies and the increase in fsh also triggers a bigger progesterone response also. Clomid is a great drug for many women. The downsides are a lot of the hormonal symptoms, mood changes, flushes, sleeplessness etc. Clomid also can have the effect of thinning the endometrium. This is why women usually have u/sound when they take clomid. If the endometrium is not plump enough implantation is inhibited and of course pregnancy rates decrease. Another reason why clomid is usually only used for a maximum of 6 cycles. Clomid can also have a detrimental effect on some women's cervical mucous.

    FSH is just that follicle stimulating hormone. So, it doesn't trick your body it directly stimulates it - it is a hormone. FSH is often touted to have less effect on mood, less flushes. It doesn't have the effect on the endometrium that clomid does either. It does have a higher risk of multiples than clomid simply because it is directly stimulating your ovaries to produce follies. This is of course weighted with the fact that you will have more frequent u/s on FSH than on clomid - this way the doseage can be adjusted so that you don't grow too many follies and thus decreasing the risk of multiples.

    Why would your obs put you straight on fsh? There could be a few reasons - what comes straight to mind is that he is being very proactive. You want another baby yesterday. Clomid 100mgs may stimulate you enough but it may not. If it doesn't it's another month down. Clomid is used first as it is less costly in terms of the medication and the monitoring required. FSH does seem to be more efficient at stimulating ovulation in women who are not ovulating on clomid. IUI as you would know gives a higher conception rate than natural conception simply because the sperm are washed and only the 5 star babies are kept and put straight into your uterus - bypassing the whole cervix nightmare that can have those swimmers confused (they are men afterall!!!! - just joking I dont' really mean that!)
    Overall conception rate using fsh iui is higher I believe.

    Your progesterone level on clomid suggested no response from memory - I really think that your specialist is pulling the big guns early to give you the best chance. If you would rather try the 100mgs given that your endometrium is showing no ill effects you could ask for that for your next cycle and see what the response is - or you could discuss it with your specialist and get his gist on it.

    I am so sorry you have been so upset today - those hormones are not helping any. I have been in a flurry today certain that I missed the surge and I have lost my chance this month. This is not rational and I know it but I have been in a bit of a way about it!

    I guess if it was me Lynn I would be asking your specialist the questions you have but from my perspective what he is doing is a pretty proactive way to go if you are happy with that tack.
    Another big hug Lynn and I hope that helped a little ....

  10. #82

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    Oh Lynn I really wish I could do something for you. Deb has replied in a way that has given me confidence in your OB (even though he is not mine, he seems like he knows what he is doing) and I hope she can give you that confidence as well. As you know I am not on the exact same journey as you in that I am Oing so I cant offer any help to re that, although with Deb around you dont need me. The only thing I can do is tell you that in my opinion your troubles with the TTC journey are contributing to your increased feelings of grief and hopelessness, along with the hormones as Deb pointed out. You already know what I have been going through as the months keep passing and I believe that my grief for Nicholas was definitely magnified greatly by all of the other stresses going on, and you also know the lengths I have had to go to to get that under control. I know how hard it is to remain positive, for me its basically impossible. After reading Debs post, I feel confident that once AF eventually shows up () you will be on the right track and hopefully it can be the start of some good things coming your way because you definitely deserve them. I just wish I could do more, but unfortunately all I can do for you is support you and be there for you and let you know that, even though I am not on the meds you are on, I understand that feeling of you cant take anymore.

    Take care of yourself,

    Love Mel :hugs:
    Last edited by Mel1977; April 11th, 2007 at 05:53 PM.

  11. #83

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    I agree with Mel Lynn about the feelings of grief. I am sure the stress of TTC adds to the grief which adds to the stress of TTC and so it goes. I know this is the case for me and it sounds like it may be for you too. We just have to keep the belief that we will get there little steps at a time. For you let's get that bleed happening and then those needles (if that's what you decide) and before we know it you will be cd8 and having an u/sound showing some follie activity beginning! YOU will get that Earth Baby it is just out there waiting...

  12. #84

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    Lynn: I just don't know what to say to make you feel better, I don't know if my words are good enough. I am not going to pretend what you feel like having the stress of TTC, but what I can say is that I think that grieving your struggle TTC is a natural reaction. It won't make you feel much better knowing it is natural, but it is hon.

    You have had enough to deal with it, and by the sounds of it, every day is consumed with tests, medications, scans and hopes/fears. I think everything Deb said about why your FS is going straight to the injections makes a lot of sense, she knows much more about this than me that's for sure. Perhaps next time you see him you can ask him those questions just to confirm Deb's thoughts on the issues.

    I am so sorry that you have been crying so much that you get a headache, is there anything I can do to help? If you want me to pop over after work tomorrow for a cuppa and a chat I can. Or if you want to have some Lynn Vent time on the weekend I am all yours. Even if you need to talk during work hours, you have my number so don't worry about calling me at work, nothing is more important to me then helping you get through this. Big warm :hugs: babe, hang in there sweetie.

