Babies Born April 2008 #3

[Beatrix]

Beatrix I know you have said that you have had counselling with DH, but have the two of you talked about why he is grumpy. My DH is grumpy and a lot lately too and there are 2 issues. One is me saying I wish I had his life and I'm going to be the man in my next life and the other is that he realy wants to have as he put it "a vacation from life with me". He is missing the pre children relationship. Is there a chance you could arrange for someone to have the kids, go out for a coffee and talk about how you are feeling?

omg that is exactly Dh is prob, i am always saying how easy he has it etc. i should learn to shut up. His work is very stressful atm as well, (****er boss) and he is feeling very trapped having no drivers license so there is alot going on for him.


I would love to arrange a time but atm he is working 6-6, 5-6days a week and my parents (only people i trust with my kids) have just left this morning for 6 weeks!!


On the up side he has just sent me a mega long text message saying he knows he has been really unsupportive and everything so he knows and is sorry, just doesnt know how to feel better about it.

[Sharon19270]

Tarnee sounds like Charlotte is doing really well, Oliver is starting to get rolls on his little chicken legs, they look so cute.
Shoegal big hope Baxter does well with his tests.
Fire I know that when I get a fairly good nights rest without Oliver fussing too much I feel like I can handle anything the following day, hope bubs does well again tonight.
Beatrix i'm not looking forward to Oliver getting his needles, it always makes me sad, but I know it is better for him in the long run. Sorry to hear that you and DH aren't getting along atm, a new baby in the house can test the strongest of relationships, hope you manage to get things sorted out.
BabyWrangler I gave up on forcing Oliver's routine on him today and he has seemed much more settled, even after his bath tonight, he had his bottle, seemed to fight sleep for a bit, but think that was because he got a little overtired, he was asleep by 5.30pm and is still sleeping now, will be going in to do a 'sneaky feed' at 10.30 if he hasn't woken by then. That is great that BJ is going so good now that he seems to be on the right medication for his reflux.
bellelass I started comp feeding with my 6 year old when he was 4 days old as my milk hadn't come in (didn't come in till day 8) and found it a struggle to get him feeding properly from the breast as it was obvious he preferred the bottle because it was easier, which is why I gave up, hope you manage to get bubs back to exclusively BF if that's what you want.
alittlegrubi hope you managed to figure out what Greer wanted in the end, and I am sure that you coped fine tonight on your own.

As for the cloth nappies, I planned to use disposable nappies Oliver right from the start, I did the whole cloth nappy thing with my 2 eldest and to be honest I just couldn't be bothered with it this time.

Oliver's routine today was pretty good for me actually, and he was the one who set the pace, he had his night feed at 4am, I then did have to wake him at 7.30 for his feed or he would have screamed in the car on the way to school as we have to leave at 8am, got him home, and he stayed awake for about 40 mins, I put him to bed still awake and he then slept till 12.30, where as before I would have woken him up at 10.30 so that then I could get him up at 2 for the before school pick up feed, but this way, he wasn't going to be needing another feed until 4ish, well when we got home, he slept until 4 but wasn't grizzly for a feed, so I bathed him at 4.30, he had his bottle at 5 and was in bed asleep by 5.30, at his 5pm feed he actually had 140ml of his bottle which amazed me, so he seems to be going 5 hours or so between feeds which is fine with me

[Fire]

All those getting those needles for their babies, I caution against the six in one shots they've just brought out. I caution against all of them really, but that one in particular is nasty.

Grubi, it could be a growth spurt?

[Tarnee]

Hi All,

Just a quick post - hope I am not gloating too much but I just had my 3rd night in a row of Charlotte 'sleeping through'. The first 2 nights she slept 10pm until 4.30am and last night was 8.30pm until 5am. She feeds every hour from 5pm until bedtime and after the early morning feed, she goes back to sleep until about 9am. I am getting soooo much sleep!!

The one problem with this - my very, very engorged boobs in the morning - they woke me up before she did this morning. I had to pump out 200mls from one boob whilst she fed on the other because I was sooo uncomfortable and already I can feel that I have filled up enough to keep me going for the day. I am wondering if I am risking losing my supply with her going so long between feeds. Do you think I should express both boobs until they are empty after she has gone to sleep at night so that they have all night to fill?? It will help me to build up my milk supply in the freezer anyway??

Hope the sleep fairies visit your place soon too!!

[Fire]

tarnee! you suck! that's so cool, maybe i'll do the every hour thing in the late day... i wouldn't mess too much with your supply until it has established itself, which it will do on it's own. whatever you express, your breasts will replace, incl oversupply, it will just adjust. i am gonna get dh to take off the excess next engorgement, and just enough that i can handle the feeling without having to wake DS.

[Nettie]

Tarnee - I am so jealous! I might try that too -hourly feeds. Does she feed as much each time or are they just 'snacks'?

Nothing much to report here... will check back later!

[BabyWrangler]

Wow Tarnee thats great!

