Thank you Hannah, I hope today is better for you. It is grey and raining here in Brisbane which suits my mood. It is actually a great thing as we are in drought - damn silver lining mentality.
I spoke to a counsellor yesterday and am going to go and see her soon. In your first post when you mention the size of a paperclip, that might be a way of minimizing what you feel.
You owe it to yourself to allow yourself to grieve darling.
All the best
Ax