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Thread: Babies Born June 2006 #15

  1. #91

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    Bath - very interesing...how are you supposed to go back to study, run a household AND make Verity's lunch before school?? Isn't that just asking you to be a martyr??? My grr is with you!
    Neeny - "NO nutritional value in breastmilk" after 18 months...untrue! It may not be crucial to kids' development, but don't try to tell anyone straightfaced that breastmilk is just lolly water after a certain age because it is patently untrue! It's one thing to be sensitive around people who, for whatever reason, don't breastfeed, it is quite another to call extended breastfeeding 'totally gross'. I don't care that BFing doesn't mean much to you, but it is an important part of my parenting. I feel very liberated since my breasts became 'de-sexualised'! I am not a barnyard cow, my extended breastfeeding friends are not barnyard cows, thanks very much. We do not feel that way and we don't actually care if we offend you because the only explanation we owe is to ourselves and our children. I invite you to explore how you come to the conclusion, within yourself, that extended BFing is gross -what's gross about it? Why? How does it make you feel? Sure, you're entitled to your opinion, but on this forum, in this thread, was that comment really necessary?
    Ali - the APers on the show never made a judgement call on non-APers, in case that's what you thought had happened on the show - it was the other way around!
    Just so happens that the parenting style I am instinctually driven to is pretty much attachment parenting, sans the EC. Attachment theory is not Attachment Parenting, but they are related - it's not like a religion or anything
    Gotta take Oscar outside for an al fresco feed...


  2. #92

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    Thanks Kathryn, thats why i havent really dicussed it... I dont want to start a massive debate in here!!

    So everyone, hows the weather today??

    eta - ik, lol on the al fresco feed!!

  3. #93

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    Simone - I'm about to put out my last load - the first one is inside already, what a great washing day! I gave the library storytime a miss cos it's too nice a day to forego the washing, being that tomorrow will be raining. Back outside for my own version of storytime - have the playmat on the picnic rug, the rocker with hood, BFing cloth (for my ridiculously fast let down), and the dog kindly depositing his large, chewed doggie tyre at our feet...oh, and an Aldi icypole!
    Such a nice backyard day...once the dog poo has been removed!

  4. #94

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    sounds so nice ik... he boys are in bed, im not inside cleaning today (save that for the indoor day tomorrow) just laying on my bed, tapping away on the laptop, with Anneliese on a pillow bf. what a day. nice and relaxing. And soon, i'll have to brave peak hr to go get DH from Essendon. yay.

  5. #95
    littlerigger Guest

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    IK - I feel that you are attacking Neeny without really understanding her situation. Would you say "BFing didn't mean much to you" to someone that had had a masectomy??? Honestly, right now I feel like telling you to pull your head in. Actually, I'm going to do it. Some of us couldn't breastfeed. Not because we didn't want to but because of medical / physical issues. Neeny was expressing HER feelings as others had. I don't feel that your attack was warranted. I appreciate that you are opinionated and like telling everyone exactly what you think. Sometimes (often) you come across as though you feel like you need to be a preacher. You don't. You have continued to ask Neeny if her comment was needed. YES by god it was. Other people were expressing their feelings so Neeny expressed hers. She did not say YOU were a barnyard cow did she? She said SHE is not a barnyard cow. I think that you are so passionate about your BFing success, and good on you, that you have let it warp the way that you perceive the opinions of others. I'm glad you co sleep and enjoy all these things. I personally don't co-sleep. I must be a bad mum right? I don't BF. I started solids early. God there I've fallen several rungs of the mothering according to IK ladder. How will you ever view me? Glad you are so confident in your mothering to take to attacking others on here personally. I was watching this thread hoping it would not turn this way but it has. I feel saddened that Neeny was attacked when she is such a darling woman. I feel that I can no longer be a part of this group.

    Good luck ladies. Neeny, hugs to you hun, you didn't deserve what you got. And Nerdy, you know where to find me.

    Farewell.

  6. #96

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    IK- I think I was getting more at parenting in general, everybody likes to believe that they way do things is the best way to do it, and are often more judgemental of people who choose to do it differently. I think it is just the society we live in that makes us fear and judge what we don't know if defence of our own beliefs and values- the old attack before being attacked mentality

    I have to agree that the attack on Neeny was unwarranted, I thought this was a safe place to express our points of view.

