Brings tears to my eyes reading this. I'm sure you'll find good support in here. Even though I've been through what you're going through I don't have any words of wisdom. Time was the only thing that really eased the pain for me. I also planted trees for our little bub's, a Magnolia for our first and a flowering Peach for our second. I'm a bit of a gardening fanatic so I found a lot of healing in my garden.