Teni you keep saying you're not assertive but your post is pretty assertive if you ask me! I was like you when I was younger, I hardly spoke and just let everyone walk all over me because I was too scared to go against the grain. All you need to do is speak up, don't worry about what anyone else says. If you want people to wash their hands before handling your baby just ask them to. At the end of every hospital bed these days is a bottle of hand sanitiser, they're even next to every door to every room with a note saying to use it before going in. Just ask them to use it if they hadn't before they entered the room. I bet they will. Maybe have a hospital gown on hand for the smokers, if you ask the midwife she'll probably be only too willing give you one which you can keep next to your bed and ask them to put it on. If anyone scoffs at your wishes, simply don't offer them the baby, make up an excuse like he/she needs a feed or something.

I don't think anyone here has meant to offend you Teni and I hope I haven't either. Remember this is YOUR baby and you have every single right to ask people to respect YOUR wishes.