    Candy- For what it is worth I think you are a brilliant mum with a darling son!
    Last edited by *Ali*; October 24th, 2006 at 03:26 PM.

  7. #97

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    Oh dear... Candy I'm sorry to see you leave but darl you've just done what you accused IK of doing: attack. I didn't read any malice in what IK posted but I have to say I did read malice in your post to IK. There is a difference between expressing an opinion and trying to hurt somebodies feelings outright. I don't think IK ever had the direct intention of hurting Neeny's feelings... but I guess I should leave that up to Neey to decide. This is just how I interpreted things.


  8. #98

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    im with Ali and Candy ... IK you got carried away with your post , and since we are being honest,its not the first time i just preferred not to comment but i will now....
    Neeny - you have every right to express your opinion without being "attacked " i agree with a lot of what you said , I hope this episode hasnt put you off posting.... i know it has put me off.

    see ya Junies

  9. #99

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    Please everyone, please dont fight. I thought we were all good in here, no succumbing to the malicious attacks that some have had happen in their threads. PLease dont leave Candy...

    As Kathryn posted, there is a place for these discussions, and although i know we all like a good discussion, i really dont want them to happen if this is going to be the outcome. We are all different parents. We have our own styles. That doesnt mean any of us are bad parents, or are doing it 'wrong.'

    Coming in here is the highlight of my days, i dont have much in my life, besides my kids... i like being able to talk to people, without fear of prejudice... This is a place of support, can we please keep it that way? Too many have left BB in recent months due to attacks such as this...

    So, whats a new, 'everyone-friendly' subject we could start... anyone?

    *the weather?

    *how much housework i would have to do to make my mother happy? lol

    anyone else??

  10. #100

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    (((Hugs))) we needed to read that post Simone, you're ace C'mon guys we can get through this... how boring would it be if we all had the same opinions and personality??? There are aspects about ALL of you that I absolutely love and aspects that i quietly find hard to swallow... but at the end of the day it's made me realise that tolerance is the glue of society...let's not fall apart!

    The weather:actually I'm loving the bit of heat a bit more than usual... certainly easier to cope with now that I'm not preggers!

  11. #101
    littlerigger Guest

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    bath - there was malice regardess of the fact you choose not to see it. yes, I have attacked. and quite frankly I am not one bit sorry. It has always come across that IK has felt her way was the right way and has preached it. I feel you need to re-read IKs response to Neeny. it was very pointed. "I don't care if BFing means nothing to you". How would IK know what it meant to Neeny, or to me or anyone else for that matter? she doesn't. I'm glad she is an oversupplier (which she brags about all the time) but some of us had issues with NO supply, and other problems that the ABA didn't have an answer for. I continue to feel that her response to Neeny was unnecessary and on that matter, this is my final post in the Junies thread.

    *waves*

  12. #102

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    ok i am trying to think carefully about what i write here.
    Firstly i am sorry to everyone for chatting too much about this topic in here, it should have been kept for another area. So i feel partly to blame for whats going on right now.

    I do however feel partialy attacked for stating my opinion earlier. And thats exactly what it was, just an opinion. (IK i know u edited to say it was not a personal attack)We all go on here that everyone can state their own opinion, & i do not feel that i need to thoughroly research any particular topic before having my say. Agreed i have not studied this topic in depth, but then i also did not try and say that i knew everything about it.
    I did feel Neeny was attacked. & i am sorry because you were agreeing with me.

    ok so if we are only to talk about topics we have degree's on then there should have been no comment made about the baby mix up at the hospital. Yet this topic was spoken about it like it only happened because the mother didnt want her child in her room the enitre time.
    But then what in the instance of when a baby needs to spend time in Special care, or NICU for that matter? I did not EVER (nor did many other mums) get the oportunity to have my baby room in with me.
    it was not my fault Nixon couldnt be with me.
    It was not Nixon's fault he couldnt be with me
    It was not the hospitals fault he couldnt be with me.

    so therefore the first time i seen my son i could have seen another baby and not known the difference. I could have held another baby's hand thinking it was mine (I didnt) but just because a baby is not in a room with the mother the entire time does not mean she should or should not know their own child IMMEDIATLEY.
    but i will no longer speak of either of these two topics because there is another place for them
    candy- none of us want to c u stop coming in here, you have been a big part of our group for so long. But i understand all the same.
    sara sorry youve come into this group at this point its probably not what u want to be hearing everyone dissagreeinhg

    Edited: If anyway wants to have a personal dig at anything i have said u can email me at: [email protected] so to not keep it going in here

  13. #103

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    Candy, maybe just have a break as some have done, then come back to us, we still want to chat to you and hear how ryan's going...