Bj is doing well in my eyes, bed and asleep by about 7:30 last night (he was very tired after a mucked up day yesterday), then i went in and fed him while he slept at 10:30pm, he went through til 4am, had a feed, back to sleep til 8:45, then a feed, up til about 10:00, into bed again, then up for us to go out at 11:30(I woke him), we went to a friends place and he slept til 2, had a feed, then was back in bed when we got home at 4:30....next feed is due about 6pm with his medi, then we start it all again.

[alittlegrubi]

Beatrix this post is for you

omg that is exactly Dh is prob, i am always saying how easy he has it etc. i should learn to shut up. His work is very stressful atm as well, (****er boss) and he is feeling very trapped having no drivers license so there is alot going on for him. On the up side he has just sent me a mega long text message saying he knows he has been really unsupportive and everything so he knows and is sorry, just doesnt know how to feel better about it.

OMG back at you....maybe we should put our DH's together to talk. Today my DH was making a big effort with both the kids, but every time Greer started crying he would get grumpy, so I ended up screaming at him to just give her here and go to the gym or whatever it was that he wanted to do. His response was, what so I can feel guilty about leaving you to deal with cleaning up and the kids. I asked why he suddenly felt guilty and his response was - "I've seen the light" it was funny.

I think that it is just that the two of us me and DH and probably for yourself too is that we are always too stressed by what we are doing (him - work and no time for self, me/you- kids and lack of sleep.

Not that this is for you, but I found that by giving him permission to have a night out with the boys helped. Maybe you could ask DH what would he like to do if he didn't have to consider anyone else and let him have it even if you have to wait 6 weeks if he wants a date with you. Do something romantic like handmake an invite to a date, just the two of you, again even if it is at home - write like coffee and cake for 2 at Chateau Beatrix - for a time when the kids are sleeping. I actually left a post it note on my DH's pillow asking him to have an affair with me and then I'd text him before he came home asking him to meet at my place for a quickie. If you treat him like someone you were starting a relationship with things might improve. Leave post its in his briefcase/lunchbox, on his toothbrush etc saying I love you in different ways. Give him something to smile about and he might start doing the same.

Sounds to me like he wants it to work... you're just going through a rough patch.

Going for a seperate post for the rest of you....

[alittlegrubi]

Tarnee If you keep expressing, won't that tell your supply to keep up for that time frame when she isn't feeding. Lucky you on the sleep through.

Sharon We went and laid down in the afternoon and I just kept talking to her when she cried until she fell asleep. We slept for about 2 and a half hours. When she started again for the witching hour, I tried the AP comforting, but ended up giving her a bath, fresh clothes a feed and she slept for an hour and a half from 8pm to 9.30pm, then fed again and slept until just befor 1am, then fed again and slept for another 4 hours until just after 4am, alert for a short time and back to sleep until 7.30am. I actually dealt with my day very well including cooking dinner and cleaning up - which I had written off when I posted yesterday.

Fire might be a growth spurt, she seems to need the feeds as she hasn't had a power chuck, which I have now identified as me overfeeding when she just needs some love and healing time. I'm trying to workout if I should by Tears and Tantrums or Aware Baby first since I can't find the in any public library in WA.

[mgm]

a quick hello to you all - quick because i'm cooking risotto (needs constant stirring). i have the sling on, all ready for the first sound of grizzling from DD, but amazingly she's currently quite content lying in a cocoon in the loungeroom to the sounds of eurovision.

tarnee, you must be the most well-rested mother in australia! i would happily endure the engorged breasts to sleep all night long... but i can't complain because although dd is waking frequently for feeds, she's going back to sleep after instead of having two-hour waking periods at ungodly hours. that said, i hope i haven't jinxed tonight by writing this because you never know with babies...

beatrix and grubi, good luck with your DHs. there's nothing more testing for a relationship than the arrival of babies. before dd arrived, dh and i managed to resolve some issues that had been weighing on my mind for years and that has made an enormous difference. he is very very slow to respond to emotional things, so i always ask him go away and think about things before responding because i know he takes time (days, even weeks!) to take things in. i have even put things in writing at times because it helps me clarify my thoughts and allows him to read, re-read and make a considered response. men can be so different from womenn sometimes...

ok gotta go. wishing a good and restful night to everyone!

[bellelass]

hallelujah, i got 8 straight hours of sleep last night. she'd only slept for 4-5ish broken hours for the past 5 days with tiny catnaps during the day, so i knew there had to be a breaking point. she went down a 10, up at 5 and had 200mls, and wow she's asleep again... I don't expect it to ever happen again, but for now I'm just so grateful.

sharon- I'll either get her back on the breast or invest in an electric pump. Am weighing the options. I don't think I'll ff, I have such a good supply it almost seems like some terrible waste to not use it. And we're pretty poor and bm is so cheap.. I'm just **** scared to try to put her back on the breast, after all the pain and pain pain pain and bleeding I went through before...

Janine- have given Lila the Hep B shot, and intend to have her MMR's at the very least. I'm a bit concerned about the one that contains thermisol (think thats what its called) as its been linked to autism... What are your reasons for being anti-injection? (website since Im sure it would take ages to write all about it...)