    Mel: About the OPK test and not telling DH, I think Deb is yet again right. It may be that our boys feel a bit of pressure when they know it is now or never. I know my DH hated OPKs and didn't want to know what I was up to. In his own words he said 'I am not your turkey baister' which I realised was his way of saying give me a break honey. That is him though, I am still not convinced he even knows what OPK's do (lol). I don't think that it is wrong to keep the testing to yourself, but I don't know your DH, if you think it is going to cause dramas with him, then I say honesty is the best policy. It is a hard one honey, but you will do what is right for you.

    Tommysmum: You tell Bailey that if she doesn't come back I am going to come over there and kidnap her (lol) We miss her too much already Hope you get a better nights sleep tonight babe. Trust me, wild dreams during pregnancy are common. I have some of the most far out dreams, for example I got a tattoo on my back last night which was a to scale picture of a lion's head. Go figure, I don't have, nor do I want a tattoo, and the Lion thing, I don't get it.

    Chelle: I am glad you are feeling a bit better today. How did the fence painting go? Did you get plenty of help? I hope so, make sure you and bub take it easy babe.

    Klee: How are you doing babe? I hope today has been an ok day. You and your angel baby are always in my thoughts and my heart.

    Big hugs to everyone else. I had a bit of a better day at work today. I am still worried that I can't feel movements yet. Thanks Deb for your advice about movements, I know it is the truth but to expect the worst is just my default mode at the moment. Get to see Lil Spring on Friday so that is good. I think we have decided on a name for Spring. We are thinking Oliver for a boy and Olivia for a girl, they both mean 'a symbol of peace" and go with the middle names (Michael or Mary due to family associations) we have picked and our last name. The initials will be OMG though, which is cute.

    Anyway, I'll be around for a while longer.

    Take care my gorgeous ladies.

    Big love
    Spring

  13. #85

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    Dear Jo

    May your angels wings flutter up against the your face today and lay upon you a gentle kiss so you know that Storm is near.

    Sweet angel Storm, you are never alone for a mother's love is not bound by time nor space.

    Thinking of you today and always.

    Love Spring and Harry.

  14. #86

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    Hey Spring,

    Glad you had a better day today. Nice choice on the names, Olivia is my favourite girls name ever. If we both have girls and ever happen to meet up we will have to pick a nickname for one - mine can be Olly, I think that is so cute Oliver is a nice name too, and that is a nice meaning - I have researched Olivia when we chose it though and it gave me the meaning of olive tree.

    Deb, Chelle, Tommysmum & Spring -Thanks re advice on OPKs. I think I will do it in secret cause I agree, it must add more pressure to them when you are basically saying OK perfooooorm... NOW! If I dont get pregnant he wont know anyway, and if I do there is no way he would get upset with me if I told him because he wants a baby as much as I do. Plus how could he get upset when I say I didnt tell you because I didnt want you to feel under pressure and I did what I thought was best for both of us. He is a pretty reasonable person, and also he doesnt ever stay mad at me very long.

    I didnt see the post about lullaby conceptions until it was too late to order today though so I will just have to live with paying supermarket costs this month. The only bummer is I think you only get like 7 tests and if I test a 2-3 times a day over a few days I wont have enough. Maybe I should just test a couple of times on Saturday, then a couple of times on Sunday and again on Monday is I dont get a positive before. Seeing as Sunday is CD14 it may be wasting the tests to do one any earlier than Saturday - do you think?

    Lynn -

    Mel
    Last edited by Mel1977; April 11th, 2007 at 08:59 PM.

  15. #87

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    LMAO - man I am dumb sometimes - it only just dawned on me "symbol of peace"... der, that would explain the saying "to extend the olive branch" Im really not dumb, just seem it sometimes LOL

  16. #88

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    Hey Mel

    When you go to the supermarket to get the tests, see if they have instructions on the back about how many you should use in one day. You would presume that they would put enough in a pack for one month's worth of testing but I could be wrong.

    From your previous cycles you seem to O almost like clockwork so I think if you are due to O on Monday, testing on Sat, and Sun is a good idea.

    When I searched Oliver/Olivia, it comes up with An Olive tree or branch. A symbol of peace. so you are right. I love Olly as a nickname for either an Oliver or an Olivia, it is just soo cute.

    Lv Spring

  17. #89

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    Mel: LMAO about the Olive branch thingy, this kid is going to end up being called Olive Oil if we are not careful (lol)

  18. #90

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    Olive Oil is still a cute nickname though, not that I would call a kid that but I used to love Popeye... Olivia is such a pretty name and the only Olivia's I have met have been really nice people and also quite pretty The only Oliver I know is my BILs nephew who seems to be like this child einstein, he is so smart! I putting my money on you growing an Oliver though so nicknames wont be necessary

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