    If you want my email, bath has it, or it might be in my profile, im on msn most days...

    *waves*

  14. #104

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    I wasn't attacking you Neeny Let's stick to what was written! In a squillion years I would never mean to hurt anyone. If I did, Neeny, sorry. I was taking issue with what you wrote, not with you personally!
    I also never criticised non-BFing people. By Bfing not meaning much, I meant it doesn't rate in your day to day experience, true or not? There was no judgement in my saying that. What I'm saying is, fine, you don't BF (like I say, for whatever reason, not my business!), but I don't call FF disgusting or disparage it in any way. I ask for the same respect for BFers - feeding beyond 18 months is not uncommon and it is not uncivilised. I explicitly said that I am sensitive to FFers because there are various reasons for not BFing and some people are defensive about it- why should it be a case of 'gloves off' for BFing? I'm asking for a two-way respect. I didn't think the BFing comments were fair play. I wasn't attacking ANYONE, just asking for some mutual respect.
    On this thread we share our parenting experiences. I share my BFing experiences as part of parenting Oscar. I never tell anyone NOT to do anything in regards their parenting...that would be totally inappropriate!
    This IS supposed to be a safe place to express a point of view, but not to offend people. Will I be able to post with you guys in 3 years' time that I'm still feeding Oscar? Do I pretend that I'm not?
    I ask that we don't disempower any of our baby buddies. Please, no name calling, no disparaging someone else's methods. Let's keep it nice. I've re-read my response and I do feel that I responded with respect, I wasn't angry (hurt, yes, but not angry).
    Oh, and apologies to Ali - I've misled you, I missed the very start of the segment and it would appear that some of the people interviewed DID criticise parents who don't share their parenting views - you KNOW I'm not down with that!

  15. #105

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    And i have not posted re: baby mix up, as i have already posted in the appropriate area (i started the thread )

    Bath-tomorrow's more my kind of day, i just needed a good washing day as the kids were running out of clothes lol

  16. #106
    Cee_Cee99 Guest

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    well, lets all have a group HUG and let Nenny and IK work it out if they want to. Please no one leave, no one is attacking anyone.

    Baths - I agree, you going back to study will make any problems you currently have a lot worse, I think it was just an "outburst" with no realy intent.. he probably just had a bad day.... but yeah for your strike - let us know how it works out!

    Baby Yoga - Ally was besides herself today... really for $15 I get about 15mins of yoga..She feel alseep just as the class ended.. oh well, I had tea with the girls afterwards so that was nice (and Ally was asleep).

    Poor DH is struggeling at work... I send him photos of what Ally is doing everyday - however it is getting harder and harder to take photos with different objects!

    ohhh... washing is ready, I'm with you IK re: washing nappies, I actually enjoy it? Everyone thinks I'm a freak for using cloths, I'm the only girl in the mothers group to use cloths... But I enjoy it (90% of the time anyway).. maybe it is just a novelty? Oh well..DH will only put disposables on her? he hee...

  17. #107

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    ready everyone?

    one...

    two...

    three...

    GROUP HUGS!!!!

    (please?? )

  18. #108

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    Ok, Nic, The baby mix up and my comments - I KNOW that in a case of caesar's medical staff tend to separate mothers, I was supposed to write that 'where it can be helped' (I thought I had written that), meaning that in your case, it couldn't, in Neeny's case it couldn't etc. Baby Friendly hospitals encourage rooming in, WHERE POSSIBLE. I was positive I wrote to that effect, sorry if I didn't- if I didn't write it, then I can understand you taking issue with my comment about rooming in.
    Oh, and I'm not an elitist - I wasn't saying you had no right to comment (forgive me for making you think that, that is SO not me!) I was saying that if all you know about AP is from 60 Mins, it's not much to go on and that's not your fault - they're not going to tell you that their story is flawed. I got a bit self conscious and thought that you guys might think part of my APing involves holding Oscar over someone's hedge! Get this, I'm human
    Sorry, Mods, I'm kind of talking about it because APing IS my baby experience - the thread on the show mainly contains posts by people who don't AP.
    Simone - it really IS a nice day! I might just stay outside, though - no more coming in and out and checking the puter!

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