MGM- Lila liked Eurovision, too. Maybe a coincidence, but she was quite settled when it was on. hehe.

As for husbands... I encourage mine to go out and see his friends at least one night a week. Usually its him and a mate drinking beers and playing xbox for a few hours. Just that little bit lets him feel like he's still a person I guess. Not like I get any time like that, but I will soon enough when Lila's a little bigger. Anyway, the point is, that time is important to him and he comes home relaxed and refreshed and wanting to help out. Or maybe its guilt. Either way, he is happy and I'm happy because he is and because he comes home so ready to give me a little break and be a nurturing daddy for a few hours.

And I make a huge effort to dtd every few days even if Im exhausted and don't feel like it. Sex is important to him, not just the physical act, but feeling close to me and being loved in a way only I can provide for him. Its nothing protracted or earth-shattering usually but I think its important for us. It still feels a bit strange down there, almost like I've had a v-transplant or something, but its coming back slowly... Sorry if this is tmi but I think its important.

[Fire]

How on earth are you all getting your babies to sleep that long?

*grumble grumble*

I guess I'll have to deal with my lot cos his snuffles wake him and only feeds or sitting up for a while clears his nose. So I'm feeding almost hourly after 2am. I can't wait until he outgrows that.

Steph, you're right, it's a long history of research and I risk soundy preachy or judgmental so I'm trying to find satanicvaccines.com, which cuts to the chase (as you can tell by the name!), but they won't let me access it today. But the book Vaccination Roulette was informative for the layman. There are vax sites giving real research and info, not hyperbole. Actually, AVN has that book, and is not a bad website, although it is still building.

Thermisol is mercury. They use other names so if a parent reads the packaging, they can't really tell. Kinda like the food manufacturers who use numbers instead of the real ingredients. They have taken the mercury out of some vaxes (so they tell us), this year. But they still contain formaldehyde and dangerous proteins. Many babies have no reactions that you can see immediately, and that's the key. Parents think that cos their kid had no reaction, all is well and they coped with it. But that chemical ****tail is swarming in their immature veins for the rest of their life, and not all the damage is immediately seen. My kids (and myself) are not vaxed and we don't get sick like vaxed kids do. My daughter hasn't had her immune system hammered by vaxes so ironically, she is healthier and it shows. Yet my niece in the states is fully vaxed and ended up hospitalised with measles. The stats from that outbreak report that just as many vaxed kids as the unvaxed got the measles. So it isn't even working. Plus, they don't take effect for at least a year (they even tell us that), so doing it to protect an infant is pointless, they won't be an infant anymore by the time they apparently "work". And yeah, the link between toxins like mercury and autism has been effectively proven, they just are being a little dicey with releasing that info.

/rant

[Fire]

My doula made a homebirth video and I'm in it! I'm a celeb . Although I'm in the "when things go wrong" segment, which is about 2 minutes into it. I cried when I saw it, my husband and daughter and midwife... all supporting me... *sob*. For a looksee (for those with any time left after kidwrangling)

homebirth

[Fire]

Grubi, re overfeeding, it's confusing isn't it? I can't figure it out. I read a real AP book that advocates comfort nursing, yet they chuck if they eat too much!

Do any of you think that it's the ability your kids have of sucking that helps them sleep? DH is trying to teach DS to suck his fingers and sometimes it works, but like a dummy, it feels like suppression to me so I'm grappling with it. So I'm wondering what you think the trick is at your house. Blankies and dummies and stuff are identified as things that stop a baby/child from expressing crying or other emotion, and I've seen that in DD now that she's older what Blankie did for her, good and bad. I am trying not to repeat certain mistakes. Anyone have an opinion on this?

Zennie, I'm glad things are looking up.

[Zennie]

Janine - i let Russell comfort suck at the boob rather than offer his dummy and would rather hold him and comfort him then leave him to work it out for himself and so far todate, he will rarely take a dummy to settle and when he dose its usually when we are in the car. Russell seems to settle better when allowed to comfort himself in the way that he wants to be comforted and i think thats the key, do how they want it to be done and empower DS not suppress him with alternative mechanisms. so if he wants to suck his fingers id let him but wouldnt force it on him, more let him discover for himself.

[BabyWrangler]

Hmm the quick reply button disappeared again!

My DS has a dummy, mainly because of the reflux, I don't want him sucking on me all the time because he has thickener in his EBM, and when I DID let him have me the other day, he had heaps more wind than he's had for days....so its dummy for him!

His routine is going really well, 10, 2 and 6 feeds 2-3 hour sleeps in between, he's got a bit of cradle cap at the moment, really really mild, but we are going to anti-dandruff it every 2nd day for a week or so and that should knock it on the head.

He's drinking about 125ml of thickened EBM each feed at the moment with a top up "dream feed" at about 10pm, rather than just letting him sleep as long as he wants....I'm being quite rigid with it mainly because of his Zantac, I like to keep it evenly spaced...